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Need a bit of advice with weight loss

2020.09.15 11:14 ExpulsoReddit Need a bit of advice with weight loss

Information about me: 18, Male, 187cm, 92KG, DEXA BF% (Estimate): 19%, Caliper BF%: 16%, WC: 83CM GW: 85KG 14% BF (DEXA)
So I started my weight loss journey maybe at the middle of 2019. I was 105kg and at my lowest since then, I was 88kg. I didn't take it too seriously back then. Mostly just started (not seriously only once a week) hitting the gym in combination with a lot of aerobic training for sports. At the beginning of this year I visited relatives in Bangladesh, got sick and basically ate nothing for a week and dropped from 96kg to 92kg. I dropped further sustainably since then, and was around 88kg about 2 months ago. Then, I plateaued. I have a few questions about my plateau and what I should do.
I use a Fitbit to track my steps and calories burned. I'm a very active person. I have been for a long time, but I've ramped it up recently. After gyms opened back up, I get 15,000 steps in more days than not. I work in retail maybe 6 hours a week which is mostly standing up. I also have an active job as an assistant rugby coach which I do around 8 hours a week, and I'm in the gym at 4-6 times a week for 1.5 hrs each session with a PPL rotation. I mostly walk to and from the gym on days that I am not rushing (which is why my steps are quite high) I also play basketball recreationally around 4 hours a week for cardio. While university was on, I would walk to catch the bus to the library for studying. My Fitbit says I burn around 25,000 calories per week, so to account for inaccuracies I'll say I probably burn around 22,000 calories per week. There might be only a single day every 2 weeks where I'm not on my feet doing something, so yep, pretty active.
I know that caloric deficit is the way to lose weight. That means that if I eat below ~3100 calories per day, I will be losing weight. In the last 3 weeks with university holidays I've increased my time and intensity in the gym and playing sports. Apparently I have burned 33K calories each week in these past 3 weeks. Let's say 30K for innaccuracies. So I have to eat below ~4300 per day. Eating that amount of calories, even 3100, is bloody hard. I don't track my calories (I try to mentally track), but I have in the past (inaccurately). Inaccurately, I would track all the foods I ate, just with incorrect serving sizes for some stuff like rice. I'd usually get around 2,500 calories taken in. Again, I'll drop a wide margin of inaccuracy and get around 3000 calories taken in. (This means that I eat around 800 calories at each meal which I'm sure I don't). Basically I think I should be losing weight a lot faster.
My diet in a day usually goes like this: Breakfast: Protein Weetbix + Milk + Honey + Fried Egg/ 1 Roti with 1 tuna can mixed with an egg in oil (~500 cals)
Lunch: Rice + Some sort of chicken curry (mostly breast chicken pieces), another meat source usually turkey mince and usually quarter plate of veges (I'd say 750 calories is a bit of an overestimation) OR a sandwich with wholemeal bread with chicken, hommus and lettuce.
Dinner: Usually the same thing as dinner
Snacks: Fruit (Banana/KiwiFruit/Mandarin/Apple) around 1.5x per day, 1 tuna can, 1 protein bar (on days I work out), Protein shake with almond Milk, Protein shake with water (maybe ~600 from snacks in total)
Supplements: Vitamin D tablet, Fish Oil capsule, doxycycline (for chest acne) and a Vitamin C dissolvable if I don't manage to get my fruit in.
I don't drink any sugary/soft/fruit drinks. I have a little bit of chocolate around once a week, and I eat out for dinner with friends usually once a week.
Let's use the last 3 weeks as an example. 30K per week. Apparently I have to eat over 4000 to maintain. Instead, I gained weight. I went up from around 90kg to 92-3kg. So I've been eating over 4000 calories a day?? Common sense tells me I can't do that. I mostly only eat between 11AM and 11PM, so its pretty hard to eat 4k calpries. My WC has remained the same, so I assume that most of what I have gained is pure muscle and yes I believe that asthetically I look better. But I am quite confused. How is it that even though I am working out so much and my diet is very solid, I am not losing BF? My performance at the gym has been improving a lot, which again, on what I believe is a cut, is unusual.
It is just annoying because I've been very consisent with my training and my diet is pretty solid. Especially constantly having to limit myself or say no to some foods my parents might make. It's hard to stay motivated constantly when the scale is increasing, and really its disclipine that keeps me going.
I definitely have quite a bit of muscle mass because my lifts are quite solid (80kg for 5 reps bench, 100kg for 8 reps DL, 100kg for 5 reps squat) but I would like it to be revealed a bit more in the long run.
What I think is happening is that as I've been losing weight for a long time, metabolic adaptation has occured which means that I'm really in a caloric surplus. I've thought about increasing my food intake temporarily to improve my metabolism (aka bulking), but I wanted to see what you guys thought. Any opinons? I'd basically just like to see a bit more progress and if that means cutting back on my food restrictions for a little bit then I am all for it :)
submitted by ExpulsoReddit to loseit [link] [comments]


2020.08.12 23:00 Hendricks47 Kevina's troubles in Big China

A few years ago, I was an English Teacher in Beijing, China working for a well-known, mid-tier English school. The requirements to actually be an English teacher at most of these places are actually pretty low. Most mid-range places are looking for people that have these three traits:
  1. Native English Speaker.
  2. The ability to get a work visa (mostly, this means having a college degree and no criminal record).
  3. At least a low to moderate level of basic functionality
You get a wide variety of people signing up for and getting jobs like this because of these standards, and I’ve got stories for days about the people I met and worked with. Today’s are about the Kevina who didn’t quite understand the whole “China” aspect.
Now, before I begin, I should make one thing very clear. Nobody expects every teacher who plans to only live there for one year to fully understand the country, its culture, and its history on day one. I knew plenty of people who hardly learned anything about those points by the end of their time there.
However, I think it is fair to expect people to come in with at least some understanding of a few things. But then, there are people like Kevina who have absolutely no idea where they are.
Story One: Nothing ever happened at Tiananmen Square, or in Chinese history.
This company grouped teachers who would be starting at the same time together, brought them in on flights that arrived on the same few days, put us up in the same hotel for a while, trained us together, and took us on a few outings as a group.
Some of these outings were work-related, but others were for fun.
The most memorable of these was when we went to see Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City.
We went early in the day, as there is a lot to see there. However, getting to a place extremely early doesn't keep the line to get into the Square from being exceptionally long because, you know, China. This is made worse by the need to get past security to get in. It’s all pretty standard really, a metal detector, x-ray of your bag, maybe a glance at your ID if I recall.
On the coach ride back to the hotel, we were all discussing how much fun we had. Kevina took this chance to raise a question:
“Why was there so much security to get in? It’s just a plaza, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.”
The other dozen or so of us went silent at this. She didn’t know why they might be a little paranoid about who gets into Tiananmen Square. We knew we couldn’t tell her, because even in the few days that we’d gotten to know her we knew that she would probably start telling random people on the street about the massacre and how it was being kept secret from them if she ever found out about it.
One fellow offered a lame “Well, it is next door to the congress building, maybe its related to that?” in an attempt to kill the deafening silence. She bought it, and we all went back to discussing the day, though the rest of us felt a slight unease about how much effort we would have to put in to keep her in the dark.
Now, as I said, I don't think that you have to have a degree in modern Chinese history to work there or anything, but this was merely the start of ways that Kevina didn’t quite grasp where she was.
Story two: The temple of the Llamas
Just a little north and east of Tiananmen is a Tibetan Buddhist temple known as "Lama Temple" in English. It's a beautiful place that everybody ought to visit. I am sure that most people reading this can put two and two together and figure out what a "lama" is in the context of the temple.
But, a Kevina has got to Kevina. Somebody put pictures on social media of their outing to the temple, including spelling the name of the temple out several times, prompting this gem of a reply:
Kevina: “You mean like llama llamas?”
Pay no attention to the difference in spellings. Pay no attention to the llama being a South American animal and our being in China. Kevina was now convinced that there was a magical temple dedicated to those cute, furry camels in the center of Beijing.
Another teacher I knew informed me that she was somewhat disappointed when she went and learned that it was dedicated to boring old Buddhist monks. Not a single llama to be found.
Story three: Inter-cultural miscommunication
Kevina grasped that the wait staff at most restaurants didn’t speak much English if any, but she didn’t know what to do with this information. The last time I was out in a group with her, she took offense to somebody else’s meal coming with the wrong side dish. While the actual owner of this meal was pretty okay with this, Kevina saw this as the crime against humanity that it was.
Over the objections of the guy who was actively trying to eat his meal, Kevina summoned the server. As you’ve probably guessed by now, Kevina didn’t speak a word of Chinese. While this might cause most people to pause before they summon a person who doesn't speak English over to discuss a problem, she is not most people.
She started franticly gesturing to the offending side dish while shouting “no, no, no!” before pointing at her side dish, the same as what was initially ordered, and shouting “yes, yes, yes!” Just loudly enough to draw attention to our table from everybody else in the restaurant. You could see the tidal wave of embarrassment rolling over the rest of us.
The server, watching this wide-eyed and probably wondering what kind of demonic possession would cause a person to act like this, summoned the manager. This fellow did speak some English and got to participate in a three-way debate over if they should, or should not, bring the fellow who had gotten rice instead of fries a free large order of fries. Eventually, both he and the allegedly offended bloke who ordered the fries gave up to get her to stop.
I was told that she was rather proud of how that turned out when it came up again later.
This sort of thing happened all the time, according to my sources. One event I saw video evidence of involved her shouting over the phone to the staff of a local MacDonald’s who were taking too long with a delivery. At one point, she just kept repeating the name of the street she was on in an increasingly exasperated tone. As I speak Chinese, I can assure you that the voices coming out of the phone were all expressing their extreme confusion.
However, the most facepalm worthy of these incidents was during our training. During one session, which was not limited to our intake group, she came to know a couple of teachers who were actually from China. Upon seeing both of these women, who didn’t resemble each other much at all, stand side by side, she asked very sincerely, “Y’all two sisters?” She was surprised to find out they were not.
This isn’t everything that happened that would fit in this sub, but I think it paints most of the picture. She is definitely in the top three Kevin/Kevinas I’ve ever known.
submitted by Hendricks47 to StoriesAboutKevin [link] [comments]


2020.02.28 15:37 PibbleLove43 I’m 34 years old, make between $50-65k per year and live in Buffalo!

Title: I am 34 years old, I make between $50-65K and live in Buffalo and work in higher education, fitness, and retail.
This is another 4 month update from previous MDs in June and October of 2019!
Biggest changes: I’ve paid off more debt, I’ve taken on a 3rd job, and basically have zero social life. #DEBTFREE2020
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance (and how you got there): $23,800 (up from ~$21,800 in Oct) As with previous diaries, my main goal is debt payoff, but I have increased my Stash contribution to $20/week, up from $10/week. This is a combo of Stash Retire, 401K from a previous job, Roth IRA from current job, and TSP from previous job.
Savings account balance: $1114.42 (up from $1067.96 in Oct) No dedicated contributions, but the increase is a combination of cashback rewards and interest.
Checking account balance: $1797.32 (at the beginning of the MD)
Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it): $10,965 (down from $17,232 in Oct and $19,556 in June). WOW. I’ve been absolutely attacking my lowest credit card and I’m aiming to have the remaining $2100 on the lowest paid off by the end of March!
Student loan debt (for what degree): Current remaining balance is $14,789.92 (down from $19,885.37 in October and $23,645.37 in June) (combined loans for undergraduate and graduate degrees in International Relations. To give you an idea of how much I’ve paid off - I’ve paid $104,165.43 off up to this point). 2 more loans have bit the dust and I’ve scheduled my next payoff for March 2nd.
(Side note - HOLY CRAP. Seeing the progress is such an extra kick in the pants. The end is in sight.
Section Two: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $2422.64 I owed in taxes this year (grrrr), so I adjusted my withholdings to take extra out of my largest paycheck, which leaves me with $1211.32/paycheck - paid every 2 weeks.
Side Gig #1 Monthly Take Home: Anticipated February take-home: $2K+ (January take-home was $1153.76 (previously avg. $500/month)) I’ve officially started as an OTF coach, so that has massively increased my paycheck. I’m currently on the schedule for 7 classes per week, as well as 1-2 front desk shifts.
Side Gig #2 Monthly Take Home: January take-home was $874.49 (varies according to hours worked and bonuses - December take-home was over $1k So I did take that seasonal retail job - aaaaand I’m staying past retail as a permanent part-time employee. Yes I work a lot. Yes I’m tired. Yes I know I need to avoid burnout :)
Any Other Monthly Income Here: As part of my divorce decree, my ex-husband contributes a certain amount towards the remaining CC debt until ½ is paid - this will work out to a total of $284/month, which I will allocate towards their respective CCs. After getting my lowest card down below half the remaining balance, I did ask if he wanted to decrease the amount, but he offered to continue the $284 payment until the cards are paid off. I’m going to check again after the lowest card is gone, but I definitely appreciate the extra assist.
*I also will occasionally do Swagbucks surveys. This doesn’t make me any money of note, but occasionally I have enough to redeem for $5 iTunes gift cards, which I put on my account to help pay for Headspace and Apple storage. I used their link to file my taxes with TurboTax, which gave me about $16 cash back, which I’ll likely put towards iTunes cards.
*I also use Ibotta for cash back on groceries, etc. In the last 4 months I’ve made almost $42. So again, not a huge amount, but that extra $20 venmoed every so often is a nice bump. (Side note: my ultimate job goal is to put myself in the best financial situation possible so that I don’t have to work a desk job anymore. It’s exhausting right now, but color coordinated calendars and lots of coffee and my end goal are keeping me going!!)
Section Three: Expenses
Rent / Mortgage $946.00/month (+ $3.95 service charge when I pay online) - this includes all utilities.
Retirement contribution: $115.58/month Roth IRA from work + $80.00/month into Stash Retire (Roth IRA is currently $993.40 & Stash is currently $643.98 up from $340.95 (Oct) and $167.82 (June)
Savings contribution: $0/month (Debt payments are the priority)
Investment contribution: None
Health/Dental/Vision Insurance: $70.50/month (Through work, it gets taken out biweekly)
Debt payments Ahem…
Student Loan minimums: $803.43 ($413.03 goes towards the lowest - which only has 1 payment left - then on to the next!! DEBT SNOWBALL Y’ALL) Credit Card minimums: $330 (obviously as I’ve paid them down, the minimums have gone down, but my highest interest rate credit card still gets the majority of my debt snowball. Debt Snowball Target: My target for my debt snowball is an extra $1000/month. This will go towards the highest interest rate credit card, with a goal of paying it off in under 9 months. (October Update: I don’t think I’ll make that 9 month goal (March 2020) but I’m going to try to get as close as I can! 
FEB 2020 UPDATE: I AM SO GONNA MAKE THAT GOAL. In January, I was able to pay off half the remaining balance ($2200+) on that credit card - YAS unicorn paycheck - which means that card is toast in March.
Wifi/Cable/Landline: $49.99/month
Cellphone: Still on the parental plan
Subscriptions: Apple storage - $2.99/month; Netflix- $8.99; Starz - $8.99; Barkbox - $29.00 (had a coupon for the first month so it was only $5.00 in February). I added Barkbox because since I work so much, I feel super guilty about the fact that pooch is home and basically he’s the best and deserves all the treats; Spotify Premium - $9.99/month; Pacemaker - $32.00 (annually) - I use PacemakeSpotify to create playlists for my classes.
Laundry (if you pay per load): $20/month - waaaaah my apt went to pay laundry - $1.50 to wash/$1.50 to dry. I also usually bring a load of laundry up to my parents house on when I go up for Sunday family brunch.
Gym membership $25/month - I get free OTF classes for working there, so I budget this much for my ROMWOD and Movement Vault monthly subscriptions. My 2nd side gig also provides $113/month to work out, so that goes towards extra workout classes!
Pet expenses: $100/month - includes pet insurance. This is what I put into my budget for insurance, food, grooming etc.)
Car payment / insurance / average gas: I budget approximately $150.00/month (it’s a fully paid off car that my parents are letting me use - they are also currently covering insurance - seriously - they’re the best. Well, the Subaru died. Whomp whomp. She was a solid girl. My parents (amazing, lovely humans that they are) found a 2009 Ford Focus for me that they generously paid for. I seriously can’t begin to describe how phenomenal they are. The car even has a remote starter - and that’s seriously been the highlight of my month.
Renter insurance: $12.50/month
Average groceries / household supply spend; My grocery budget is $400/month - approximately $100/week. I still hold pretty true to this. However, Trader Joe’s and their frozen food/prepared food section have replaced Aldi as my BFFs.
Regular therapy: I currently use Headspace for both meditation and sleep help - 12.99/month. (Still haven’t got around to finding a regular therapist, but Headspace is still a standard!)
Charitable Giving: Unfortunately I’m not in the position to regularly give, but I do try to give to my alma mater during their Day of Giving. I can’t wait until I’m in a financial place to be able to regularly give.
Annual Expenses: YNAB (You Need A Budget): $83.99/year
Day 1: Friday
3:30am: They make a 3:30am guys. Oof. Haul myself out of bed, turn on the water to make coffee and get changed into my coaching gear since I’m subbing the 2 early classes this morning at OTF. I convince the dog that yes, we do need to go outside and he begrudgingly agrees. I grab all my bags that I packed last night and the all-important first cup of coffee and head into work.
7:30am: Successful morning classes! I shower at the gym and change into clothes for work #2. Today includes: black lululemon On the Fly Pants, a mustard Madewell T-shirt, neutral lululemon Sit in Lotus wrap and grey BOBS (like TOMS, but they were on sale at Nordstrom rack lol). The pants and wrap I bought on sale at lululemon - spoiler, that’s my 3rd job, so it’s fairly easy to figure out who I am lol- and the Madewell shirt I got from my mom when she was cleaning out her closet. It’s a dry shampoo and bun day and for makeup, today is Neutrogena tinted moisturizer, Glossier Cloud Paint in Dusk, NAKED palette eyeshadow and mascara. I stop at Dunkin Donuts on the way in and get a large coffee with Thin Mint flavor and 2 creams. ($2.71). I pay with cash that a co-worker had given me as thanks for carpooling the other week. I get to work by 8:15 and have breakfast at my desk. TJ’s frozen steel cut oats with raspberries and couple of the TJ’s meatless breakfast patties. Plus the aforementioned coffee. ($2.71)
12:30pm: After a stop at our other campus to drop off things for work, I head home to let the dog out. He is (helped by treats) a very well behaved boy. Once back inside, we proceed with many head scratches and lunch (for him). It’s a late work night for me tonight, so I split the daily food into 3 servings vs. 2. I quickly fry and egg, and pack it, an english muffin, and a meatless breakfast patty to have later. On the way back to work, I stop and fill up my gas tank ($30.50). Once I’m back at my desk, I eat lunch: TJ’s Tomato Feta Soup and Mexicali Salad, with a couple of Oatmeal Cranberry dunkers. (Yep….all Trader Joe’s). ($30.50)
4:30pm: Leave work #2 after toasting my english muffin and assembling my afternoon/breakfast sandwich. I arrive at work #3 and clock in at 5:00pm. Our floor leader asks if I want Starbucks, which I gratefully accept. During my 10 minute break I see that my sister has sent the sibling group chat a message for my mom’s birthday (it was earlier in the week), but we usually go all in together for a gift. I Venmo her $40 for my share of the cake and spa package, and offer to pick up the card from Target tomorrow. ($40.00)
10:15pm: Work #3 complete. Before I head out I realize that I will have no time to do laundry…..and I am out of clean underwear. Purchase 2 pairs of sale underroos ($9.43). I get home, take out a very grateful pooch, feed said pooch and assemble myself a quick late dinner of ½ a TJ’s Channa Masala, Paneer Tikka, and a naan. Manage to take off my eye makeup and run some micellar water over my face before finally hitting bed around 11:30pm with my favorite snuggle buddy.
Day #1 Total: $82.64
Day 2: Saturday
7:00am: Wakeup, with what feels like absolutely blissful sleep in. Coffee, quick shower, and take the pooch out. I make another breakfast sandwich and head into work, clocking in at 8:00am. I buy a discounted water bottle (because I can’t ever remember to bring one) and a coffee mug for my mom to add to the birthday gift. ($10.00)
10:50am: Super excited! I get to take the 90 minute class tonight! With my mom! Wooo! Clock out and get my sweat on.
1:00pm: That class was a doozy! Clock back in and finish closing the studio. I head home for lunch of (another) TJ’s indian meal and a naan. Quick change, pooch out for a quick walk and then I’m off again!
3:00pm: Aaaaand here we go. Come on 5.5 hrs, I can do this.
7:00pm: Bless my co-worker for giving me an RXbar - my stomach is about to digest itself.
8:30pm: I’m OUT I’m OUT. To Target to pick up a birthday card for Mom. I also pick up a frame for a poster I have at home, a frozen pizza (mushroom and truffle oil - yum), and a small bag of Stacy’s Pita Chips. ($32.07) Open the chips for the drive home. The pooch is very happy, we go outside to do his business, then I pop the pizza in the oven and crack open a much deserved beer (Elderberry Wheat from 12 Gates). I did Dry January (into about half of February) and maybe now average a beer every 2 weeks. It helps that I work so much, that I really have no time. I eat about half the pizza while watching the rest of the Aaron Hernandez Netflix Doc. I add up my hours working this week, Sunday→ Saturday: Work #1 (FT) - 37.5hrs (including 7.5 of holiday time on Monday); Work #2 (OTF) - 23hrs (including 9 classes coached); Work #3 (LL) - 16.25 = 76.75 hours total. Ooooof.
Bedtime around 10:00pm after washing my face (Target eye makeup remover + Garnier Micellar Water+ TJ’s face wash + Dr. Thayer’s Toner + Drunk Elephant Glycolic+Marula Oil) and brushing my teeth.
Day #2 Total: $32.07
Day 3: Sunday
7:00am: The pooch lets me sleep until about 7am - woohoo! We get up and do a little walk around the block since...drum rolll…..I HAVE NO WORKS TODAY. Back for coffee, snuggles, and a morning ROMWOD since my hips and lower body are feeling the 75+ hour work week. Shower and pack up my laundry to take up to my parents house. Our building went to pay laundry (waaaaah), and there’s only 1 washedryer now instead of 2. I don’t like completely hogging the machines, plus if I’m going to be at the house most of the day, might as well use the free appliances! Head up around 8:30am.
4:30pm: Heart so full. Got to hang out with the fam alllll day. Pooch out, and feed pooch. (also a peanut butter bone). Put my laundry away, and get to apartment cleaning, with “Some Like it Hot” in the background. Bed linens, towels, and living room blankets in the laundry, vacuum the couch, clean the bathroom, vacuum/swiffer the floors, and do dishes. Somewhere in here I eat the other half of my pizza from last night, and meal prep a couple of servings of lunch options: a roasted garlic risotto, green veggie blend, and TJ’s Shwarma chicken. I have a TJ’s ginger beer as well.
9:00pm: Bedtime after packing breakfast and lunch for tomorrow and my gym bag/regular bag. Subbing again tomorrow morning, so I happily crawl in bed after another ROMWOD stretching session and taking the dog out one more time.
Day #3 Total: $0
Day 4: Monday
3:40am: Basically repeat the AM from day #1. I give myself an extra 10 minutes on the sleep front, because I got there waaaay early on Friday.
7:30am: Classes were on fire this morning. Plus I chose a really awesome playlist that worked REALLY well! Wooo! I wish I had a chance to take a class today! Alas, not today. Change into my FT work outfit for the day (lululemon on the fly pants, denim button down, and leopard print loafers) and talk myself out of stopping at DD again. At work by 8am, TJ’s frozen oatmeals with raspberries and the first of many work coffees.
9:45am: Another cup of coffee and I snag my bag of pita chips to eat at my desk.
12:00pm: Home to take out the dog. I refill my travel mug with the remainder of my french press coffee from this morning and head back in. Back at my desk by 1:00pm, lunch is one of the meals I made last night - it’s amazing - plus 2 TJ’s dark chocolate peanut butter cups. The afternoon is filled with processing reimbursements and the Hamilton soundtrack (and another cup of coffee at some point).
5:00pm: Done with FT job, now back to the studio to teach the final 2 classes of the day! LET’S GO.
8:45pm: Whew - another awesome set of classes. As exhausting as it is working 3 jobs right now, I love coaching so much. It’s so fantastic to see people working harder than they thought that they could! Drag myself home, take out the dog (who is ecstatic that it’s not freezing out, so we do several loops of the grassy areas around our parking lot), and saute some kale and cauliflower gnocchi with chicken sausage for dinner (yeah, TJ’s). We both eat our dinner and the pooch enjoys a little peanut butter bone for dessert (I stick with cranberry oatmeal dunkers from TJs) and put on Masterpiece Mystery - Inspector Lewis to wind down.
10:00pm: Face washed, bags packed, lunch packed and all clothes laid out. Asleep with Headspace around 10:30pm.
Day #4 Total: $0
Day #5: Tuesday
5:30am: Up up up! Take out the dog, make coffee, and head out to work out at OTF this morning.
7:15am: WHEW. A tough one, but so good to move. Have to wait my turn for the shower (2 showers, 6 people who want to shower :) ), but shower, change, and stop at Target on the way in because in my 10 minute grocery shop last week, I definitely didn’t get an accurate amount of food. I pick up a package of raspberries, 2 Kodiak Cake Flapjack cups (buttermilk/maple and cinnamon/maple, a fun looking Sabra Hummus/Everything Bagel pack for later, and a small bag of dog food ($18.69). I also scan my receipt on Ibotta and end up getting $1.25 back. Get to the office, make coffee and one of the flapjack cups with raspberries.
10:00am: When work isn’t busy, it’s hard to keep my mind from wallowing. With my focus on paying off debt leading me to work so much, it’s so hard not to feel anxious about the future. Will I ever meet someone….will I ever have the time to go out and meet someone….ugh, I hate going out….I’m not drinking a lot, so where do people go besides bars?? What if I meet someone, and discover he’s super into going out and drinking...I like just snuggling with the dog in sweatpants and watching old movies….does that make me boring? Does anybody like boring? (you can see the spiral lol).
10:45am: My stomach is growling so I eat my Everything Bagel seasoning hummus dip (it’s actually pretty tasty) and have another cup of coffee.
12:00pm: Pupper time! We take a (chilly) walk around the block and then I leave him happily snuggled in his blankets. Back at work, I heat up risotto/chicken/veggies part 2 and thank tired me last night for packing a couple of oatmeal cranberry dunkers. I have my dunkers dunked in (yet another) coffee. One of my coworkers messages me asking if I can swap shifts on Sunday - means I’ll have to leave family brunch a bit early, but I won’t have to close! Yay! I agree - it’s the same number of hours too.
3:45pm: Early departure from desk job to make it to the studio to teach 3 classes tonight. Send all the good vibes - I’m scheduled to have 7 (!!!) first-timer in my last class tonight….
8:30pm: WHEW. Well, “only” had 5 first timers in that last class (yay?). But that was an exhausting set of classes. I get myself home, take out the dog, feed the dog, and microwave a TJ’s Palak Paneer and pop a naan bread in the oven for me (although the pooch gets the last couple bits of naan). FaceTime with my mom as I sleepily shovel food in my mouth. Wash face, brush teeth, pack lunch, pack bags, and hit a much needed ROMWOD stretching routine before bed. I’m out by 10 (I think).
Day #5 Total: $18.69
5:30am: Alarm! I take my sleepy pooch outside and then feed him his breakfast and make myself coffee. 2 workouts this morning - Barre at 6am, followed by a Row+Strength class at 7am! I shower at the second gym and head into work.
8:30am: I get to work and make a coffee and a Kodiak Cakes Flapjack - cinnamon and maple flavor today, but no berries, since I ate them all yesterday.
10:00am: A couple of weeks ago, I was startled (and horrified) to see a notification popup that I $100 had been auto reloaded onto my Starbucks card. WUT. No, I’ve never set up auto reload and I’ve NEVER loaded that much money on my account. I called the instant it happened, and the customer service gal assured me that the money was on its way back and it should be back within 7-10 business days. Spoiler, it hasn’t made it back so I spend 30 minutes on the phone with a different person, who now says they need to elevate this to a different department etc etc. AAAAAH. $100 is not a small amount! We go through everything, and I hang up feeling only slightly confident that I’m getting that money back.
10:30am: I need to make sure that I buy more snacks on this week’s grocery run. I eat half of my perfect bar (dark chocolate chip peanut butter) and make another coffee. I also need to buy some sparkling water or something since I’ve truly been slacking on the water intake this week. (typing this prompts me to get up and get a cup of ice water).
11:30am: I head up to our other campus to run an errand before driving home to the dog for our daily lunch date :)
1:00pm: Back at work for TJ’s shwarma chicken (that I thoughtfully cooked last night!) on top of the TJs butternut squash/spinach salad accompanied by (shock) more oatmeal and cranberry dunkers.
5:00pm: And we out. I head to the studio to coach my 2 evening classes.
8:30pm: Another amazing night of coaching! We’re supposed to get a decent snow storm tonight and all I have at home is like 6 eggs, so I stop at Trader Joe’s for supplies in the deep hope that I have a snow day tomorrow. I get cinnamon rolls, 2 frozen Indian meals, chicken enchiladas, frozen naan, 2 packages of frozen gnocchi, 2 bags of frozen side dishes (quinoa), a 4 pack of ginger beer, a bag of Elote Corn Chip dippers, cowboy caviar, dark chocolate covered pretzels, and oatmeal cranberry dunkers ($42.22). I’ll still need to supplement with an actual grocery run, but this should keep me alive for a bit. I get home, take out the dog, and make dinner - chicken sausage with some of the inside-out gnocchi I got this evening. Ginger beer and Inspector Lewis as I stalk my email hoping for the snow day notice. Bed around 10:30.
Day #6 total: $42.22
Day 7: Thursday
6:15am: UGH. No snow day here. I woke up like 4 times last night to check, so slept horribly. Up, make coffee, take out the dog (who is not a fan of snow at all, so it’s a quick out and back in), shower, and breakfast. I scramble up some fire roasted frozen veggies, a chicken sausage and eggs, and grab an english muffin to have with it at work. Remote start the car, scrape it off, and make the trek into work.
8:15am: I’m here, I’m here. Heat up breakfast and settle in. At least it’s payday today? One paycheck is already in my account, so I spend a few minutes in YNAB and move my money into the assigned areas. The other one shows up at different points through the day, depending on the week, so I end spending much of the morning refreshing my payroll site to see how much it will be.
12:00pm: The usual noontime dog run. It’s unnecessarily and aggressively windy out there. I sit down on the couch for a minute with the pooch and he curls up next to me (all 75 ish pounds of him) - I want to stay and snuggle too big guy! Back to work, TJ’s frozen riced cauliflower bowl with chicken on top plus another english muffin and dunkers.
4:00pm: Aaand over to work. I’m working behind the front desk today - and I’m struggling. The full week is definitely starting to catch up with me. But somehow I keep the energy up, sign a couple of new members, and make it through my shift.
8:45pm: Target run because in my hasty, snow day hopeful Trader Joe’s stop last night, I didn’t get everything I needed. I grab grapefruit spindrift, almond/coconut Kind bars, kombucha, Kodiak Cake flapjacks, a La Colombe cold brew coffee, perfect bars, trash bags, and toilet paper ($47.11). I saved $4.26 using my target app, and through Ibotta I get another $4.45 cash back. Fill up the car with gas and nearly freeze my hand off. ($27.80). Drive home, take the dog out in this absolutely frigid weather (so he goes very fast lol), back inside for dinner (inside out gnocchi and chicken sausage) + about 10 minutes of Inspector Lewis before racking out. I’m working the open shift at our sister studio tomorrow, so set my alarm for 3:35am (GROSS). Bed probably around 10:15 or so.
Day #7 total: $47.11
Weekly Total: $260.53 Food and Drink: $107.81 Fun/Entertainment: $0 Health: $0 Clothes/Beauty: $9.43 Transport: $58.30 Other: $84.99
Reflections: Well, that was nearly the same in spending as I had last time!
Overall, working 3 jobs is REALLY hard. The third gig started as just a seasonal commitment, but it turns out that I actually really love it. If I wasn’t so focused on paying off this debt I definitely wouldn’t be doing all 3 voluntarily, that’s for sure.
My ultimate goal would be to be able to just coach and work at lululemon, and quit my desk job. Financially that’s just not in the cards yet, but that’s the goal. Basically, coffee is my best friend. Today after opening our other studio, I ended up calling in and taking a mental health day from work work - so cinnamon rolls and pupper snuggles are just the ticket!
Apologies for any typos or ramblings! It’s been a week. :) Pooch and I say thanks again and we’ll update you again at the end of June!
submitted by PibbleLove43 to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2020.02.20 15:16 jw_mentions /r/RPChristians - "OYS - Where Progress is Made (02/19/20)"

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EDIT: As of Fri Feb 21 15:05:43 UTC 2020, the post is at [1pts4c]

About Post:

--- --- Notes
Submission OYS - Where Progress is Made (02/19/20)
Comments OYS - Where Progress is Made (02/19/20)
Author AutoModerator
Subreddit /RPChristians
Posted On Wed Feb 19 15:08:34 UTC 2020
Score 1 as of Fri Feb 21 15:05:43 UTC 2020
Total Comments 32

Post Body:

Struggling or failing? It's time to own it. Nice guys hide their flaws, trying to put on a false impression of who they are in order to impress others. We don't do that. We're up-front and honest with the fact that we're sinners and failures. James 5:16 compels us to confess our sins to one another and to pray for one another. 1 John 1:9 goes even a step further and makes confession a cornerstone of the Gospel - acknowledging that we are insufficient on our own. So, where are you failing? What do you need to confess?
To do this, it would be helpful to get to know how you're doing in a variety of areas. To that end, just as God is triune, he created us with three core parts of our being: our physical bodies, our heart/mind, and our spirit/soul. Try to cover all three. Use the questions in each category as inspiration, but roll with whatever you need to put out there.
  • PHYSICAL: How are you doing with lifting? Losing weight? Where's your body fat %? What have you been eating lately? How about your porn/alcohol/drug/cigarette/whatever use? Are you employing kino on your wife properly? Are you going too far with your girlfriend? How's your fashion sense? Are you still lounging around the house in gym shorts and using your ratty flip flops when you go out? How are you spending your time? How's your income doing? Your body is God's temple: are you reflecting that appropriately? For married men: how's your sex life?
  • MENTAL/EMOTIONAL: How have you been doing reading and learning new things? How's your frame? Do you still struggle with living up to someone else's expectations? Have you mastered Agree & Amplify? Amused Mastery? Negative Inquiry? STFU? Your DNGAF attitude? Are you failing fitness or comfort tests? How are you leading your wife/girlfriend this week? Do you feel pressure from any sources to do something or to act/not act a certain way? Are you depressed or lonely? Are you secure in your heart/mind that God's will is good, even if it's not what you want?
  • SPIRITUAL: How are you doing on the 7 basics? Rank yourself: Assurance of Salvation, Quiet Time/Devotional, Bible Study, Scripture Memory, Prayer, Evangelism, Fellowship. Have you solidified your mission - and does it have eternal consequences or does it only affect this world? Does your mission extend beyond the home? Do you have someone discipling you? Are you discipling anyone else? Have you talked with your non-Christian friends about Christ recently? Are there parts of the Bible you're just not understanding? How are things going with your church or small group?
Again, these are all things just to get you thinking. Share where you're really struggling. We may give you some encouragement. We may kick you in the butt and tell you to get to work. Or we may leave you to meditate on your comment yourself. How we respond to your comment and update isn't the point. What matters is that you put it out there so you have a milestone to look back on next week - something where you can ask yourself: have I improved or not?

Related Comments (4):

--- --- Notes
Author rocknrollchuck
Posted On Wed Feb 19 20:37:04 UTC 2020
Score 3 as of Fri Feb 21 15:05:43 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
Body link
Going off of the BIBLE STUDY part, I just feel like I'm at an all time low. It's been awhile since I've posted in one of these OYS, so I'll try to condense this. I've worked at a church now for a year, and I've seen God stretch me in ways I didn't think possible. For the past month and a half I've been extremely depressed. I feel like God is distant, and I know I need to press in to Him, but I've had a hard time doing so.

Reading your Bible and praying daily are essential if you want to grow in your faith. And especially so if you're feeling depressed. He was close to you, but He often allows us to feel distant for a time to get us to follow after Him. You're being tested - pass the test.

My role at the church is an "assistant" one, so I help with worship and all of the youth things. I'm basically doing two jobs, but I'm constantly reminded by people on staff that I'm disposable and that I'm lucky they even employ me. It didn't bother me at first, but I've been a bit tender towards it lately.

Church people can be a funny bunch sometimes, huh? Remember Who you're working for. And if He wants you there, then nobody can remove you from the position. And if He wants you out of there, nobody can cause you to stay. You're focused on man instead of on God. Remember that when you stand before Him on Judgment Day you will be held accountable for what you did with that. James 3:1 says "My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment." Like it or not, you ARE in a teaching position.

When I came on to the staff last year I was so certain God was calling me to be a worship leademusic minister, but as I've been here, I don't know if that's it anymore. I tried to write worship songs for the church regularly and that lead to a huge burnout for myself artistically. I've felt so confined and controlled; that all my music had to be 100% praise/worship songs.

Worship leademusic minister is a separate thing from being an artist creating original content. Why not focus on doing well in the position and put writing new material to the side for now? Even famous Christian artists sing well known songs in their performances. This sounds like it's more about you and less about Him.

As I came into 2020, I feel like God showed me that I don't need to take my role here so seriously and just do my best.

Are you sure that was God showing you that?

It helped me, and I started to pursue writing music again. I'm not making "worship" music but God is ultimately at the heart of everything I'm writing. I still feel dirty writing a song that wouldn't be sung in a Sunday rotation at church.

While there's nothing wrong with writing songs that wouldn't be sung in church, I see a clear progression here:
  • new faith>try very hard>get discouraged>start to drift away from God>start to engage in worldly things.

Please pray for me. I'm struggling with depression and I feel like I don't belong with the people here.

You have my prayers. And remember, most churches don't have anyone who will tell you the hard truths you need to hear. That's why we exist.
--- --- Notes
Author dansnapsit
Posted On Wed Feb 19 18:48:43 UTC 2020
Score 2 as of Fri Feb 21 15:05:43 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 5
Body link
STATS: 28 year old, 5'9", 163, single.
BIBLE STUDY: 2. I've been facing a bit of a crisis with my faith lately.
PHYSICAL: I've been lifting consistently (all compound movements) and I've begun to see some progress. Took 2 weeks off because of being sick + depression, but I'm back at it.
MENTAL: Going off of the BIBLE STUDY part, I just feel like I'm at an all time low. It's been awhile since I've posted in one of these OYS, so I'll try to condense this. I've worked at a church now for a year, and I've seen God stretch me in ways I didn't think possible. For the past month and a half I've been extremely depressed. I feel like God is distant, and I know I need to press in to Him, but I've had a hard time doing so.
My role at the church is an "assistant" one, so I help with worship and all of the youth things. I'm basically doing two jobs, but I'm constantly reminded by people on staff that I'm disposable and that I'm lucky they even employ me. It didn't bother me at first, but I've been a bit tender towards it lately.
When I came on to the staff last year I was so certain God was calling me to be a worship leademusic minister, but as I've been here, I don't know if that's it anymore. I tried to write worship songs for the church regularly and that lead to a huge burnout for myself artistically. I've felt so confined and controlled; that all my music had to be 100% praise/worship songs.
As I came into 2020, I feel like God showed me that I don't need to take my role here so seriously and just do my best. It helped me, and I started to pursue writing music again. I'm not making "worship" music but God is ultimately at the heart of everything I'm writing. I still feel dirty writing a song that wouldn't be sung in a Sunday rotation at church. Religious shackles? I don't know.
Please pray for me. I'm struggling with depression and I feel like I don't belong with the people here. That could all be from the depression, but I haven't brought it up anywhere but here. Appreciate ya'll and the posts are helping.
--- --- Notes
Author rocknrollchuck
Posted On Wed Feb 19 15:11:32 UTC 2020
Score 3 as of Fri Feb 21 15:05:43 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 6
Body link
Background / Stats: 50 years old, 5’9”, 196.0 (- .8), 16% BF. Married 11 years, youngest son turns 18 at the end of April (other kids are grown up, married and moved out on their own). Discovered RP August of 2015.

Bible Study: 10. We read the Bible together every night as a family, and read through the entire Bible every year.

Anybody reading this who would like a copy of the Bible reading plan that I put together, I shared it in this post.

Physical / Lifting / Diet: Still working on strengthening my legs by doing incline on the treadmill. I’ve had a few times where I’ve had some cramping, but overall steady improvement. My work day is much easier too, I average 5-7 miles a day at the facility and the cramping and pain was really making things difficult.

Calorie target is 1,900 a day. Went over last week, but compensated by doing OMAD for 3 days. I’m doing OMAD all week this week, I really need to kick this into gear.

Assurance of Salvation: 10
Scripture Memory: 6

My Mission is:
  • to share the Gospel with others wherever I can and help them see their need for Jesus as their Lord and Savior so they can trust in Christ, repent of their sins and become born again.
  • to minister to others (predominantly online for now) and help them grow in their Christian walk through instruction, correction and encouragement.
  • to help Christians grow closer to the Lord so they can serve Him in their own lives. I do this by:
    • First: encouraging them to get into the Word and read it every day. Knowing the Word is of the utmost importance, because you can't know what God requires if you don't read the instructions. This is especially important in this age of extreme deception and apostasy.
    • Second: helping them figure out what is preventing them from living authentically for the Lord, and providing practical advice for fixing those things. I focus on this in my own family first, because I cannot preach authenticity unless I am living it myself.
    • Third: to help them figure out what it is they actually want to do for the Lord in their own lives - discovering and fine-tuning the details of their Mission.
    • Fourth: to help them put their Mission into action by working together to figure out how to make the most of the opportunities God has given them, and where to apply that knowledge effectively, where it will make a difference for the Kingdom. This includes encouraging them to learn to share their faith with others within the context of their own daily lives.

Evangelism: I will begin teaching the Way of the Master Evangelism Training course at my church starting on March 12, and it will go for 8 weeks. My church is paying for all the materials and providing food as well as use of the video equipment. I’m going to start reviewing the material at home this weekend so that I’m more familiar with it when the class starts. I’m quite familiar with sharing the Gospel at this point using the WOTM method, but need to go over the basics so I can teach them effectively.

Relationship / Sex / Game / Kino: Our son left this morning for California. He’s going to a gaming conference for 3 days and then staying with my sister and her husband for a week. 10 days of having the house to ourselves…….

Parenting: We went and got his temporary driving permit this past Friday. I took him driving on Friday, Saturday and Sunday for a few hours. He’s already on the main roads and doing well. I have no doubt he will pass the test once he gets enough practice.

I dropped him off at the airport this morning for his trip, then headed to work. He texted me saying he was able to secure an earlier flight. He seems to really have a knack for handling things and getting the best out of it.

Quiet Time / Prayer: Still consistently praying in the car. I haven’t made much time elsewhere for prayer though, and weekends are hit or miss still.

CareeFinances: As I stated last week, God has made it clear that I am free to look for a new job. I have been searching online and put several applications in. I was also contacted by somebody who may be able to get me in at a very good company through a personal contact he has. I’m not sure how long it will take, and I’m definitely approaching this from a position of abundance: yes, I want to move on from where I’m at but I make decent money and am not in a hurry to move. So I will have outcome independence in job interviews as I search for the right one.

Also, my older son and his family will visit us in May for my younger son’s graduation. God may be giving me time to take some vacation before transitioning to a new job, I’m not sure about that. I’m confident I will know more as I get further along. Another highlight of this past week was finding out that my credit score has gone up significantly – it’s over 800 now for the first time in my life! Things really seem to be coming together.

Home Projects: Didn’t do anything on the house this weekend, but took the car to the dealership for service and some new tires. Also took time to take my son driving.

Fellowship: Went to a potluck at a church member’s house over the weekend, so got some good fellowship in with my church family. It was nice to be able to just relax and talk with people, and my family enjoyed it as well.

Social: Nothing much here with the hours I work and spending time with my wife and son. This will change soon when he moves out.
--- --- Notes
Author SkimTheDross
Posted On Thu Feb 20 14:11:13 UTC 2020
Score 1 as of Fri Feb 21 15:05:43 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 1
Body link
OYS # 51
Stats - 6’1”, 38, 186.9 lb [+1.7 lb in 1 week], 16% BF according to Navy Method.
Current lifts: BP 205 for 1, SQ 285 for 2, OHP 131 for 5, DL 320 for 4
Background - 38, Married for 15 years together 20, two children. Found RP in May 2018 and started OYS on RPC in October 2018.
Reading - listening to Crucial Conversations
Affirmation this week - My family and the business don’t need more of me, they need a better me.
Mission - a work in progress, no work on the mission statement since last week - Glorify God in all that I do by building disciples, stewarding the gifts I have been given and setting an example to those around me.
Ministry - 8/10
  • Men's group continues to go well. Not a big group, but that’s OK with me. A few guys that are interested and available in growing spiritually is what I’m looking for.
  • I had a phone conversation with a friend that was in a previous men's group I led. He expressed interest in getting that group back together. I'm encouraging and coaching him to take the reigns and assemble a group.
  • I turned down an ask to teach Sunday School.
Spiritual - 6/10
Bible Study - No Bible study this week.
Bible Reading - Read from my Bible reading plan every day this week.
Prayer - Very little prayer this week. It was too easy for me to procrastinate and not do it.
Evangelism - nothing notable.
Fellowship - Good, strong fellowship here. I have several like-minded men that are followers of Christ that I bump into throughout the week.
Scripture Memory - not currently focusing on this. Aim is to build prayer into a solid habit and then build this.
Quiet Time - My first half-hour in the morning is quiet time. I've allowed the phone to encroach and waste alot of that time before I lift. Key's to making sure QT happens successfully - have coffee made and timer set the night before, have the phone in the basement (that's my reward for a good QT is headed to the phone and the weights).
Hobbies - 8/10
  • Made it to BJJ twice this week. Going on 6 weeks now.
  • I've started a BJJ journal to keep a record of my progress and what I'm learning.
Mental - 8/10
  • I'm starting to journal in various forms. I'm leaning towards a physical journal for different areas or topics. I have a journal at my work desk, another for BJJ and my prayer habit tracker is turning into a prayer journal. I also carry small field notes book to jot down notes and mainly thoughts on the go.
  • Much, much better with anger. Probably one of the single biggest improvements I've made since starting OYS. Up there with my strength gains.
Physical - 7/10
  • I hurt. All over. But, I'm still cranking forward. Clean diet and good sleep will lead to recovery. I'm hoping my body starts acclimating to BJJ soon.
  • I believe I injured my AC joint, rotator or front deltoid in my shoulder. I'm pretty confident it was from committing three bench press sins simultaneously - (1) I let my elbows flare out, (2) I let the bar come too far forward in almost a guillotine press and (3) my grip was too wide. After watching an Athlean X video and a Buff Dudes video I tweaked my form. I went after a 1+ set on BP at 95% of training max and got it - 205 lb, a new PR. I concentrated on my new, proper form and was able to complete a good bench workout complete with a 5 x 10 pyramid down - without pain. I'm hoping regular ice and the upcoming de-load week will foster recovery. Getting arm barred at BJJ and drilling the hitch hiker escape didn't help matters.
  • I'm running 5/3/1 Boring But Big. After the standard 5/3/1 working sets, I'm doing a pyramid down of 5 x 10. I had planned on doing additional accessory work as well, but it seems that workout takes up all of my allotted time in the gym.
  • Weight is up too much this week. I had a weekend getway and ate a lot. I knew I would. It wasn’t a breakdown of will power. More like a planned cheat. Gotta live too.
  • I continue to be torn on when to cut. I like looking trim. But, I'm also gaining muscle and strength. Clothes will probably be the trigger. My jeans are starting to get tight. I’m two inches bigger in the waist than my thinnest a few months ago.
Sex - 3/10
  • No sex this week. I initiated twice. One was a a poor, low effort initiation right at bed time that resulted in a rejection. The other was at the tail end of shark week and I got a hand job. I playfully and dominantly tried to turn it into a blow job but was turned down.
  • I have to initiate more. This has always been a week area for me. I haven't been much for two reasons - probably a 50/50 split between the two - (1) I'm tired by bed time and (2) I know I'll get rejected. I have to push through the hurt of rejection, continue building the OI and initiate anyway.
  • Very lax with Stamena app. This is another habit I'm struggling to build.
  • I'm getting tempted to masturbate when I'm without sex for days to a week. But, I realize that's the easy way out. I need to game and flirt with my wife and then initiate in a confident and dominate way.
Finance - 8/10
  • Lot's of effort and time spent this week on reviewing business finances.
Parenting - 6/10
  • BJJ time with my son continues to be a blast. He's improving and I'm finding opportunities to teach him life and social skills as well.
  • Read the Bible to my daughter at bed time twice this week. She was very attentive and eager for it. I need to schedule one-on-one time with my daughter.
  • Sometimes the week to week small improvements hide the long term gains you’ve made. I realized this week that I’m more fully engaged with my family when I’m at home. I have the energy and the drive to be there for them. I used to be tired at night and sit on the recliner after dinner. In a few minutes, I’d be asleep.
Relationship - 7/10
  • I literally cannot remember the last time I had a date with my wife. I made arrangements and scheduled it on the calendar. I'm doing it because I want to spend time with my wife, see her in something sexy and have fun with her. No covert contracts.
  • As with other areas of my life, my cell phone is a big distraction. This is something I've struggled with since starting to Own My Sphere of influence. The phone lives in my basement when I'm home and is on silent on Sunday's.
Social - 8/10
  • I talk to and meet someone new at BJJ nearly every training session.
submitted by jw_mentions to jw_mentions [link] [comments]


2019.12.01 22:32 invrede I’m 20 and I make 16/hr in rural Ontario as an admin assistant

This is very late, but I just couldn’t find time to edit the formatting earlier in the week.
Here’s my last MD: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/new-york-ny-student-salary-money-diary
About
Age: 20
Occupation: Office Admin in Healthcare / Student on Leave
Salary: 16/hr at main job and 14-18/hr on side jobs
Location: Rural Ontario
Section One: Debts and Assets (in CAD)
Retirement Balance: $0 - I haven't opened an RRSP yet, and I won't till I'm done my undergrad
Savings: I have around 1000$ spread between regular savings accounts and my TFSA. At some point I want to figure out what my max contribution for my TFSA is, so I can max it then invest the balance each year.
Checking: around ~300, anymore is transferred to savings/debt repayment
Student Loan: just over 16k in OSAP for my undergrad so far. My parents pay most of my tuition but make me pay a portion to take responsibility for my education. OSAP is interest free until I'm out of school. I'm taking online courses during my leave so I don't have to start paying back my loan. My parents pay the tuition for that.
CC Debt: too much. It's much less than much than my student loan, and is mostly medical debt with a touch of reckless spending. If I asked my parents to pay it off for me they would but I don't want to seem irresponsible. (#priviledge)
Section Two: Income (CAD)
Monthly Take Home from Main Job: I expect around 2000 from my main job doing office admin at a clinic. I just started so I'm not sure yet.
Monthly Take Home from Side Jobs: between 200-500$/month depending on hours I coach.
Other Monthly Income: My parents send me 0-1000 each month. But for the past few it's been closer to 0 since I'm working.
No contributions to anything other than regular old income tax (most of which I get back come tax time).
Monthly Expenses (CAD/USD)
Phone Bill: 280 (this incl. both Canadian and American #’s; and my two younger brothers phone plans). I don’t know how I ended up paying for my brothers bills, but I don’t mind.
Rent: 0 - live at home
Groceries: 50 - random things my parents don't buy
Data Storage: 0.99 (iCloud in USD)
Gym Membership - 45
Therapy - 80 (more if it's a bad time in USD)
Chegg - 20 (cancelling after this month!)
Music Streaming - 25 (Spotify Family + YouTube Premium). I should/will at one point move to Spotify with the rest of my family and/or make them pay me back for Spotify Family.
NYTimes - 2.26
Annual Expenses
Amazon Prime - 100/year (Canada + US)
Costco - 60/year
New Yorker - 69.99/year (in USD)
LoseIt - 24.99/year (track my macros in USD)
Google One - 29.99/year (in USD)
Headspace 9.99/year (in USD)
Other Expenses
Personal Training: 200/6 sessions
Day 1
12 am - I just hopped out of the shower and I feel revitalized. I turn on an episode of How I Built This (Allbirds) and continue my bed time/post-showerroutine. Which is lotion with Vaseline Intensive Care Cocoa Radiant, put deep conditioner in my hair, and brush my teeth. Then, I take my medication and get into bed.
7 am - Alarm goes off (for those following, I started using alarms since starting this job to help the re-regulate my sleeping schedule) and I grab my phone and jump right back into bed. I think I may have over done the gym yesterday because my body is super tired (I have a neuromuscular disease that seems intent on ruining my life). I spend 10 minutes browsing and checking my email before getting out of bed.
7:15 am - By 10 minutes I meant 15. But I hop out of bed, get dressed, and head upstairs to pack my lunch. I’m a no make-up type of girl, so no complex detailed fact routines here. Just regular ol’ face wash and moisturize. I make a salad with cucumbers and turkey. I also pack a tangerine and more cucumbers as a snack. My mom also packed me a breakfast (oatmeal with blueberries) because I don't have time to eat it at home.
7:45 am - There's a little time left before I have to leave, so I sit in front of the fireplace to warm up.
7:55 am - My mom and I head out the door. She's driving me to work for now, until my dad's car is done at the shop. I smashed my dad's old car in a winter storm, so now it's mine until it dies! He decided to buy a used SUV to tide him over the next few years until he wants to buy a new vehicle.
8:05 am - My mom drops me off at the A&W by my office. My office doesn't open until 8:30 am, and I don't have keys or a code yet. So I loiter here until 8:30 every morning. As I wait I check an insurance claim I filed on concert tickets (I have to take a course this weekend, and haven't been able to sell them). They cost $400 and I really want that money back. (Post diary update: got that money back!!)
8:30 am - I walk to work, head to the lunch room and eat my breakfast as I watch SNL clips.
9 am - Time to work. I spend my morning making phone calls on phone calls on phone calls.
12:05 pm - I eat lunch in the break room with some of my coworkers, while chatting with them a bit.
1 pm - Back to work. More phone calls. Seriously all I did today was call patients.
5:00 pm - Our last two patients are in and I can finally take a breather. The office manager gives me some tax forms to fill out. My taxes are complicated because of me going to school in the US, working in both, investments abroad. And I think I need to invest in an accountant instead of getting reassessed by the CRA every year.
6:15 pm - My mom picks me up from work and my head to Walmart to get groceries. I pick up peanut m and ms, expensive cheese, and chips for myself. I also help my mom get some fruits. Mother pays.
7 pm - I cut up an apple, a pear, and cheese to snack on as I do a prospie interview. Along with alumni, current undergraduates to prospettive student interviews at my school, and it is my favorite thing. They are so many talented kids out there! It goes meh. Don't feel strongly either way.
7:50 pm - I do a mad dash upstairs for rice, turkey, and butternut squash soup to eat during interview #2.
8 pm - The interviews are done and honestly I want to curl up in bed and sleep. But, I decided to take online classes to structure my time (this was pre-full time job) which at the time was a good decision. But now - not so much. I head to the fire place and begin to work on an online quiz (i.e. shout out to public Quizlets and Chegg) as I watch The Man in the High Castle on the TV. Somewhere along the way I get a free pass to the Rosedale Club. I'll be in Toronto tomorrow and I still want to get my workout in.
9:45 pm - Online quiz done. I hold off on hitting submit though. And try and convince my friend that we should collaborate on our assignment but she is very anxious about academic dishonesty. I don't know if you can tell by my Chegg subscription but I play in the grey.
10 pm - A quick argument with my dad about how I buy stuff for my little brothers after they've said no (you know little things like an iPhone). I of course do the correct thing and don't comment, because there is no winning arguments with immigrant parents.
10:15 pm - With my lecture over, I head to bed. No shower tonight because I didn't workout. I call my brother for a bit (I'm visiting him tomorrow in Toronto) and we chat about our plans. I really can't afford this trip, but my neurologist is in Southern Ontario and I took a leave of absence to better deal with my neuromuscular disease. Eventually I should get refunded by the OHIP Travel Grant but that'll be in weeks.
10:40 pm - I throw in a tiny load of laundry (meant to do this earlier yikes!), Dual cleanse my face, take my medication, and then pack my stuff. I'm there for one night, a single sweater, workout stuff, and a change of undergarments should suffice.
11 pm - I put a load in the dryer, and the washer smells funky so I run a sanitize cycle on it. I go to bed contemplating whether I should go on a ski trip in Montreal in the winter. Pros = favourite people + skiing. Cons = can I afford a 600$ ski trip. (Post diary update: I booked the trip)
Total spending: 0.00
Day 2
6:30 am - Alarm goes off. I grab my phone and head back into bed, and inevitably fall back asleep.
7 am - No worries though, I'm woken up by pain. I check my email, and respond to some messages before getting out of bed.
7:15 am - It is so hard to get out of bed today. But I do it nonetheless. Then I moisturize my face (read too lazy to wash it), put on my uniform, finish packing and head upstairs.
7:40 am - I decide to eat my breakfast at home so I don't have to bring any dishes to work. It's oatmeal with blueberries. And it is so hard to eat. My stomach just isn't having it. I also force myself to eat an Italian sausage because I want to work out tonight so I'll definitely need the protein.
8:15 am - I get my mom to drop my right to work. And I listen to HBIT (Walker and Company) as I play Mario Kart Tour while I wait for the office to open.
8:40 am - Dr. I comes so I can wait inside for my shift to start. I play Mario kart and listen to HBIT as I wait in the break room.
9 am - Time to start work. As I walk to my desk I realize I forgot to take my medication. Which means a high pain day is ahead. Today is more phone calls on phone calls on phone calls.
12 pm - Lunch time and I'm hungry. On Wednesdays, the office pays for lunch from somewhere. Today, we order from a pizzeria and I get fish and chips since my stomach is wonky I don't want to eat too much gluten (because I'm very sensitive to that along with 76 other things). I eat the fries, but I don't like the fish / it's not appealing / I'm no longer hungry. Maybe I'm anxious for my doctor's appointment tomorrow? But I have them ALL the time and this one is fairly routine. Maybe it's just one of those days? Thanks for joining me in this anxiety spiral.
1 pm - Back to work. My computer gets super fussy in the afternoon, so I spent most of the time getting to know my new co-workers. I just started this job and I like it infinitely better than the other job I was working.
3:15 pm - My dad comes to picks me up, and we drive home. He officially says I'm getting his old car (which I got into a minor accident with so he decided it was time for him to buy a new one). He also says I get into too many car accidents (two MINOR ones in the last 6 months) So there's that.
3:40 pm - I'm home. So I sit in front of the fire place as my mom makes dinner and I watch the final episode of Bon Appetit's Making Perfect. And play Mario Kart.
4:00 pm - I say bye to my dad and I eat a light dinner of rice, butternut squash, and salmon, as I chat with my mom.
4:30 pm - We leave for the airport. My mom is worried about us being late, but little does she know that on time for me is arriving just before the boarding call.
5:15 pm - I arrive a whole 10 minutes before boarding (read: early). I breeze through security, and sit for a whole two minutes before boarding. Then I get on the plane find my seat (by myself in the back).
5:45 pm - I want nothing more than to fall asleep, but I have a statistics assignment due tonight, so I work for the whole flight.
7 pm - The plane lands, so I exit the airport and then wait for my brother. He pulls up and he's now a grown ass man??? When did this happen. We take the shuttle to Union and his restaurant of choice is Jack Astor's. For the meal I eat a 7 oz Sirloin steak with a house salad. It's delicious, though I only eat half of my steak because again stomach is not happy. I pay for both our meals (58.65). After the meal, we walk to Tim Hortons and he gets in his Lyft (I pay for it - ** 37.04 ) and I order a tea (~2**). I still need to finish my stats assignment, so I start working on that. Partway through I get the notification that I just maxed out my credit card (#yikes). It's not my fault I always forget my everyday card has a much much lower limit of my other card, and I forgot that I put my ski stuff on it.
10:30 pm - Alright, so. Took a detour but I'm done all my statistics work now. Made many phone calls to my friend S, who's also in the class. But I'm done. I head to a YMCA that is open till 12 to get a quick workout in.
11 pm - I wonder in literal circles before making my way down to the desk , finding the locker room, and hitting up the gym. I’m currently doing Stronglifts and its day B (squats, rows, bench). I listen to HBIT (Walker & Company + Luke's Lobster + Gimlet) as I workout.
12 am - And I'm done. I walk to my AirBnb and it makes me really miss New York.The aesthetic is great and one day when I have an apartment it'll look like this. I unpack my clothes (read gym stuff + different Roots sweater), take a quick shower, and then jump in bed. I set my alarm for 5 am, cry a little and try and sleep.
12:50 am - Wake up because I forgot my meds, then back to sleep.
Food + Drink: 60.65
Transportation: 37.04
Total spending: 97.69
Day 3
5:45 am - My alarm goes off and I don't feel that terrible (yay!). I get dressed and head out the door to walk towards the subway station. At the subway stop I put 20$ on my Presto card (20.25). Once I get to Union, I navigate through its construction filled halls to get to my VIA. I find my seat, get comfortable, and set an alarm for 20 minutes before my train arrives in London. My pain is getting irritatingly bad, so I hope that sleep helps.
9 am - The train ride was very uncomfortable and I'm still feeling real tired. So I take a little sit down in the train station. Then, I head to the London Public Library and grab a study room so I can have a private place for my therapy appointment.
10:30 - Therapy was okay, I’m currently working through the mess that was this past year, and it's hard to say the least. Afterwards, I watch the final episode of Bon Appetit's Making Perfect Thanksgiving as I play Mario Kart on my phone to de-compress.
11:30 - I leave the study room to print out a form I need in order to be reimbursed for my travel related expenses. Then, I grab a gluten free turkey sub at subway with plain Lays chips and iced tea. It’s terrible. (9.82)
12:00 pm - I walk in circles trying to figure out where and how to buy a ticket for the bus after learning it does not take Presto. I pay for 5 tickets (the minimum), and then wait for a bus to take me to the hospital for my appointment. (9.50)
1:00 pm - I register then head up to my appointment. I go over a L E N G T H Y history with the nurse practitioner because I haven't seen this neurologist since I went way from school. She does a full neuro exam and then steps out to chat with the neurologist. After a literal hour, she comes back in the neurologist and we discuss my current pain management plan and she recommends against me changing my treatment because it's working at the moment, even though I kind of want to try new things. No cost because this is Canada.
2:45 pm - I leave the hospital, and hop on the bus downtown. I walk to a burger place that is on the GF for me app and order a burger and fries. I'm not hungry but I need to eat something else today (16.27). Now that I'm done HBIT, I'm not sure what else to listen to in terms of podcasts. (Please drop any suggestions below?) After I get my burger I walk to the VIA station and read Monsey Diaries, listen to Planet Money, as I wait for the train.
3:50 pm - We board the train a little late. Once on, I eat my burger (its so so good!), listen to more Planet Money and then take a nap. After waking up from said nap, I watch The Man in the High Castle.
6 pm - I get off the train and head into Union Station. I'm supposed to meet up a friend, but I cancel because I realize my flight leaves earlier than I thought. I sit for a few minutes watching Last Week Tonight, before going to catch the airport shuttle.
7 pm - Finally at the airport and my best friend L dropped off the face of the earth in the middle of an important conversation. So I've been calling her non stop. Airport security in Toronto is never as easy as it is in my home town but I still get through with any major hiccups, and make it into the lounge 5 minutes before boarding (so on time).
8 pm - On the plane, I watch The Man in The High Castle (which is still very good, three seasons in) for the entire flight.
9 pm - We land to windy conditions, and to L still not answering the phone. My mom and dad pick me up from the airport, and we drive home together. We chat for a bit about my trip, before I head to my room and call L who unintentionally fell asleep on her couch.
11 pm - I've been chatting with L for hours, and in the mean time I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. We continue to talk until I fall asleep just before midnight.
Transportation: 29.75
Food + Drink: 26.09
Total spending: 55.84
Day 4
7 am - I'm so tired still, so back to bed it is.
7:30 am - I finally get out of bed, I think I may be fighting a depressive episode with my exhaustion this week. I get dressed, moisturize my face, and pack my breakfast (oatmeal) and lunch (salad with turkey + cucumbers with more cucumbers, apple, and cheese for a snack) and then my mom drives me to work.
8:30 am - One of the doctors comes fairly early so I don't have to wait outside for long. I head to the lunge and eat my oatmeal as I listen to NYTimes the Daily. After I'm done eating I play Mario Kart.
9 am - I get to work. The morning completely flies by.
12:15 pm - It's lunch time. I eat everything I packed and get to know my coworkers more. They comment on their negative financial situations and I feel like a fish of out water because although my debt load is high, it's easily dealt with if I wanted it to be (thanks mom and dad) and I never want for anything. Privilege smacks me dead in the face when I least expect it. I also realize that one of my coworkers was my best friends high school bully so big yikes.
1 pm - Work again and it's even busier than before. It passes by very quickly.
4 pm - Off work, I grab my things and wait for my dad. One of the doctors chastises me for not scheduling an emergency patient with her (she had no room in her schedule!). But she's not actually concerned she just wants those sweet sweet commissions. My dad picks me up and we drive home. He tells me put in an offer on another car, and that he really loves his old car so he might give me the new one.
4:30 pm - I get home and I eat really quickly (turkey stew + chapati) before heading to the pool where I'm taking a teaching course. I drive myself for the first time since my minor accident.
5 pm - The teaching course is long and boring.
7:15 pm - We break, and I bring my purse to my car before we head to the pool. My parents wallet was stolen here last week, and my iPad is in my purse and I can't afford to lose my second born child. (First born is my overpriced fossil watch obviously).
7:45 pm - Pool time. Equally as boring, but not as long.
9 pm - Class ends and I head home. I thought about hanging out with friends or going to the gym. But I'm so tired. So take a me night and drive home.
9:15 pm - I snack on half a chapati, and then head to my room and eat some chips and M+Ms. I lotion, take my medication, and then jump straight into bed watching The Man in the High Castle. I watch a few episodes before drifting to sleep.
Total spending: 0.00
Day 5
8 am - Alarm goes off, and I'm honestly startled by the amount of pain I'm in. I spend too much time in bed which makes me late for my course. On the way there, I stop by Tim Hortons for three hash browns. (5.40)
9:30 am - We are in the classroom and the pool. It's boring.
11:45 am - Break for lunch, so I drive to work to grab my headphones that I left there yesterday. I also stop by a bakery for lunch where I get a turkey sandwich with tomatoes, pepper, ham, cucumber, and lettuce and sub sauce. Plus a bag of chips and a diet Coke. (11.55) Then I drive back to the pool.
2:30 pm - We finish early so I head to the gym for a workout. At the gym, I do Stronglifts Day A, and finish up with a HIIT circuit. As I workout, I listen to Planet Money (which I think is my new podcast).
5 pm - I rush home to do a prospective student interview. In between interviews I grab some chapatis and soup to eat.
9 pm - All done my interviews, my best friend L comes over because she needs to go see a doctor, but she doesn't have a family doctor. I take a shower, and then we head to the ER because there's no walk in clinic in my town. At the hospital we just chat and catch up. As we're waiting I SHATTER my phone screen and cry a bit because I bought this phone less than six months ago, and I'm in no position to buy a new one. I look up phones online and decide to get a Pixel 3A on black friday.
2 am - We get out not even that late. She drops me off at home, and I head straight for bed.
3 am - I forgot my medication, so I get out of that to go take it when I see that someone texted me. It’s one of my good friends from school so I grab my phone head to bed and chat with her for about an hour.
Food + Drink: 16.95
Total spending: 16.95
Day 6
1 pm - I'm awake. I head upstairs and make banana blueberry pancakes and poach two eggs. I eat them with this seasons maple syrup. As I eat I watch The Man in The High Castle.
2 pm - Back to bed, because apparently it's just one of those days. My hands are having a lot of weakness and I'm not ready to work through it yet.
4 pm - I get out of bed because I have another prospective student interview.
5 pm - My interviewee for 5, doesn't answer their Skype so I clean my room and put a load of laundry in. Then I go upstairs and grab some snacks (two apples, a pear, slices of cheese, and some salami). I come downstairs and chat with my younger brother for a bit and he asks me to send him some money so he can buy headphones (50). I'm a sucker for gifts so I oblige.
6 pm - Another interview. This one is short and sweet. Afterwards, I read a Money Diary before calling my next interviewee.
7:30 pm - Interview done. I head upstairs and eat some salmon (yup just salmon I need some protein) and then come back downstairs to do my physics homework. I do it as I watch The Man in the High Castle.
9;30 pm - Still working. But I did take a break to find out if I can repair my phone screen (I can!). So I schedule an appointment at a repair store for when I'm in Toronto on Tuesday. I also decide to make a list of all the things I want to buy. My plan is to let myself buy one thing every month, instead of whenever I feel like, so I can curb my hypomanic spending.
10 pm - I call my friend, O, who I’m visiting later this week. We chat for about an hour working out logistics and catching up.
11 pm - Back to the slog. I complete the rest of my assignments for the semester and start on my interview reports.
12 am - I'm trying to keep a stricter bed time because in the past that has helped regulate my mood. But I slept all day so I'm not tired. I take my meds and then brush my teeth take my clothes out of the dryer before hoping into bed. I roll around for a while before falling asleep.
Other: 50.00
Total spending: 50.00
Day 6
7 am - I wake up slightly before my alarm. I listen to NYTimes The Daily as I get dressed. I wash my face and moisturize. I pack the usual (salad with turkey + cucumber, apple with cheese, and more cucumber). Then, head upstairs to eat breakfast (oatmeal with blueberries). I also have time to brush my teeth after breakfast!!
8 am - My mom drops me off near my office where I hangout for a few minutes before walking to work. I browse Reddit and read the NYtimes as I listen to the Good Place podcast.
12:00 pm - I speed eat my lunch, because in taking half my lunch break later in the afternoon because I have a doctor's appointment later in the afternoon.
12:30 pm - Back at my desk, and the afternoon is SLOW. I spend a lot of time texting L who is in crisis. (It’s a trend)
3:50 pm - I leave my office and speed walk to my doctor's office which is a couple blocks away. I also buy a Herschel tote on sale (I've been carrying my gym and second job stuff in a Roots reusable bags and it's NOT working). (67.79)
4: 00 pm - I had a long list of things to tell my doctor and I decide not to because problems aren't real unless you talk about them. That how it works, right?
4:30 pm - I walk back to work, and then get back to work. It's still super slow but I don't mind.
5:30 pm - Off work and L picks me up. She needs an impromptu dinner out because of said crisis. We head to our favourite burger place where I get a burger with jalapenos, cheese, tomatoes and lettuce with fries. It's delicious. No tip (@me if you'd like). (15.76)
7 pm - We drive to the pharmacy where she picks up her prescription. I was going to pick up my Gardasil vaccination but it costs 200$ without a prescription, so I put a hold on that. (It’s only covered by OHIP when you’re in high school weirdly enough).
8 pm - We both head to the gym together. We have joint personal training sessions and our trainer works us hard. I hit a couple PRs in my OP, DL, and Clean & Jerk.
10 pm - Done at the gym, she drives me home where I chat with my parents a bit. I buy my brother his birthday gift (iPad + pencil + case). It comes to the 400$ (thanks Black Friday) but my mom will pay me back so I won’t count it in my expenses. I paid because of those sweet sweet 5% back on Amazon purchases.
11 pm - I loiter in my room watching The Man in the High Castle as I assemble my Jonas Brothers setlist playlist for tomorrow. Then, I clean my room, pack my stuff, do a long shower (deep condition hair, dual wash fact + shave), lotion, and brush my teeth. As I jam out. This is my first concert I'm SO excited.
1 am - I set my alarm for 5 am (RIP) and sleep.
Food + Drink: 15.76
Clothes + Beauty: 67.79
Total spending: 83.55
Day 7
4 am - I jolt awake and grab my phone and browse the interwebs as I lay in bed.
4:45 am - I get out of bed, get dressed, and pack my last few things. Before I head out I eat a small piece of salmon to tide me over until breakfast. Then I get into the car with my dad and head to the airport.
5:45 am - I sneak through check-in because I don't want them to weigh my carry-on. When I go through security, theydon't make me dump my water bottle because it's that small of an airport/town. At the airport I switch my phone plan to an unlimited data one (Google Fi) because my bill had been over the 80$ that the unlimited one costs.
7 am - I sleep the entire flight. And once I land I immediately head to a diner to meet my friend N. We worked together two years ago and she goes to school in Toronto. I get two eggs, GF sausage, rye (I know) and hash browns. It's mediocre. Then I drop off my luggage at her dorm and walk aimlessly trying to find a quiet private place to call my therapist. (15.55)
9:30 am - I decide to move my appointment, and then head to a cellphone repair shop for my shattered screen. This is going to be an expensive month. I take a subway on the way there. (Presto is preloaded)
10:30 am - They were out of stock for my screen, so I tell them I go to a different location. I take the subway back to my friends dorm grab my stuff and then head to Union via subway to catch the bus to Hamilton. On my way I buy Nibs at the Dollar store (1.70). I listen to NYTimes The Daily as I travel.
11:45 am - I’m currently waiting at the bus station and I'm having such a high pain day. I'm hoping that napping on the way to Hamilton will help. The bus comes and the Presto machine isn’t working, which means a free ride (yay!).
12:45 pm - I get off the bus on the wrong stop. No worries because I hop on a city bus to Mac.
1:30 pm - I arrive on campus and head up to O’s room. She heading off to class, so I watch the latest episode of Survivor and then nap.
3:30 pm - She comes back from class, and we prep for the concert then head out. We grab some fish tacos from the dining hall (she pays) and then hop on a GO bus back to Toronto. I reload 50$ on my Presto card. We switch from a bus to train for the rest at the way at some point. I watch Bon Appetit videos along the way.
6 pm - We get off the bus and head to Scotiabank Arena. We go through security and find our seats for the concert. To keep it short Jordan McGraw sucked. Bebe Rehxa slapped. And the Jonas Brothers were so so so good. Like looked into where they are playing next to see if I could catch another show good.
11 pm - We take a subway to the Eaton Center so we can get a post-concert dessert. I get a lava cake + a sangria. She pays for the desserts and I pay for my sangria (7.00). Then we begin the trek back to Hamilton.
Transportation: 50.00
Food + Drinks: 24.25
Total spending: 74.25
—- Total Food + Drink: 159.25
Total Transportation: 116.79
Total Other: 50.00
Total Clothes + Beauty: 67.79
Total Home + Health: 0.00
Total Entertainment: 0.00
Grand Total: 393.83
Diary Reflection
This week contained a little more spending on food and transportation, because I was out of town a lot. Usually, I go out to eat maybe once per week. Also, I don’t tip in restaurants at home, because they make a whole 14/hour plus tips and all the servers are students. They don’t need my money. But I re-read my last diary and I am doing so much better now mentally and physically so yay me!
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2019.10.11 21:58 PibbleLove43 I'm 33 years old, live in Buffalo, NY, and make $50,000/year in higher education.

(Sorry for the early post, but my home computer is wonky, and I didn't want to run the risk of issues trying to post on my phone tomorrow!).
Title: I am 33 years old, I make $50,000/year and live in Buffalo and work in higher education. I submitted my first money diary back in early June, so here’s a 4 month progress report!
Caveat: I’m still super boring lol.
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance (and how you got there): ~$21,800 (up from ~21,000)
A small uptick since my last diary, but again, not a huge focus for me right now as I’m paying off my debt! I did start contributing a small amount (3%) to our voluntary retirement fund. Once I’m at my F/T job for a year, my employer contributes 7% to a separate account. This amount also includes a wee little Stash retirement balance too.
Savings account balance: $1067.96 (up from $1,013.35)
No dedicated contributions, but the increase is a combination of cashback rewards, interest, and about $20 from a previous joint account with my ex.
Checking account balance: $734.92 (at the beginning of the MD)
Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it): $17,232 (down from $19,556). Progress!
Student loan debt (for what degree): Current remaining balance is $19,885.37 (down from $23,645.37 (combined loans for undergraduate and graduate degrees in International Relations. To give you an idea of how much I’ve paid off - I’ve paid $98,688.86 off up to this point). I successfully paid off one of the loans since last time! WOOOO!
(Side note - WOW. Progress! Including the interest (gross) I’ve paid $8,647.95, which includes $2,802.79 in extra debt snowball payments. Hurray for YNAB and reports. Keep on keeping on!)
Section Two: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $2950.23
My HSA and dental/vision kicks in after 6 months, so this will go down slightly in the future.
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: Avg. $500/month
Still working that side gig at Orangetheory! Starting the process of becoming a coach as well, so that’s going to be awesome! I currently average 10-15 hours per week.
Any Other Monthly Income Here: As part of my pending (update: completed!) divorce agreement, I get $800/month from my ex (long story short, he’s active duty military and we lived overseas, and this is a portion of the money he gets for having a spouse).
Update: this is likely the last month of this - just waiting for the official decree, but *fingers crossed*, it should be this month.
**Update to the Update from the start of the week. Officially divorced! Going forward our agreement states that he will contribute a certain amount towards the remaining CC debt until ½ is paid - this will work out to a total of $284/month, which I will allocate towards their respective CCs. Basically this will mean a faster debt payoff. Woo!
(Side note: Increased my OTF hours on average, which means extra $. This week I also interviewed for a seasonal retail job as well, with the goal of putting any money from that towards debt)
Section Three: Expenses
Rent / Mortgage $946.00/month (+ $3.95 service charge when I pay online) - this includes all utilities. (My little apartment is just perfect - plus it’s finally starting to look like someone actually lives there!)
Retirement contribution: $40.00/month (I put in $10/week into a Stash Retire just to feel like I’m at least doing something - current balance is $340.95 up from $167.82)
Savings contribution: $0/month (Debt payments are the priority)
Investment contribution: None - I cashed out my Stash Invest at around $300 to put towards debt. I’ll likely restart this, or other investments once I work my way through those baby steps!)
Health/Dental/Vision Insurance: $70.50/month (Through work, it gets taken out biweekly)
Debt payments
Ahem…
Student Loan minimums: $803.43 (I paid off one student loan since the last MD, but rolled that minimum into the next lowest student loan minimum payment - DEBT SNOWBALL Y’ALL)
Credit Card minimums: $565.00
Debt Snowball Target: My target for my debt snowball is an extra $1000/month. This will go towards the highest interest rate credit card, with a goal of paying it off in under 9 months. Update: I don’t think I’ll make that 9 month goal (March 2020) but I’m going to try to get as close as I can! If I have over this amount at the end of the month, I’ll put that amount onto my lowest student loan. I was so close on paying off that student loan that with my “extra” August paycheck, I just did. Back to CC focus now! YNAB tells me that I’ve averaged $560.56 extra each month on my debt payments. January is the next upcoming "unicorn" paycheck month!
Wifi/Cable/Landline: $49.99/month
Cellphone: Still on the parental plan
Subscriptions: Apple storage - $2.99/month; Netlfix - $8.99; YouTubeTV - $49.99 (I *finally* bought myself a little smart TV for my apartment when my laptop decided it no longer wanted to work)
Laundry (if you pay per load): $0/month (included in my rent)
Gym membership $60/month - I get free OTF classes for working there, so I budget this much for my ROMWOD and Movement Vault monthly subscriptions (mobility and flexibility daily routines cause getting old blows), as well as for trying an extra class every so often. Increased a bit to account for some race entries!
Pet expenses: $100/month - includes pet insurance. This is what I put into my budget for insurance, food, grooming etc.) Pet insurance went up a bit - downside of the pup getting older.
Car payment / insurance / average gas: I budget approximately $150.00/month (it’s a fully paid off car that my parents are letting me use - they are also currently covering insurance - seriously - they’re the best. Hands up for the early 2000s Subaru wagon!). I don’t plan on driving as much going forward, so this money will also cover metro passes.(Subaru wagon still going strong. Not taking the metro nearly as much, only because since I work work #2 right after work #1 and/or work out before work, it makes way more sense to drive)
Renter insurance: $13.50/month (went down $1)
Average groceries / household supply spend; My grocery budget is $250/month - approximately $75/week. I still hold pretty true to this. Aldi is my BFF.
Regular therapy: I currently use Headspace for both meditation and sleep help - 12.99/month, but I plan on finding a regular therapist once my insurance all kicks in. (Still haven’t got around to finding a regular therapist, but Headspace is still a standard!)
Charitable Giving: Unfortunately I’m not in the position to regularly give, but I do try to give to my alma mater during their Day of Giving. I can’t wait until I’m in a financial place to be able to regularly give.
Annual Expenses:
YNAB (You Need A Budget): $83.99/year
Day 1: Thursday
4:45am: Wake up 15 minutes before my alarm….cause….who knows. I’m taking a morning OTF class, but I also need to fill up the car and I want to do an inbody scan before class, so it all works. This means I have time to do a quick 5 minute Headspace, make coffee, grab a Perfect Bar (I eat about ½ before class), and take the pooch out to do his business.
On the way to class, I stop to fill up with gas. ($35.00). I do my Inbody scan before class - and just as I hoped, I’ve been maintaining well! I’m not focusing (at all really) on a cut or a mass. I kind of wanted to see if my “fighting weight” was honestly where I naturally fall. And it sure looks like it! I do these every 3 months, just to get an idea of where I am.
7:45am: Class completed (endurance day…..and a run to row...oooof!), I shower at the gym, and make the quick drive (less than 10 minutes) to work. At work, I heat up my prepped breakfast sandwich and have that with coffee and a banana for breakfast. This has been my breakfast all week. I put on the usual morning podcasts and settle into work. At some point in the morning I eat the other half of my perfect bar.
12:00pm: Time to scoot home to let the dog out! It’s about 15-20 minutes each way, so it’s way more time to get there and back than I actually spend at home, but it at least means I get some quick pup snuggles and he doesn’t have to hold it all day!
1:00pm: Back from the pooch run and time for lunch. This week it’s been a vegetarian chili that I made on Sunday (and has lasted me nearly the whole week). I have that with a small toasted naan and a kombucha.
5:00pm: Time to head out! Since I don’t have to work both jobs today, I like to stick around at work for a little bit longer than usual. Home, pooch out - and we actually take a little walk around the block (he’s nearly 10 and very old man-ish lately. He’s not a huge fan of other dogs and some people are suspect, so we try to avoid stressful situations where he feels nervous. - Now if that’s not an accurate description of myself, I’m not sure what is!). After our walk, I start dinner. I put chicken and sweet potatoes in the oven and end up making a taco-ish salad. Salad, chicken, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, avocado, cheese, with a tortilla - yum, and plenty of leftovers! I’ve started watching the first season of American Horror Story because I never watched that one and before I know it, it’s after 9pm. Oops.
9:15pm: Wash the dishes, wash my face, and do a ROMWOD routine. Pop a melatonin, turn on Headspace (the “goodnight” track), and the pooch and I snuggle.
Daily Spend: $35.00
Day 2: Friday
5:15am: Up and at ‘em for the 6:15am OTF class. Make coffee, take out the dog, grab a Perfect bar (I’m nothing if not a creature of habit), and head out! Class is a strength day and since I can feel some aches from running in bad shoes (I just ordered new ones though!), I decide to power walk. Shower and then off to work!
8:15am: Another breakfast sandwich, banana, and coffee :) I go into YNAB, approve transactions and do my monthly credit score check. Experian has me up 23 points, and Transunion has me up 63 points! Woo! My Experian score is finally nearly fully recovered after a late payment last year. Woof.
1:00pm: Back from the lunchtime pup run. I also stopped at a local bakery and got 2 super decorated football themed sugar cookies and an almond scone. ($11.50). I have been trying to make Friday the day that I buy something “fun”. Last week it was avocado toast and a cappuccino at a local coffee shop, today it’s an afternoon coffee snack and cookies to munch on during Sunday’s game. I also accounted for this in my YNAB budget - this week I was able to set aside around $25 for “fun” money. If you’re super focused on debt payoff, I truly recommend doing this. Even if it’s only $5. It helps me stay focused throughout the week knowing that I get to have a little treat.
4:30pm: Time to head out! I head home, take the pooch out, and get ready for an event that my friend is running for her job. The event starts at 6:30pm. I already bought my ticket, which includes activites, food, and drinks (I stick to the non-boozy versions - #soberoctober). At the event I buy 3 sheets of tickets for the basket raffles ($10.00). The food is awesome and I have make your own pho, mexican street corn, thai wraps, and build your own cannoli. Yum.
10:00pm: So social! I wrap up at the event (alas, no basket wins…:( ). Home, take the pooch out quickly. Wash face, brush teeth, pop a melatonin and fall asleep by 10:30.
Daily Spend: $21.50
Day 3: Saturday
7:15am: No sleeping in today! Working an event for my OTF job - a Brewery Burn! It’s our 2nd one, so we’ve got a pretty solid idea of how it runs. I make some coffee and a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, and mushrooms with a toasted naan.
9:00am: Get set up for the event. I’m on social media duty, so I spend a lot of the time doing IG stories and posts. The event starts at 11:00am. After the event is done, I use my free drink ticket for a pint of Saranac Root Beer on tap. Yummy.
1:30pm: Whew, done. I’m pooped. I head back home, and take the pooch out for a nice long walk. Working so much (debt snowball, man. I am determined to pay those off), means that I feel a HUGE amount of guilt with the pooch sometimes. Luckily he’s a SUPER lazy old man. We do really well on our walk and he spends the rest of the afternoon snoozing. I throw in 3 loads of laundry and clean the apartment. I missed my usual weekly clean last week Sunday, so it definitely needs it! I heat up the last bit of veggie chili that I make earlier in the week with cheese and toasted naan as a late lunch/dinner.
6:00pm: I decide to go and get my groceries tonight, that way Sunday can be a whole family day. I have a car load of stuff from the OTF event, so I drop it off at our studio on my way to get groceries. My first stop is Target (batteries, micellar water, 2 candles, dog treats, and Spindrift sparkling water (for my mom) - $40.27). Next stop is Aldi (english muffins, salad, chicken sausage, apples, canned tomatoes, canned beans, meatballs, eggs, coffee creamer, and frozen veggies, and little bunch of fresh flowers - $31.92).
9:30pm: After getting home and putting away groceries, I watch this week’s episode of Great British Baking Show, stretch, wash my face, and head to bed!
Daily Spend: $72.19
Day 4: Sunday
8:00am: Sleep, glorious sleep. The pooch, who also enjoys sleeping, is still ready for his morning pee break, so we do that and a quick walk around the block. Breakfast is coffee (obvs), a pumpkin bagel, one half with pumpkin cream cheese and TJ’s pumpkin butter (yummmm - don’t judge), and one half topped with an egg. Pooch and I snuggle while I read some more of my book (The Goldfinch).
10:30am: After another quick pee break for the pooch, I head over to the mall for a group interview for a seasonal job. (Do I really have time for a 3rd job? Debatable). It’s a great group for an interview, which is awesome. I leave feeling pretty good, so hopefully I can really smash out the rest of this debt. Coffee is going to be my friend. Interview ends around noon, and then I head up to my parents’ house - Sunday is usually family brunch day, but since I had the interview, I’m going up later and hanging out for the rest of the afternoon.
6:30pm: Home again, home again! Pooch out and fed, and I make myself a salad with chicken, tomatoes, salsa, and cheese and watch football for the rest of the evening. I drink a kombucha and enjoy my pupper snuggles. I meal prep veggie chili and breakfast sandwiches for the week. I also get my gym bag packed for tomorrow and pack my lunch. I find that if I get everything laid out and ready the night before, I feel much more comfortable
9:15pm: Evening routine: wash face, brush teeth, stretch and Headspace.
Daily Spend: $0.00
Day 5: Monday
5:15am: Early morning wake up for a morning class at Orangetheory. Usual pre-workout morning - pooch out, pooch fed, ½ a perfect bar, iced coffee and I’m out the door!
8:00am: Whew….that class was HARD. But breaking in my new running shoes was awesome! Shower at the gym, and off to work! I get to work, heat up my prepped breakfast sandwich, make coffee and get to work.
10:15am: Mid morning snack - apple and the other half of my perfect bar from earlier.
11:15am: Hot tea (cranberry apple) from the office stash as I’m cold! (I love fall though, so I’m not even mad, just chilly). I also register for an upcoming 5k road race ($28.25).
1:00pm: Back from the lunchtime pooch run. I heat up my veggie chili, and toast a naan in the toaster oven. I crack open a kombucha for the afternoon (ginger flavor - so yummy!). I won a free case from a local kombucha place, plus they were also having a sale on older bottles, so….I have a lot of kombucha right now.
4:30pm: Head out from work and over to my massage and cupping appointment. While I am super focused on debt payoff, I’m trying to remember to take care of myself as well. We focus on just my upper body and my shoulders are soooo crunchy. She does such a phenomenal job and it’s money well spent for both my physical and mental health, so I make sure that I budget for it. The hour long appointment is $75.00 and I tip 25% ($93.75).
6:30pm: Home, take the dog out, feed the dog. Dinner is some frozen shrimp and stir fry veggies over ramen noodles (no flavor packet). I put on Jeopardy and have a La Croix with the dog happily snuggled up next to me. Afterwards I finish an episode of AHS Season 1, and then put on Monday Night Football in the background as I wash my dishes and pack up my gym bag and lunch for tomorrow. I have approximately 20 shows that I know I want to start, but it’s so easy to just throw on something that I’m not really paying attention to. Goal list for this week: Finish season 1 of AHS.
9:15pm: The usual evening routine: wash face, brush teeth, stretch and Headspace. I’m asleep by 10:00pm.
Daily Spend: $122.00
Day 6: Tuesday
5:15am: Yep, early morning wake up again. Standard morning routine of dog out, dog fed, ½ perfect bar, but hot coffee this morning!
7:45am: Got to get right in the shower after class this morning! And my momma was in the class after me, so I got to see her quickly! Yay! I stop at the gas station to get a little bit of gas since my light came on ($20.00). Get to work, breakfast sandwich heated up, coffee made, podcasts on.
10:30am: Slooooow day here. A co-worker asked me yesterday where I saw myself going career wise, and I honestly didn’t know. I love working at OTF and am really excited to coach. It would be such a dream to be coaching/working in the fitness space full time. But on the practical side, I still have a lot of debt left to pay off. And having insurance and a really good retirement are also considerations. Augh, a small existential crisis as I write out my budget for Thursdays payday. I have the other half of my perfect bar (coconut peanut butter) while seeing how much more I can put towards debts this month.
1:00pm: Back from the pooch walk/lunch and my mom calls to tell me I got a package at their house…..aaaaaand….I’M OFFICIALLY DIVORCED! Sigh. Huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I feel like I can actually draw a line under that chapter and truly move to the next phase of my life. I heat up my veggie chili, topped with avocado, and have a La Croix.
3:00pm: I crack open my carrots, celery, and hummus.
4:30pm: Time for job #2. And what a busy shift it is! I sell a couple of memberships (yesss commissions) and completely forget to eat the snacks that I’ve packed
8:30pm: Done at work. I head home and chat with mom on the drive. Once I get home, I take the dog out, get him his food (on days that I work both jobs, I make sure he gets breakfast, lunch, and dinner so he’s not starving by the time I get home!). I make dinner (roasted chicken sausage, sweet potatoes, and carrots), crack open a kombucha, finish watching the last episode of AHS: Murder House (goal achieved!) and the first episode of the new season of Big Mouth. Then the usual teeth brushing and face washing (no stretching tonight) and I’m in bed by around 10:30pm.
Daily Spend: $20.00
Day 7: Wednesday
6:15am: Rest day means a sort of a sleep in? (Is this what your mid thirties are? Considering 6:15am sleeping in?). I should do my meditation and mobilizing/stretching….but instead I take the pooch out and feed him, make coffee, and we just snuggle on the couch for a little bit. Then I shower, get ready (hoping that this week’s paycheck will have enough fun money for a little Sephora run), and head off to work.
8:00am: Work, breakfast sandwich, podcasts.
11:00am: Full morning of meetings. Apple and kombucha (the rest of my one from last night actually) for a snack.
12:00pm: Home to let the pooch out. It is a glorious WNY fall day today and I love the crunchy leaves! I reluctantly talk myself out of stopping at my local bakery again for a pumpkin cupcake. Next I have to drop off a package for work downtown - I have to pay for street parking ($0.35 for 20 minutes - but it comes out of the money I already have loaded on the app - so really $0). By the time I get back to my desk, it’s 2:00pm and I am starving! Heat up (you guessed it, veggie chili) my lunch and toss a tortilla in the toaster oven (I’m out of naan - hurray for payday being tomorrow). Catch up on emails, and update various proposals. Background noise from podcasts - Stuff You Missed in History Class, assorted NPR productions, Can He Do That?, Stuff You Should Know…
5:15pm: Head home from work. Once I get home, I take the dog out for his afternoon walk and sniff of the general area. He does so well and pays attention when other dogs go past (only a single alert bark, and then pays attention! Hurray!). Back home, he gets fed, and I start dinner. Meatballs and sauce, along with garlic bread (2 pieces, cause nom). No 2nd work tonight means a solid binge session of Big Mouth Season 3.
9:00pm: The nightly routine. Brush teeth, face wash, and stretching with ROMWOD. Pooch goes out one more time and then we snuggle in bed to the dulcet Scottish tones of “Loch Dormant” in Headspace sleepcasts. I basically go back and forth between that one and “Slow Train” because of the accents.
Daily Spend: $0
Weekly Total: $270.69
Reflections:
Wow, an unexpectedly dramatic bit to that week. I definitely wasn’t expecting to get my final divorce decree this week!
As I said at the beginning, I’m super boring day to day. However, I am really happy that I was able to support my friend’s event and actually feel like I was sociable! I also love being able to spend time with my family and am glad that I get the opportunity to do every week.
It was also a fairly light MD week in terms of my side hustle. This upcoming week is a whole lot busier - more hours means more $$ towards that debt though. Still haven’t heard if I got the 3rd seasonal gig, but again, all of that would be going towards debt payments. I cannot wait. I was excited to see the collective progress though when I did the comparison - sometimes it’s easy to get a bit defeated until you see the progress!
I like this every 4 month update! I’ll try to remember to sign up for another one in Feb 2020 to let you guys know how I’m going!
The pooch and I say thank you for reading and let us know if you have questions!
submitted by PibbleLove43 to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2019.09.18 12:27 damondan MY LIFE IS AN UTTER MESS! please make it stop

tl;dr
this post has gotten A LOT longer than I had anticipated, but I somehow got carried away. I will try to sum it up somehow.
I am a 26 year old male from europe and I feel as if my life has been an utter mess so far.
I have struggled through school and life, failed 2 classes, finally graduated and did not know what to do with my life.
after some more struggles I finally decided I wanted to become a therapist for children and teenagers and thus I knew I'd have to study "social work" aka "social education", add a masters and then do a 3 year apprenticeship. so 8 years in total.
I finally started college at the age of 23, move to a huge, ugly city, far away from home, lived alone, had a good time for a while, but it got wore gradually until I finally broke down completely.
I have been struggling with mental issues my entire life: anxiety, depression, suicidal ideations. all of them have gotten worse over time. I believe to have suffered from depression as far back as being a child and I had my first suicidal thoughts when I was about 8.
I always felt weird, off, like an alien on another planet. I have always been highly sensitive, emotional, full of creativity, and the feeling that something "grand is supposed to happen". I don't exactly know how to describe it, but since I also dreamed very vividly ever since, there has also been this one dream in which a gathering of powerful "entities" stoof in front of me an so to speak decided that I was supposed to...to what? I don't know if that makes any sense. well, I guess I have always felt there has to be more to this life. but I never knew what and I grew frustrated more and more, realizing, that I couldn't even cope with the basics of living, let alone achieving anything memorable in this lifetime.

anyway. since I have always been struggling through school, never really learned, never did my homework, always flew under the radar, smart enough to barely make it but just not capable or motivated? enough to achieve anything. I hated school.
my mother was concerned, so to make a long story short I have been diagnosed with ADHD at the age of around 8 or 9. must have been 2001 back then. they prescribed me meds right away ( I do not recall which substance , which dosage or how long) but I do recall that I did not like it due to the sideffects. they made me nauseous and just didn't feel right. so we stopped. I got worse and worse in school, so we tried meds again at the age of 14. I had to stop because they took their tool on my liver, but my mother said, that I did a lot better in school back then. so again no more medication. the issues got worse, I grew more anxious, frustrated and depressed and finally had to switch school.
also my father had left us when I was 5 years old and basically vanished. I had a stepfather instead. both my mother and my stepfather hated themselves, each other and let it all out on me, abused me emotionally for over 15 years. it was NOT a good place/environment to grow up in.
nontheless my mother always took care for me and supports me to this day. she is very dominant and basically raised me to be dependent on others. it is a weird love/hate relationship...

by then at the age of 17 was the first time I recall that I was very obviously depressed. I had been for years, but back then was the first time I just started crying in the middle of the day out of nowhere.
I sought for help, found a therapist, she told me that this would me normal for my age and prescribed me antidepressants right away. I took them hesitantly, and I didn't take them properly (not daily, sometimes more, sometimes less). stupid, I know, but I didn't know much back then.
so that was my attempt at therapy then.
I got into a bad relationship, got worse in school, started smoking cannabis and finally graduated at the age of 20 with a very bad GPA. now already severly depressed and NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.
I fell into a deep whole, burdened with the lack of structure and the question what to do next.
I decided to go abroad for a year, live with relatives in the US. I went and it was the most horrible time. my girlfriend of almost 4 years couldn't stand me being so far away for so long. she cheated on me and broke up with me. my grandmother of 4 years (who I loved dearly) died of cancer after 4 years of therapy. I couldn't even attend her funeral. I was severely depressed and suicidal. I couldn't take it any longer and decided do cancel my plans of being abroad for a year and came back after only 4 months. I failed.

I ended up in a psychosomatic clinic, for 12 weeks which helped to some extend. I starte with antidepressants which I took for 4 year. my diagnosed ADHD had been ignored consequently by the doctors and by myself.
after that I decided I finally wanted so start! go to college live my life and reach my goal of becoming a therapist!

college declined me because of my shitty GPA, I had to wait yet another year and finally started studying at the age of 23! I was so excited and happy to finally start a new chapter, leave the old stuff behind!
I moved to a city far away from home. home is a small town in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by beautiful nature.
college was in a huge, dense city with over half a million people and 10 million people surrounding. loud, fast, cold and ugly. I hated the city from the first day but I gave it a try.

I moved into my own little apartment, loved it at first, even though it was very very small. I fell in love with literally the girl next door, which was doomed to fail but I got into a relationship nonetheless.
ah this isn't much of a summary, is it? ok.
I started college, I fucked up, I ended up being severely depressed and suicidal. I still am and my life is in shambles. I don't know where to go or what to do and I hate myself.
I finally realized that I might indeed have ADHD! duh. and now I am afraid that it is already too late to turn my life around but I will try nontheless.
I tried ADHD medication once again about 2 weeks ago. I tried Vyvanse (15mg daily) and I did indeed notice some very remarkable effects. so THIS is how it is to have a "normal" brain! it was such a relieve!!!
BUT the sideffects were horrible (see below) and I grew more anxious and depressed every single day, so I stopped it again. I finally found something that seemed to work, but I just could not handle it.

now I am sitting here. 26 years old. full of pain and remorse, in a degree I don't know what to do with once I am finished.
I hate myself. I am so afraid of life.
after I had been to clinics this year again I decided to transfer to a college near my hometown. I guess I'd feel better here. but I am so afraid.

but I WANT TO LIVE! just HOW? which career do I want to pursue? what is wrong with me? do I actually have ADHD? what may help? which meds?
ok I'll try to update this tl;dr tonight. my brain is fried right now, sorry.
thanks for any reply and take care!


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this is my first post and I guess I just need to vent somehow.
so, I am a 26 yeard old male from europe, who has suffered from depression and anxiety what feels like all my life but really noticable since I've been about 17 years old. I got diagnosed with depression at the age of 18 and somehow tried to get better since then. it has actually gotten better sometimes, but not really and now the last 2 years have been absolute hell.
I have struggled through school my entire life, I failed 2 classes, had to switch schools and finally graduated with some horrible grades at the age of 20. by then I was already in a full blown major depressive episode, which I sadly didn't really identify as such. aside from my issues in school and social life I also had a very hard upbringing, my father leaving basically vanishing when I was 5 and my mother and stepfather emotionally abusing me for years and years. I've always been insanely anxious, selfconscious, had low selfesteem, no selfworth, no nothing. I had my first suicidal thoughts when I was about 8 years old.
at the same time I always had the feeling that something was off about me. that I'm not actually stupid, that I do have potential, that there is something I am supposed to do. I always wanted so much from life, I wanted to be acknowledged, wanted to make a difference, wanted to make people laugh and smile, I wanted to truly live and enjoy life. I never understood just how grey and bitter so many grownups were, never understood how people seemed to waste their life away with dead-end 9-5 jobs which they obviously hated just to get home to a relationship they hate and subsequently ruining their health, killing their spark and in the end just die. I never understood school, the endless rehearsing, repeating, being formed for the system (yes, I know this sounds "edgy"). I always had been a dreamer, I've always been overly emotional, sensitive, creative. I spent more time dreaming about things, than actually listening to other people. I cried when watchin children's cartoons, just because I felt so deeply for the characters, I always .felt the pain in my mother's soul, I hated competitive things such as sports because I didn't understand why people wanted to "fight", to be better than somebody else.
I hated school because I gradually got worse. everbody else seemed to do okay, almost effortlessly, but I just couldn't.
I COULDN'T. I stared at the papers, stared at the tasks, stared a the teacher, the board, my peers. I was there physically but not mentally. I just couldn't understand. I often wanted to. I really wanted to understand, pay attention, memorize, but I couldn't. I've never really done my homework and the times I did, I sat hours on homework that should have taken 20 minutes. but I just played around, stared at the wall, scribbled and dreamed.
my mother, even though she really did treat me horribly in many aspects, also has always been very supportive, almost oversupportive and caring towards me. she always took care about everything. I do believe she only meant well, but at the same time she took care of everything because "I would fail anyways". I'd "do it wrong", it would "end up in a catastrophy" if I did anything.
still. she was worried about my behaviour, so she brought me to a doctor and then there, boom:
at the age of around 8 I had been diagnosed with ADHD! it was 2001. I don't recall much about that time but I had been given medication. I believe it was methylphenidate, but I don't know in which form, dosage or anything. I don't recall how long I took it either, but I'd say it had been only a few weeks tops. because I really did NOT like it. I didn't like the sideffects, it made me naseous, tense and it just didn't feel right I believe. I don't know if I did any better in school with it. but apparently we decided to stop medication and that was that.
then my issues in school and life got worse and worse: at age 14 we tried medication another time. I tried it, my mum now claims that I did indeed improve in school, but the medication had some bad effects on my liver and for that reason, we stopped treatment once again. I did not get any CBT or coaching at that time.
from there on things got worse gradually until I had to basically drop out of grammar school when I was 17 and switch to another school. I had already felt off and sad for years at that time, but there at the age of 17 was the first time I can recall where I just started crying. I started crying in situations in which I didn't really have any reason to cry. I just did.
I had my first breakup at that time, things got even worse and it was the first time I saw somebody for depression. I had neglected/not taken my ADHD diagnoses seriously ever and the therapists/psychiatrists I saw apparently didn't take it seriously either. on my first appointment with a therapist she told me that it is "normal to feel a bit sad and off at this age". she prescribed me antidepressants right after the first session and that was that. I hesitantly took them, but I didn't do it properly: one day more, one day less, don't know how long, but again I stopped taking them due to adverse effects.
I got worse every month.
nonetheless when I finally graduated schook I was 20 and I had to decide:
what the hell do I want to do with my life?!
I've always been bad in school, I had no hobbies aside from gaming, I had only very few friends which also were only into gaming and my social skills, my confidence and my general development were far behind my peers. I had great ambitions still, but just didn't know where to direct them. well actually I always thought of acting, comedy, voice-acting or such things, but I was waaay to anxious to even consider these. also they were deemed very risky choices.
now all of a sudden after living under the impression that something is wrong with me, that I am stupid, lazy or just not capable, I was supposed to choose what I want to do with my life. learn a trade? go to college? which major?
I was utterly confused, anxious, devastated.
I chose to go travelling for a year, decided to visit/life with relatives I have in the US and just kind of try to figure out what I want to do with my life.
at that time I had been in a relationship almost 4 years. sadly my girlfriend didn't cope well with me leaving for an entire year at all and even a year before I left we already had severe issues. to make a long story short she made it incredibly hard for me and once I was in the US she cheated on me and broke up with me, which devastated me.
parallel to that my family back in my homecountry was devastated, because my grandmother (the only woman in my life that had ever given me a feeling of being loved) had been in cancer treatment for over 4 years.
a week after my girlfriend had cheated on my and broke up with me, my grandmother died. I couldn't even attend her funeral because I was so far away.
after that incident, after only 4 months of being in the US I decided I couldn't take it any longer, cancelled everything I had been doing and flew back home.
severely depressed, suicidal, girlfriend gone, grandmother gone, behind my peers, still not knowing what I want to do with my life.
I ended up in a psychosomatic clinic, which helped me kind of.
I started with antidepressants after that (lexapro) and took them for over 4 years. (tapered them in July 2019) also I had been in CBT for over a year.
after being in the clinic I decided to say "fuck it". I was 22, I had gone through a lot of shit my entire life and now I finally wanted to live. I wanted to live my life. leave the past behind and do my own thing.
so there I was. 22. felt pretty shitty all my life. no confidence, no skills, no nothing. all I knew was, that for some reason people seemed to like me, they talked about my empathy, my caring/loving nature, my humour, my wit and my charisma. (all of which I never saw in myself)
I knew I wanted to do something that makes sense. something that I'd look back on one day and say "you did a good job".
now in the clinic I had been to I had my first real contact with psychotherapy and I was fascinated by it.
I always had been able to read other people very well and I had been a pretty good talker (at least in my mother tongue). I knew I wanted to do something that made sense, so I felt like, I wanted to help other people somehow.
I decided I wanted to become a therapist, because I had already endured so much shit in my life that I wanted to prevent any other person from ever going through that and/or help them overcome their struggles.
sadly, my GPA was way too bad to study psychology and to be honest I was convinced I wouldn't succeed in this supposedly very demanding major.
after some research I found out: I could become a psychotherapist specifially for children and teenagers!
and what would I have to do for that? study Social Work. add a masters degree. and after that I could to a 3 year apprenticeship to become a therapist for children and teens. so at least 8 YEARS of studying and working.
I know...

but hey, I finally felt like I have a goal!! I finally knew what I was supposed to do to reach a certain thing. so I decided to go for it.
I applied for social work at different colleges. mind you, that I had only very little interest in social work per se, but I knew I had to go through it to reach my goal.
colleges declined me because my GPA was too bad. I had to wait another year. so I did and I finally got in.
at the age of 23 I finally started. I got to choose between 3 different colleges and chose to attend the one that was furthest away from home. I felt like I wanted to become independent and that I would achieve it via this way. come from a very small town with 1000 inhabitants in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nature and decided to move several hours away to a city with 600.000 inhabitants and a surrounding area of 10 million people. a very loud, fast-paced, ugly, anonymous and cold city.
but I finally started! I loved myself! I was excited! I had overcome so many things and now I finally had a plan! a new life! a new chance! new city! finally moved out from home, had my own little apartment, started college! WOW! I felt so alive and good.
but yeah. the story of course doesn't end there.
I lived alone in a student dormitory. I said to myself that I would NOT get into a relationship right away, because so far I had very bad issues with emotional dependency and I felt like I just wanted to be free and do my thing.
2 weeks after starting my new life I fell in love and got into a relationship...again a dysfunctional relationship, which still gave me a sense of belonging and security. after all I knew NOBODY in this new city. far away from home, living in a tiny aparment, studying something I am not interested in but which I have to do to get the job which felt like I wanted to pursue..
I have always had an addictive personality. years of videogames, then relationships. at the age of 19 I smoked cannabis for over a year on a daily basis (together with my girlfriend). in my 4 months in the US I smoked almost on a daily basis. after that I quit and said to never do it again, but once I moved to this new city, one of the first things I did, was to buy cannabis.
so I smoked weed on a daily basis once again. I did ecstasy, speed, cocaine sporadically at parties and then I got into psychedelics, mushrooms to be more specific, which I took more than monthly. I have to add that I took both the cannabis and the mushrooms very seriously: I documented everything from strain, to dosage, to time, how I felt, my experience and everything. looking back I was clearly trying to self-medicate.
after my initial excitement for my new life wore of I started to worry again. I felt soooo wrong in this new city. I actually hated it from day 1. I did not feel as if I am in the right place at all. but since I have felt like this my entire life I told myself to stick with it and give myself some time, let things develop.
I really tried. I went to college, did my courses, my assignments, I exercised 5 times a week, I had a relationship (which was very loving, albeit being dysfunctional), I only went home about 4 times a year and the distance actually helped to finally improve the relationship with my mother after so many years of conflict, I kept on taking my antidepressant daily, I ate healthy, I even got myself a job, I tried to make friends and I at least found some aquaintances, went out, went to parties, raves and such and I felt good for about 1 year. one year that felt as if I was actually living. I made it through my courses, I had a relationships, work, a goal, I had a 6-day-week, a proper schedule somehow.
but lingering deep inside of me was this thing. this thing that has always been there. that thing that grew and grew. that thing that wanted to burst out and destroy everthing, tear me down, bring me to my knees. and it got stronger everyday.
I grew more unhappy with my relationship, I wanted to break up. I wasn't interested in my courses. I was unsure about my long-term goal, I got homesick, I didn't like my job, I felt alone and isolated, hated the city, hated my apartment. everything felt so wrong. I grew more and more anxious and began to realize: yes, I have managed to make it through many courses, I even got good grades on some papers but I had NO CLUE about what those courses were about actually! I had learned NOTHING!
I wrote papers (as always) the day before, handed them in 1 minute before midnight, sometimes managed to get a straight A on it and had NO IDEA what I actually wrote. (looking back, that was hyperfocus)
so there I was. 24/25. I was in the thing I decided on. this city. this relationship. this major. this life. and I worried. I worried all day. what was I doing with my life?!

I knew I had to break up, so I decided to do so. I did but we got back together. it took me an entire year to finally struggle through and following through breaking up with this young woman. it was the hardest thing I had ever done, because I truly loved her, but we simply weren't compatible in the long run. (long story short: she was muslim, I am not, we haven't had sex in 2 years of being together and since I always planned on having kids one day, that would have required me to convert to islam and raise my children accordingly, which I didn't feel like doing, so instead of realizing that right away I spent almost a year on reading the quran, studying her culture and religion, to see if it was for me, but in the end I had to break up)
all this time I thought it was the relationship that made me feel bad and tought it might get better once I freed myself. it got better for about 2 months. the summer of last year. for some reason it was one of the happiest summers of my life. I felt like depsite all the things that felt off, that I was getting somewhere. that I for the first time in my life stood up for myself and decided to say NO to something that wasn't for me (my relationship). also I had QUIT ALL DRUGS! I felt empowered. I was 25. I had been working out for so long that for the first time in my life I actually found my appeareance to be ok. (even though people had always told me how attractive they found me my entire life, I always found myself hideous) I had only 3 more semesters of college in front of me and felt ok with everything.

but then it really started. after the breakup. it really started again. and I noticed it way too late. my depression got bad. reall bad. I grew more depressed and anxious every single day. I felt so alone and isolated in this city. apparently my girlfriend had been the only thing that had given me a sense of security. an anchor. but now that she was gone I started to realize:

I am 25 years old. the last few years have been an utter mess. I am living in a way too small apartment. alone. I study something I am not very interested in. I have only very few friends. the only real friends I have live several hours away. I had so many projects and hobbies planned (I wanted to start dancing and acting parallel to college) and I have done none of them. I wanted to go a semester abroad but I haven't because of my relationship. I worked out less and less because I was missing the energy. I got fired from my job because I wasn't paying attention enough, I got homesick, I hated myself. I hated my life. I felt like I have wasted my life, made horrible decision.
still, I tried to keep going, but it got worse every day. to the point were in January of this year I found myself jogging at 4 o clock in the night through ice and snow because I couldn't deal with my inner agitation any longer. I felt like I had to run a thousand miles. I was so incredibly depressed and suicidal that I felt drawn to every bridge, every river, every highway.
I tried to push through, but I started to call my family and suicide hotlines on a daily basis just to get some relieve, just to feel a bit less lonely and lost in this insane world.
I turned 26 in January and noticed wrinkles on my face. AGING! I am aging. the good years are over the prime-time is over. you are an adult now. you are supposed to know what you are doing. enough with playtime.
FUCK! I panicked. what the fuck have I done?! I wanted to do so much, yet I did nothing!
I failed my entire life! school, graduating, relationships, friendships, my year abroad, choosing a majocareer, actual living and now also my courses! I had to drop out of course because I was so suicidal!
I had not therapy while in college, only my antidepressants! and those in a very low dose, apparently not helping!
I finally realized: I do NOT want to become a psychotherapist for children and teenagers. I do not want to spent my life with mentally ill children and their worried parents. I lost my goal and ended up with studying something I grew to hate! what the fuck am I supposed to do with a degree in social work? I had issues my entire life and now I am supposed to work in a field which is DRIVEN by people's problems?
everything fell apart.
I wanted to run away! I wanted this to end! I just wanted to wake up and be 12 again! I wanted to be home! I wanted to have a new chance! a new life! I looked at a life of regret!

I kept on repeating over and over again to so many people "I alread grieve about the life I could have had" and "I feel as if I have never really and will never reach my full potential", "I always feel like I am driving with my foot on the breaks".

my condition got so bad that one day my mother and her friend (luckily) decided to drive to my aparment and get me out of there. I didn't want to, I didn't want to give up, but I just couldn't keep going.

this year at 26 I ended up in yet another clinic. after 10 days they kicked me out because I was "too depressed". they wanted to put me in a psychiatric hospital to "stabilize" me aka drug me until I am a zombie, which I didn't want to do.
so I ended up in a crisis intervention-clinic for 2 weeks, which helped.
since I was severly doubting my major and wanted to drop out, this was my main topic 24/7.
but everbody convinced me to just finish this degree. it takes 7 semesters and I already had 4. I only needed to to one more semester of courses. 5 courses. 1 semester of internship and 1 semester bachelor-thesis. then I'd be done and could either use it or do something completely different, but at least I'd have my degree.
so I was convinced to finish my degree.
I got back to college, back to this city I hated and after only 1 week I was severly suicidal once again. I couldn't stand it any longer, started calling friends, family and the suicide-hotline again, several times a day.
then my family finally convinced me to just stop and pause for one semester. I would kill myself if I kept going like this. I didn't want to but I knew they were right. so I put everything on halt, and ended up in yet another clinic.
I was actually glad to have made that decision. I had been to this type of clinic before when I was 22 and it had seemed to help, so I was confident it would help again. since I definitely had time for an entire semester I hope to stay as long in this clinic as possible (max 10 weeks) but sadly, they kicked me out after 5 1/2, because I broke one rule. I slept at another patients room. (don't want to expand further on this, but long story short everbody was shocked and mad at the staff that I had been kicked out because of such a small incident.)
still, the clinic kind of helped. being with likeminded people helped. what didn't help was the fact, that I again mentioned my ADHD diagnosis several times but the staff kept telling me that I don't have ADHD because I "could pay attention in conversations"... Also I wanted to talk about my PTSD (I have been sexually abused as a child), which they did ignore. instead they once again for the thousand'th time they diagnoses me with "recurring medium depressive episode" and "anxiety disorder" and "anxious-avoidant-personality-disorder"
now. there I was. 26. my life in shambles. not knowing where to go or what to do, looking at a mountain of failures, unfinished projects, long lost dreams and a plethora of pain, anguish, horror and devastation. lonely, no real friends around, failed college, lost my goal, my relationship, the little life I had, again living at my mom's house, while all my peers from highschool were already done with their master's degrees, travelling the world, heck even marying and getting children.
but again I had been convinced by so many people to finish my degree.
I decided to do so and since I knew that I just COULD NOT go back to this damn city I tried to transfer to a college near my hometown, to a city of which I know that I actually feel well there. I tried to transfer and I succeeded!
I cancelled everything in my city of anguish and an now currently trying to build my life from ZERO in this new city.
my major requires to do an entire semster of internship, which I am currently attending. it is not something I feel like I would want to do my entire life, but it isn't horrible either. also I simply need it in order to get this damn degree.
I also have found myself a therapist, which I will start seeing next week.
I am looking for flatshares, hoping to find a good, healthy environment for me.
I am way closer to home (only 40 minutes), which kind of feels like a failure but to be honest it makes me feel a lot more secure too. also I have my family dog waiting there, which is a life saver.
yesterday I finally received notice about my transfer to this new college: in the college I started I had already acquired 139 out of 210 credit points! (normally I would have been done in 6 months from now)
my new college apparently only accepts 97.5 of the CP I already had. so about 44 CP lost. worth about 9 courses. which is utterly frustrating. I will now have to do my internship and then 2 semesters of studying in very demanding courses plus writing my bachelor-thesis. and I am fucking afraid. adapting to a new environment, a new college, new professors and most importantly having to write exams again! learning! memorizing! at my initial college I was very happy to have a lot of presenations and write a lot of papers, which I am good at, but in this college I apparently have to really just learn and learn and vomit it all out on a piece of paper a the end of the semester. the one thing I have never been able to do and which has broken my neck and self-esteem so many times!
and all that for a degree which I don't even know what I am supposed to do with it once I am finally done at the age of 28.

now all of this happend. I know the past is the past and that I can not change anything about it. I do believe that I only had good intentions so far and that I really tried to do my best. I know that I could not have known anything before it actually happened, I could not have known that my grandmother would die while I am abroad, I could not have known, that my relationship would end up the way it ended, I could not have known that I'll loose interest in my "goal" once again, and so on...
and now I am here. especially these last 12 months have been the worst of my life. I am still extremely depressed many times, and suicidal more than I can bare. I won't kill myself because I don't want to transfer my pain to anybody else.

and in fact I WANT TO LIVE! I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVE! and that's the whole fucking point!

I WANT TO LIVE BUT I DON'T SEEM TO KNOW HOW! I am so fucking frustrated. I have been convinced for so long that I am not only lazy, stupid, incompetent and hideous, no I have actually been convinced that I am mentally retarted and that people are just too kind to actually tell me.
and now after these years of pain and torture, after ruminating about my past, after trying to treat my depression for years, I have finally realized something:
ADHD. fucking ADHD.
all this time. for over 17 years I have known about ADHD and I had actually been diagnosed with it. I tried to treat it a little bit, but not really.

I never took it seriously. and I HATE MYSELF FOR IT!

so many people say "oh if only I had been diagnosed sooner!" and I actually have been diagnosed 17 years ago but I did not treat it properly!! now I am littered with comorbidities and my life is so deep down the shits that I have no clue where to even start or ever recover from all this pain and these traumatic events!

still. I am here. I am alive. I want to live.
I had made an appointment with a psychiatrist a few weeks ago.

she told me that from what I told her so far she is nearly certain that I have ADHD and thus she prescribed me Vyvanse. I was hesitant at first and I took it.

I have taken 15mg in the morning. and I noticed and effect after about 1-2 hours. I have felt slight euphoria and I was stunned about just how QUIET my brain can actually be! I was not aware just how noisy my brain is. I could have heard a needle drop in my head! I was so clear and really able to focus. I could follow conversations! pay attention, respond accordingly and actually REMEMBER stuff! the second day I actually read an ENTIRE BOOK in several hours. I was just so focused and interested and I actually felt like I understood what I had read! I was much more organised and confident, as soon as I thought that I wanted to do something, I actually did it and FOLLOWED THROUGH! my thoughts were so much more streamlined, all the things hat had been piling up, all the new tasks in front of me: transfering to another college, finding new doctors, finding a flatshare, making appointmens, just getting my shit together - it all felt much easier. I felt so good!
BUT
sideffects: sweating, dry mouth, tense muscles in jaw, head and neck, slight headaches, subjectively raised heartrate (didn't actually measure it), increasingly worse gastro-intestinal problems (bloated stomach, nausea), loss of apetite, troubles falling asleep AND severe erectile dysfunction (it was impossible to get and maintain an erection and my orgasms were just not statisying at all) AND I grew more anxious, tense and depressed ever day.
after only one week I decided that I couldn't take it any longer. I asked my psychiatrist and she recommended me stoppin the medication. so I did. felt horrible and sleepy for 2 days.

but now I feel better again. the adverse effects are gone. BUT! the noise is back. I have a billion thoughts, a billion ideas. it is so OBVIOUS to me now just WHY I have always had and still have an incredibly hard time choosing a majocareer and actually STICK with it
I have missed out on so many things because I simply could not pay attention! I have so many projects laying around, so many hobbies I wanted to pursue, so many places I wanted to see, I have 200 books I bought because I found them interesting and I have started to read about 40 of them, while finishing only about 10.
I have always been told that I am smart, that I have potential, that I look good, that I'm charismatic, but I never saw that. I always wanted to live, to actually DO something but I couldn't.
now I am AWARE of all of this and I of course read a lot about ADHD, I saw so many videos about it, talked to doctors, had my first diagnosis at the age of 9 and

I STILL DOUBT THAT I HAVE ADHD!

and I am confused about what to do now.

really finish my degree, even though I have no clue what to do with it, even if they handed it me tomorrow?
what about medication? I am thankful for the experience with Vyvanse because it made me realize just what is going on in my head and how it could actually be, if things were "normal". But apparently these sideeffect were just way too much.
now what? try another medication? treat my depression first? my ADHD first?
I feel like I have finally woken up at the age of 26 and now have to relive these "wasted" 26 years within one year.
and I am terribly afraid of making further mistakes, afraid of falling deeper and deeper into despair, into mental illness and to waste my life on sickness, worrying and ruminating.

I WANT TO LIVE!
HOW?
DO YOU HAVE THE IMPRESSION THAT I HAVE ADHD?
WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?
I AM SO AFRAID OF AGING!
I FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE FAILURE!
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
IS THERE ANY MEDICATION THAT REALLY HELPS WITHOUT DAMAGING ME EVEN FURTHER?

I just want to live. please. let me live.
I want to get up in the morning an feel ok and not greatet by millions of negative thoughts and worries.
I don't want to look in the mirror and worry about having wasted the best years of my life.
I want to be asked in a conversation " and, what are you doing with your life?" and actually give a happy and confident answer!
I want to leave my demons behind me and finally live up to my potential, without destroying my body with some severe sideffects.
ok. this was A LOT longer than anticipated. but I guess this had to just leave my system. writing actually makes me feel better I just noticed. to whoever made it through all this text: wow. thank you for reading this part of my story.
I hope you are doing well today. somehow we can make it. take care!

/end rant
submitted by damondan to ADHD [link] [comments]


2019.06.19 18:15 a_me_ I am 24 years old make joint income of $210,000, I live in Dallas and work as an Analyst.

Assets and Debts:
Retirement Balance: $0 for me, my job doesn't offer a plan, so we invest the money on our own. My husband has roughly 10K, his previous employer had a 401k but did not match his contribution. His current employer matches up to 6%, so we are maxing it out.
Equity: $110,000 in an investment property we own, The home value will be $230K after renovations and we bought it at 62% of retail value at $142K and we are putting in 40K to renovate it. We have a loan for $120K.
Savings account: $63K total contributing $5854/month, we try to save my husbands full salary and survive on mine. If we find a property we like, we use this as down payment. We dip into our savings for travel and unforeseen expenses.
Checking Account balance: $50-$500, $500 around payday and rarely anything left by the time we get paid.
Credit card debt: Roughly $500 revolving that we pay in full each month.
Student loan: $200 monthly for $17K worth of loans. My husband doesn't have any.
Home loan: $1,242 (Three month loan for the flip)
Section 2 Income:
Main Job Monthly take home
My salary $60,000 + $3,000 bonus, $3992/month, I’m in investment advising.
My husbands salary: $90,000 + $7k bonus, $5854/month, he’s a senior financial analyst with a software company.
Side gig:
Real estate: $50,000 roughly the estimate of how much we will make from flipping three houses this year. We are currently finishing our second flip and we should make between $25k-30k on it. I didn’t include rental income for this MD since the house is still under renovation.
Section Three Expenses:
Tithe and charity - $940 We give 10% of our income either as tithe or charity
Giving - $400 My husband and I are both immigrants so we set aside some money to send to family back home. I help pay for my cousins school fees, field trips, grandparents medicine etc.
Rent and utilities- $875 for a one bedroom apartment and totals $927 total with water, sewer and trash
401k: $312 Husband's 401k which we just started contributing to with his new job, it comes out of his pay. My employer doesn't match mine so we are investing our money on our own, we did the same for my husband before he got a job matching up to 6% of his contributions.
Utilities: ~$255 ( We pay for my parents gas bill as well as our own utilities)
Internet: $51.38
Phone: $82 for both of us, it includes Prime
Netflix: $13
iCloud storage: $0.99
Toll: $40, I prepay my toll account
Car: $72 for insurance, we both still drive our cars from college. Renters Insurance: $11.48
Gym: $10


Day 1
7:30AM
My first alarm rings and as per usual I snooze until the very last moment. I hear my husband J waking up and getting in the shower. He kisses me goodbye as he walks out the door and as I jump into the shower around 8. I opt for no makeup today, my daily skincare routine includes cleansing with Aveeno facial cleanser, toning with organic rose water, moisturizing with Ponds and spraying more rose water. I try to exfoliate 2x a with a random scrub I picked up from Walmart, but some weeks I forgot and this happens to be one of those weeks.
8:20AM
I’m out of the door and traffic is backed up because of the rain last night. I make it into the office by 8:35 and I’m the first person from my team in, I guess everyone is stuck in that crazy traffic. I am currently in the middle of job hunting, so I email a recruiter from a company I interviewed with last week.
10:00AM
Another recruiter was supposed to call me at 10 but it’s almost 10:15 and he hasn’t called. He eventually calls and the interview is unproductive as he tells me I don’t have the level of experience he normally deals with. I work in a financial advisory and investment management firm that contracts with state and local governments. I’m the only female analyst at my office and the culture is just not for me. On top of the culture being terrible, we are expected to stay in the office late, even if there is no work.
12:00PM
This report that I’m working on is getting more complicated. It’s just one of those projects were every detail is complicated and I have to review ten years worth of financial data line by line. I hear everyone gather together to go for lunch and I wonder why I wasn’t invited. I check our company group chat and don’t see anything posted on the chat. I guess it’s okay because they will talk about sports anyway and I can’t follow the conversation. The office only has about ten employees in the Dallas location. I grab a pop-tart from the snack bar.
1:15PM
I leave for lunch and go to Starbucks, I preorder a venti iced green tea latte with soy. This is my go to order. I use my rewards. I pick it up and park to prep for my phone interview at 1:30. The interview goes well and it’s with a company I really would like to work for. It’s a female empowering company and the recruiter said there is a maternal nature in the company. Fingers crossed I get called in for an in person interview. Since I started looking for a new job, I’ve really been focused on companies that are more diverse as I want to interact with more females at work. I get a call from a company I interviewed with last week, they want to bring me in for an interview on site. Yay! I put gas and head back to the office. $12.49
2:00PM
The day is dragging and I’m trying to get this report out. I’m supposed to have a photo shoot with my husband later on today but it looks like it’s going to rain. I text the photographer and she extends it to next week. When we got married we didn’t do anything big, it was a simple court wedding and a gathering at my parents house. We are in a better place financially and we want to do a reception.
6:30PM
Still in the office wrapping up on the report. My husband texts to see if I want to go see a movie, I suggest we watch something on HBO instead.
6:50PM
Leave the office and head home. I get home and J is on a call. He took out some chicken so I immediately cut it, along with some goat meat. I love cooking and I am pretty great at it. I honestly think that’s my only talent. I microwave the remainder of the Nigerian stew I made last week and we eat that. I’m always on YouTube looking at cooking videos and I ate this stew once at a party and fell in love with it, J loves it as well. Tonight I’m making a Thai green curry with chicken and goat. I found a video on YouTube from Mark Weins that was narrated by his Thai mother in law. I went to our local Asian grocery store over the weekend and bought the ingredients. I make the paste in my pastel and mortar, this is by far my favorite equipment in my kitchen.
9:30PM
I’m still hungry so I eat a little bit of rice with an avocado. I realize I didn’t get a chance to eat lunch today because of the interview. As I’m finishing up the curry, J shows me a potential real estate deal. We just sold a flip last week and we are looking for something else. We go through the analysis and the house is overpriced for a flip. J calls the wholesaler anyway to make an offer that works for us. The wholesaler won’t take it, so we spend time looking at other homes.
The curry is done and J serves as the taste master. He loves it and eats some with rice. He also didn’t get a chance to eat lunch today.
10:30PM
Still looking at real estate and J reminds me that we are supposed to watch a movie tonight. He picks a movie and the acting is terrible but we are 30 minutes in, so we just voice our disappointments to each other and continue watching.
I pack J’s lunch, curry and rice. I also bottle some juice, I decide to pack mine tomorrow. I take a shower and do my normal skincare routine.
12:47AM
Finally in bed.
Daily Total:$12.49


DAY 2
7:50AM
I’m up ten minutes early today because I have an interview after work and I need to put makeup on and dress nicer. The position is 100% work from home and I’m still not sure how I feel about it. For makeup I do my normal skincare routine, add Laura Geller primer, Tarte foundation, Fenty contour, NARS concealer, Urban Decay eye shadow, Almay setting powder, Revlon mascara, and Urban Decay setting spray.
8:26AM
I’m out of the door running a little late. I opt to use the toll, I normally deposit $40 into my toll account every month. I make it into the office by 8:33, traffic was a blessing today. As per usual I’m the first analyst in. Everyone comes in after 8:45. I’m a little annoyed because my boss pulled me into his office when I was coming in a little after 8:40 as well. I actually didn't have a car due to an accident and every morning was a struggle with Uber and Lyft.
9:00AM
I invoice a client I just completed some work for. I text my mom to see if she wants to visit us this weekend, she says she is working over the weekend.I get an email from the person I’m interviewing with asking if we can change it to a conference call instead. Bummer. I order a refill of my birth control that is fully paid for by my insurance.
11:00AM
I’m starving, so I grab a breakfast bar and kombucha.($5.89) It looks like J ordered some food from the cafeteria at his work, probably breakfast and coffee ($13.02). I turn in one of my reports and my boss informs me that he is assigning our biggest client to me this summer.
1:10PM
Time for lunch, I debate going back home since I forgot my lunch or sleeping in my car. I’m not ashamed to say sleep always wins over lunch. I take a twenty minute walk around the building, park my car under a tree, roll down my windows for a fresh breeze and enjoy this small joy of life. I grab a fruit cup from the fridge on my way back to the office.
4:50PM
I’m feeling hungry now and regretting that sleep. The only items we have in our work snack pantry are pop tarts, fruit cups and soda. I grab a pop tart and warm it up. I get an interview confirmation with a company I’m interviewing with next week Monday.
6:00PM
I’m done with my reports for the week and I give them to my boss. He is actually leaving early today and he is out of the office by 6:10, I follow suit and I’m out by 6:30. Get home, quickly heat up some rice and curry from last night, I add an avocado on the side. J is visiting a friend tonight so I have time to do my phone interview at home. I dial into the interview at 6:45 and it goes well. The hiring manager wants to bring me in for an in person interview again. I’m really not feeling the role anymore, I think I need a little more guidance this early in my career and 100% work from home might not be it.
9:20PM
J is still out and we don’t have any bottled water in the apartment or juice. I really want something to drink, so I quickly run to Kroger. I get more kombucha, bottled spring water, different juices, bananas and paper towels. $24.39.
10:10PM
I’m home loading the dishwasher when J walks in. He spends the remainder of the night watching some YouTube videos for some new software he has to learn at work and I spend mine applying to jobs. At some point I doze off around midnight on the couch
12:39AM
J wakes me up to go to bed but I haven’t taken my nightly shower. I like to take a shower at night so that my shower in the morning will be very short. I go to bed sometime around 1am
Daily total: $43.30


Day 3
7:30AM
J’s alarm rings. Why? He gets up and I continue sleeping. I drag myself out of bed around 8 and jump into the shower. Friday’s are casual at my office but I don’t feel like wearing jeans. So I put on a midi dress.
8:20AM
I’m out of the door and sitting on my desk by 8:35. I notice I have a request for a phone interview with another company as well. We set up an interview for Monday. J just got a new job and this is his second week there. He took a week off in between jobs and basically spent it applying to jobs for me, he probably put in at least a fifty applications. I spent last week and this week doing phone interviews during my lunch or after work.
11:40AM
Time for lunch, my office usually orders in or we go out on Friday’s. Since I cook a lot, I tend to prefer my food and I grabbed leftover curry just in case they order from a place I’m not a fan of. Everyone decides to go out to Hudson House. The food is okay but too oily. Lunch is paid for by the office
1:00AM
Get back into the office a bit hungry since I couldn’t finish my shrimp scampi from lunch. I snack on a banana I packed this morning. One of the jobs I interviewed for informed me they would get back to me at the end of the week, the week is over and nothing. I keep checking my phone for an email. I felt like a nailed the interview and connected with my potential bosses. Literally after the interview J and I went out to celebrate because I walked out feeling really confident. It’s been a week and a half since the interview and I’m still waiting. The waiting game sucks. Last night during my interview I didn’t feel comfortable bringing the salary question, so I send an email asking about the salary. He responds saying it pays 60-70k..
3:20AM
I’m so sleepy and I ask may coworker if he wants to walk across the street to grab tea. We get there and they are closed, bummer. I get a Pepsi from the work fridge instead.
I’ve turned in my reports and my brain is done for the weekend. J is texting me some very irresistible texts to try and get me home early, days like these, I wish I could leave a little early on Friday.
6:15PM
Finally out of the office. Traffic is heavy so I take a different route home and what do you know, I find myself in a Chick-fil-A driveway. I order a sandwich and side salad ($6.32). Looks like J ordered from Amazon ($14.17). I’m get home just in time to relax a bit before I have to shower and go to bible study. J ended up going to a friends house to work on a wedding project. I shower and J shows up around 7:15 to pick me up for bible study.
7:30PM
Get to church and have a very productive session. I always look forward to coming to church, most of our friends we made in college go to the same church. Bible study ends at 9, but we stay till 11:00 catching up and updating each other on how the week went.
11:00PM
We finally get home and lay on the bed discussing life. I fall asleep.
4:30AM
I’m wide awake, this is why I don’t go to bed early. I try to force myself to go back to bad without any success. I give up, get out of bed and unload the dishwasher, I put in new dishes as well. I also get a load of laundry in.
Daily Total: $20.49


Day 4
8:00AM
J is awake and getting ready for choir rehearsals. He co-leads our church choir, he tries not to wake me up but it’s too late. I stay in bed till 9 on my phone and then I shower and get ready. My cousin invited me to a program at her church that starts at 10.
10:15AM
I’m of course running late, so I grab a bottle of kombucha and head out the door.
2:00PM
The program was great and they had great food. On my way home, I stop by H-mart (our local Asian food market).I get tomatoes, onions, ginger, oranges, shallots, Thai basil, sea bass fillets, mackerel, golden pompano, honeycomb tripe, dried hibiscus flowers, crackers, shrimp and garlic chili paste. I’m on a mission to try most of the fish they sell at this market, which is a lot. ($63.54)
I head over to Kroger to get honey, detergent, frozen vegetables, frozen waffles for J’s breakfast, zip-locks, foil paper, coconut creamer and more ginger. ($37.07)
3:30PM
I’m finally home and J is so happy to see me he starts smooching me. We unload the groceries and get to making lunch. Lunch is leftover curry, I also make coleslaw and J makes plantain for more sides. Whenever I cook, I make large batches to last the week.
I spend the rest of the afternoon applying to jobs and J works on our real estate. He gets a call from the realtor that the inspection report is ready and we need to fix a few minor issues. We tell the realtor to ask if the buyer wants credit instead, so we can get to the closing table as soon as the appraisal is done.
6:00PM
A few years back I got J into comics and superhero movies so we could geek together, we of course have to go watch Endgame. Like noobs we didn’t purchase our tickets in advance and all the theaters are booked. We literally spend the next hour refreshing multiple sites to see if anything opens up. By some luck we get a seats for a showing in 10 minutes. We quickly get ready and I sneak in two bottles of juice and a packet of chips into the theater with me. ($28.98)
10:50PM
Wow, that was good. I’m feeling all kinds of emotions right now. We gather our empty bottles and put them back in my bag to trash at our apartment. I feel guilty leaving my trash on the table when I didn’t buy food at the theater. I spend the rest of the night studying for a finance certification I need and J works on the info we need to close our flip. We go to bed around 2:30.
Daily Total: $129.59


Day 5
9:00AM
J is up and of course his alarm wakes me up. He has to be in church an hour early for rehearsals. I stay in bed till 10:30.
1:30PM
Service was great and I loved our pastor's message. She is a young female pastor so I can almost always relate. I go to the church office to join the finance team to complete the weekend reports. We also have a leaders meeting after which both J and I attend.
3:30PM
We finally leave church and I stop by the bank to make deposits from today's tithe and offering. We stop by my parents house but no one is home, I forgot my mom said she was working today. We decide to visit a friend who is relocating to California. I call my mom on the way to my friends house. Our friend M makes us lunch, spinach and chicken.
6:00PM
We finally get back home. J heads to Starbucks to work on a project. I take a nap.
7:47PM
I didn’t set my alarm and I’m relieved to know I didn’t sleep past 8 because Sundays are always busy preparing for Monday. I wash and blow dry my hair,do my nails and go over my to-do for the week.
9:30PM
The weekend is over and this is about the time we start wallowing on how we wasted the week and didn’t accomplish much. As if to makeup, J starts the laundry and I start studying for my finance exam. The exam I’m studying for will help me in my current role but won’t be helpful towards much else. I’m still waiting to hear back from my interviews to decide if I should register for the exam. I don’t want my company pay $1500+ for me to get certified and then leave the company a few weeks after. J and I feel like that will be bad karma, I would rather put in my two weeks notice before registering for the exam
10:30PM
It’s a little late but we didn’t eat dinner. I grab the sea bass fillet, season it with a blend of ground pepper, white pepper, black pepper, stock and salt. I lightly brown it and then add garlic and ginger paste chili paste, Thai chili, honey, water, shallots and Thai basil. It’s so good and enough for four servings. We eat some for dinner and pack our lunches with the leftovers. I study some more and also prepare for my job interviews tomorrow, I have a phone and an in person interview. J makes me do a mock interview, he is a senior analyst in the industry I am trying to transition into. He does a great job interviewing me.
1:30AM
We are finally in bed.


Day 6
7:20AM
J’s alarm rings and we are up. I don’t get out of the blankets till J leaves for work. I quickly shower and put on makeup since I have an interview. I use Laura Geller sparkling primer, Tarte foundations, Nars concealer and Almay setting powder. I also use a Fenty beauty highlighter as eye-shadow.
8:30AM
I’m running late today, so I take the toll and make it into the office by 8:37. As you can tell, I am not a morning person. I text my boss that I will be a few minutes late. I’m surprised to be the first person in the office.
9:30AM
I notice I had a missed call on Friday from the company I was waiting to hear back from. I missed the call because the caller ID was from out of state. I quickly call back and the hiring manager offers me the position. She was worried that I might get bored with the position since I have a large skillset. I’m so thrilled and happy because this was my first choice. The company is also very diverse and has work from home benefits, paid maternity/paternity leave and floating holidays. I quickly call J to tell him the good news. He practically screams in my ear.
10:00AM
I cancel my phone interview with another company since I wasn’t really excited about the position. I forgot my suit jacket at home, so I quickly drive back home and pray my boss doesn't notice I’m gone. It takes me fifteen minutes to get back to my desk. I basically live five minutes away.
12:45PM
I leave the office for my interview I scheduled last week. The interview goes well and I really love how challenging the role is. I can honestly see myself making a difference by helping them streamline various processes. They still do a lot of their reporting manually. The only issue I have is they will want me to come in on Sundays once in awhile. I don’t mind working Saturdays but I prefer to be in church on Sundays. On my way back to the office, I call J to discuss the interview. J has 5 years work experience in finance and I only have 2, he is basically my in house career coach.
2:30PM
It’s been a very stressful couple of weeks with the job search and uncertainty that I’ve not been taking good care of myself. I didn't eat my lunch because of the interview, so I go to the cafe and get a kombucha and coconut water. I have a terrible headache, I take some medicine to calm it.
7:20PM
I finally leave the office and call my brother to chat on my way home. My headache is still very much there and I realize it’s probably due to hunger. I microwave some rice with the curry and fish from yesterday. So good and as if on cue my headache disappears. I’ve not been taking good care of myself the past few weeks with the job search, wedding reception planning and various issues with our real estate business. I tend to get so anxious, worried and nervous to the point were I will forget to eat the whole day. I haven’t even been to the gym the past two weeks. I’m feeling very relieved about the offer and I can see my body loosen a bit. My brother and I discuss our startup while I eat dinner. He is an engineer and we have a small startup that’s starting to take off. He is supposed to build a prototype model for our advisor to take to Asia in mid-July to share with a few investors. I’m excited about this and it is also another reason why I need a job with work life balance. J has a family matter to attend to this evening, so he won't be home anytime soon.
12:30AM
J got home around 10 and we went to bed at 12:30


Day 7
7:00AM
My gym alarm rings and I force myself out of bed. I quickly put on some yoga pants, sports bra and one of J’s t-shirts. I unwillingly head to the gym for a quick workout. I’m back home by 8 and out of the house by 8:20 and the first analyst in the office as usual.
9:00AM
I get a call from a recruiter about a position I applied for. It’s with a great company and I consider if I should take this time to interview with more companies, I decide to pass on the opportunity. I sign my offer letter and draft my resignation. I also decided to take a two week break between the two jobs to focus on myself. I’m not sure yet what I will do.
12:30PM
Time for lunch. I spend twenty minutes walking around the building, then I drive over to Starbucks to grab a coffee. I end up getting a sandwich as well and pay for the coffee with my rewards. ($4.17)
3:00PM
I email a project to my boss and also ask if I can stop by his office. I can feel my anxiety rising as I get ready to submit my resignation. Ughh, I hate confrontation and to be the deliverer of bad news. I know I did my best in the role and they gave me a 10% raise after I started and a 70% increase to my bonus. My boss is shocked and says he doesn’t wanna lose me. He asks me what he can do to retain me and if I want a raise. I surprise myself by saying I would like to work normal hours. He goes on and on about the great opportunities available to me and says he can try to work with me to get what I want. He says I can work the 45 hours, but it will just reflect on my compensation, I don’t like the sound of that since 45 hours is already working overtime.
He also informs me that they are hiring two new analysts to decrease the workload and they can hire up to four if the work it too much for me. I’m feeling a little guilty now about everyone that has to take on my workload. I basically curve in and tell him I will think about his offer and get back to him tomorrow.
I honestly feel like if I’m the only person leaving the office at 5, it will reflect poorly on my review and the other analysts might resent me for it. It’s already tough being the only female in my office and I don’t want to make the environment any worse. I’m torn. My boss sends me a message asking if I need to speak to him some more and if I need any additional information that can help me make my decision. I don’t even know what kind of information to ask for as I’ve never been in this situation before.
I can hear my boss sighing with frustration the rest of the day. I’m the fourth person to leave our office in the last six months.
6:18PM
Still at the office trying to wrap up some reports. I receive a call from the CEO saying he spoke with my manager about the resignation and he would prefer I stay at the company, as they really value me as an employee. He goes on about the great opportunities available to me in this industry and how he likes me as an employee. A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to travel with him to meet some clients and we connected well. However, I kind of felt like a prop being presented to the clients to show diversity in the company for having a female minority analyst. I wasn’t sure if I got the opportunity for my accomplishments or for what my appearances bring to the company. At this point my head is spinning trying to decide if I’m making a huge mistake or not.
6:35PM
Leave the office and call J to discuss my options on my way home. I also call my brother to get his opinion about the whole situation. He advises me to leave. I try calling my mom but she doesn’t pick up. I drive to my mom’s restaurant to hear her thoughts. She is a restaurant manager and after discussing my options with her, she says it’s probably best I leave as well. She medicates me with some ice cream, I also offer to buy her dinner since she planned on going out during her break. She buys fried chicken
($6.48)
Daily Total: $10.65
Total: $216.52
Food and groceries: $160.88
Fund and Entertainment: $28.98
Transportation: $12.49
Other: $14.17

Reflection:
I wrote this diary a month ago and it was a very stressful time trying to interview for jobs and I was not comfortable with the whole salary situation. I didn’t negotiate my salary with the new offer and after starting the company I can see that they really needed me and I could have asked for way more. The spending in this diary is pretty normal for us since we work so much and cook most of our meals. We are currently living off of my salary alone, so we have to make it work in order for us to have capital for our real estate business and startup.
submitted by a_me_ to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2019.04.05 02:07 jw_mentions Possible Discussion on /r/MichaelJackson in post "Serious question: What was MJ's mental condition? As a long time fan I'm starting to get confused."

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EDIT: As of Fri Apr 05 08:22:09 EDT 2019, the post is at [8pts2c]

About Post:

--- --- Notes
Submission Serious question: What was MJ's mental condition? As a long time fan I'm starting to get confused.
Comments Serious question: What was MJ's mental condition? As a long time fan I'm starting to get confused.
Author aM00nShapedPool
Subreddit /MichaelJackson
Posted On Thu Apr 04 13:24:43 EDT 2019
Score 8 as of Fri Apr 05 08:22:09 EDT 2019
Total Comments 24

Post Body:

I do not believe that he ever harmed a child. Just to get that clear....I also do not believe the accusers of the documentary.
But why did MJ share a bed with children? I mean I used to say, cause he was a child himself....BUT then I thought about...and that answer doesn't fly. "What if it was a 40 year old dude and not Michael Jackson..."
It can't be healthy to be fixated on children...or to travel with them all the time? I watched the Martin Bashir interview....and it made me uncomfortable....no matter how it was filmed. MJ isn't the only childhood star, so that isn't really an excuse.
Are any people who study psychology on here? I really want to know what their take would be. What was Michaels condition?

Related Comments (2):

--- --- Notes
Author tempus_fugit_u_fools
Posted On Thu Apr 04 15:23:50 EDT 2019
Score 16 as of Fri Apr 05 08:22:09 EDT 2019
Conversation Size 3
Body link
Currently studying to be a LPC, so take this all as my personal perspective, but I think it's dangerous to diagnose people from afar without really sitting down with them in person, and for only one session. We can really only speculate. Regarding his "childlike" behavior, you have to ask yourself, what would make a 40 year old man act this way and it be completely from a genuine or innocent standpoint on his end?
You say he's "not the only childhood star"... well, what do you mean by that exactly? Context and background matter. It's why when people seek counseling or therapy, we don't tell them within the first 5 minutes, "Your situation isn't THAT bad you know... Some of my clients have depression worse than yours." Even people in similar situations handle their circumstances in different ways.
A common thing you'll hear Michael himself say as well as others describing him that "he didn't have a childhood". And it's true. He was consistently always performing from a certain age and never stopped. From age 5 he was a professional entertainer in the US. By age 10 he was internationally known. Think about the 5 year olds you know and compare; his life was rehearse and sing, or be beaten, not going to kindergarten or playing sports. He grew up as a Jehovah's Witness, so he did not celebrate birthdays or holidays. He was a pop star by his teens/20s. John Landis said working with him on "Thriller" at age 24 was like "working with a gifted 10 year old". Sounds harsh at first, but watch the making of "Thriller" or "Black or White", and you'll get a sense of what he meant. In the making of "Beat It", he's asked who his personal friends are in an interview, and Michael's first answer is "my fans".
You just can't compare Michael to your "typical 40 year old" or any age of his life. No other child or man has lived a life he has, including any examples of child actors you can find. His life was not relatable to anyone with his specific set of circumstances. No one can relate to a pop star, and for this reason, many of his songs have a theme of loneliness. Songs like "Stranger in Moscow" convey this really well. Michael himself said he felt like the only person who knew what it was like to be him--in the spotlight all the time, every action judged by the media, and the isolation of it all--was Princess Diana, and according to him they had a close friendship up until her death.
It's clear in footage that Michael got along with children more than adults; if we were to speculate, he probably found them more trustworthy and honest. Kids don't usually have ulterior motives unless that idea is put into their heads. Conversely and to his detriment, he also knew from a young age that children--like he was by Joseph--can be coached, ordered around, and told to lie--as he admitted about his own family. Adults would take advantage of him, and he received proof of it time after time, despite wanting to be trusting and believing in the good of people. People often say the worst thing to come out of the 2005 case (other than his eventual death) was that MJ knew he could never ever interact with children in the same way again, and it crushed him, as they were his only source of happiness. I think it was highly traumatising for him to go through and was the ultimate signal to him that he could never get the world to see things the way he did.
I encourage you to look up more interviews of MJ talking about his life and behind the scenes of certain videos to see how he acted in a candid sense. Not just Bashir's interview. MJ is a fascinating and unique study IMO. There will never be anyone else like him.
--- --- Notes
Author MimsyFrancais
Posted On Thu Apr 04 18:41:18 EDT 2019
Score 7 as of Fri Apr 05 08:22:09 EDT 2019
Conversation Size 4
Body link
I don't know but the poor guy was suffering, quite clearly, from the unimaginable strain of being Michael Jackson.
Even just listing the things we know about
  • He was an untreated victim of child abuse
  • As a result of his child abuse he was paranoid about being ugly which reportedly lead to body dysmorphia.
  • As if that wasn't enough, he had two auto-immunity diseases (vitiligo and discoid lupus) which affected his appearance, and was a burns victim which reportedly forced him to wear wigs from a young age.
  • His lupus caused him to have a collapsed lung at one point, muscle ache, fatigue and breathing issues yet he was famous for how well and energetically he sang and danced. He was worked half to death and put under inmense pressure to succeed. Imagine suffering from lupus and having to maintain the standards he did in singing and dance, both of which are affected by lupus. Not only was he forced to work, by the looks of things he was actually used to it too.
  • Was raised as a devout Jehovas Witness only to (reportedly?) be kicked out after using fake guns in the Smooth Criminal video. I know some former JWs who told me that being made to leave the church means you are abandoned by every one you ever knew and one girl told me that she felt at that point that 'God would never love her again' - I cannot say how Michael felt, but I can only imagine how much being forced to leave the JW church would have affected him given how much he believed at that time and how sensitive a person he was.
By the end of his life Michael Jackson had completed all but five years of his life in front of a camera. It would be a miracle if he was completely well adjusted. Frankly, the fact he turned out such a genuinely nice and down to earth person as he did is a miracle on its own!
submitted by jw_mentions to jw_mentions [link] [comments]


2019.01.22 06:08 informedly_baffled [Meet Report] USAPL NY Northeast Iron Beast – 702.5kg @ 73.15kg509.5 Wilks788 IPF26M

Best Lifts on Insta I'll try to upload openers/seconds later!
TL;DR: I've never had a better prep in my life, and it showed.
Background
This meet marked two years working with Joey Franzo from Flexx Training Systems. I can't imagine myself working with any other coach for the rest of my powerlifting career. He's taken me from a mildly strong, absolute headcase of a lifter and turned me into to a calm, consistent, lifting machine on meet day. I know that no matter how I feel in the days and weeks leading up to a meet, I'll always be able to perform up to my own expectations as long as I follow the plan he lays out. He has my absolute trust in all lifting-related matters.
Starting in September, I also began working with Alberto Nunez from 3DMJ for my nutrition. It had long been the biggest issue with my training. I would always train well under weight class, skip meals, skimp on macros, etc. My recovery had been inconsistent at best, with performance on any given day being an absolute toss up. Working with Berto changed all of that. The dude motivated me to be as rigid with my nutrition as I was in my lifting, and I saw almost instant results. There was a month-long span towards the start where I could go into the gym and expect at least two or three PRs per week because my body responded so well to actually eating properly.
I also moved back to NY from Boston in September. The goal was to apply for graduate school, but I put that on the back burner because I've realized that I can't really bear living with my parents and need a job to get out of the house. That being said, I'm currently unemployed, which has made training a little easier as I can go lift whenever I want. It's made the mental aspect of things immensely more difficult though, but I'd rather not go into too much detail there.
It was my first meet in almost a year. My last one being the Arnold Classic, in March 2018. Due to a freak accident where the gym's power went out while I was in the hole with a heavy squat causing me to rough up a quad tendon and setting me back significantly for a few months. I got back to NY just as the injury started to heal, though, and training just absolutely took off.
Pre-Meet
I was weighing anywhere between 165-167 throughout my last month or two of training, making this the first prep I've ever been over weight class for. I came into this meet simultaneously the largest and the leanest I've ever been in my life. It felt insane.
Berto and I decided to do a full water cut because I wasn't too concerned about this meet, making it the perfect time to experiment. I ended up weighing in at 72.75kg on the meet scale the morning of the meet... for an afternoon session. 160lbs. So I ate into weigh ins, and ended up stepping on the scale officially at 73.15kg.
I felt super flat and depleted, but I knew it was temporary. When I gave my openers to the official coordinating the weigh ins, he looked at me and said "Wow... are you lifting equipped?" I have never had my ego stroked so hard in my life. Kinda liked it, not gonna lie, and it calmed the few butterflies I had at that point.
After weigh-ins I chugged a liter of Pedialyte advantage care mixed with two packets of Trioral rehydration salts for a whopping 6.4 grams of sodium. I also took my daily supplements of fish oil, glucosamine, and Vitamin D, along with a scoop of creatine monohydrate. I shit you not, I literally felt my body expanding and my muscles filling back up over the fifteen minutes following weigh ins. I could feel my shirt get tighter. It was surreal... I also ended up feeling like I was going to puke for a little bit, but that passed and I ended up being fine.
For the rest of the first hour after weigh ins, I just sat around, shot the shit with some friends, pounded water, crushed some chips and easily digestible carbs, and got my head right.
I had my second family, the amazing people from the Murder of Crows Barbell Club in Brooklyn there to handle both their fearless leader Sean Collins and myself, so I let them handle my warmup timing. I couldn't have asked for a better meet day crew. These guys are some of the best people in powerlifting today, hands down. Just some of the nicest, most helpful and welcoming people you'll ever meet. Competing alongside Sean was probably one of the chillest meet day experiences I've ever had. Dude had a great meet as well, and I'm super happy I got the chance to see it start to finish.
Squats
Bench
Deadlifts
My deadlift this prep was nothing short of phenomenal. It absolutely exploded compared to previous meet cycles and I was hitting rep PRs almost constantly. Things finally seemed to click for me.
Aftermath
8/9. Best total I've ever hit by 20kg. Felt pretty damn solid.
Went out for Hibachi with some friends afterwards, got steak and lobster and sake, and ate like an overall goon for a bit because I hadn't for five months prior.
I had a client lifting the next day, so I had to stay up in Albany despite the snow storm. That wasn't too fun.
My client did amazingly though! He went 9/9 with PRs on all three lifts, including an 84lbs squat meet PR. I was honestly more excited for him than I was for myself. So damn proud of him.
Joey gave me the green light to sign up for NYS Champs in early June. I'll be competing against another MoC Barbell friend, and upcoming 74kg stud, Kevin Tran, so it'll be great to have him there to push me. I'm going to be gunning for 1600. With 20 weeks to train, who knows what will happen.
submitted by informedly_baffled to powerlifting [link] [comments]


2018.08.20 05:08 dropshot dropshot visits the Western & Southern

(This is gonna be long)
You know, I didn't grow up going to watch sports. When I was a kid, we didn't watch football games live, nor basketball, nor baseball. It wasn't something my parents were into. Sports were just what you watched on TV.
Even as I stayed in the DC area in the 1990s, and I knew there was a tennis tournament, one that I'd seen as a teenager during the early cable era of the 1980s when USA network was as likely to cover a tournament as one of the major stations. There was that strange experiment in the mid-70s where US tournaments suddenly became clay. It was an American kind of clay called Har-Tru, so-called green clay, but maybe more of a green-gray. It was faster than the red European variety. It was interesting because there weren't that many Americans that were good on clay.
The US Open switched to clay in 1975, but then move venues from venerable Forest Hills, where it had a faint veneer of the elitism of the country club, to the so-called urban jungle of Flushing Meadows. They called it the house that Slew built, named after Slew Hester, the USTA president who pushed for the new site where the US Open now stands. It was the first Slam to be played on hard courts, and certainly not the last.
Despite this change, the US summer circuit was still played on clay. It used to consist of four tournaments: Boston, DC, then one held in New Hampshire and changed venues to Vermont and New Haven, and finally the US Clay Court Championships held in Indianapolis. These tournaments remained on clay until about 1985 when someone must have figured tennis in the US is better played on hard courts, and the tournaments switched to that surface.
In the meanwhile, while it was still on clay, the earliest signs of the Bollettieri phenoms were just rearing their heads. They included diminutive Jimmy Arias and shy Aaron Krickstein. They competed against the like of Jose Luis Clerc and Andres Gomes. The North American clay court circuit was more likely to attract Americans of a different sort, those from South America, rather than the American stars of the day, like Jimmy Connors, John McEnroe, or Vitas Gerulaitis. Even veteran clay courters like Borg didn't really play this part of the circuit, and pretty soon, he didn't play at all, courtesy of an early retirement.
So I watched the tournament that Donald Dell built. Dell was an American tennis player who eventually quit and got a law degree, and started his own agency to represent the stars, and since he knew tennis, they were primarily tennis stars. These were the days before every American sports athlete found themselves an agent. Dell was a pioneer in the Wild West of pro athletics.
Ashe once told him that if he would build a tournament in DC, and have it so anyone could watch, not just those who had the money to be in the country clubs, he would sign up to play. The DC event started in 1969 and has gone under several names in its existence. It was known as the Washington Star International, then the Sovran Bank Classic (a name I first heard), then briefly as the Newsweek Tennis Classic, then the Legg Mason, and finally its current incarnation, the Citi Open.
The Citi Open was briefly its own tournament held at the same junior training site that Frances Tiafoe (and Denis Kudla) trained at, which was located in College Park, where the flagship University of Maryland is located. For that one year, it was a WTA event while the Legg Mason was held in DC. Eventually, the Citi Open replaced the Legg Mason, and it became an ATP/WTA event.
So I knew that there was a tournament, but it never occurred to me to go watch it. I didn't know the mechanics of how to purchase a ticket, how to arrive to the tournament, what I'd do there. I think I'd been living in the DC area nearly ten years before I went, and I don't even fully recall when or where.
My first memory of attending the Citi Open (back then, the Legg Mason) was in 2006. That summer, there was word that Andre Agassi was hurt, and that maybe this would be his last stop in DC. It seemed he was conserving his energy to make one last run at the US Open, maybe his version of the Connors last hurrah of 1991. Back then, Agassi was still with Brad Gilbert, and Gilbert had taken another Andy under his wing (after he and Roddick split), namely, Andy Murray. Murray's rank was still rather in the double digits. I knew of him, but not his game that well. I had mostly stopped watching pro tennis by 2006, so I was even only vaguely aware of Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal, neither of whom were inclined to visit DC.
Andre came because he liked DC and if memory serves, Dell represented him. A lot of Americans came to DC. Chang came as well. Ivan Lendl played (and won) DC (he became a US citizen). By 2006, the sports biggest names weren't really coming to DC. Even Murray, who made the final that year, didn't come back for another decade. As of 2018, he'd only played DC three times, the last one leaving him in tears after a lengthy match in front of a sparse crowd against one Marius Copil.
I'd been to the US Open even less. One back in 1991 when I'd just moved to the DC area, and once again in 2013. The biggest change since the first time was Arthur Ashe stadium a huge behemoth of a building. It was roofless back then, but it was enormous.
The Citi Open is, by all accounts, a fairly small tournament. Yes, it's an ATP 500, but it feels like a 250 event. It has one main center court, with two tiers. You get reasonably good view of the court no matter where you are when you're there. It also has maybe 4-5 makeshift courts that can seat maybe 300 people each? It's grown some since the event became mixed, men and women.
Matches tend to start late, around 4 PM, to address the concerns of players who don't like DC's famed heat and humidity. Action continues til about 11 PM, but rain has been known to extend how late play goes.
To arrive at the tournament, the tournament recommends taking a Metro (subway) stop at Friendship Heights, or parking in some lots near there. Then, a shuttle take about ten minutes to take you from their to the tournament site. For a few dollars more, you can drive to the site, and park your car on the grass. If it gets too rainy, the grass surface gets muddy, and they may say that you can't park on site. You pay for the privilege of parking on site.
On site, there are some restaurants. Food and drink are pricey. Think movie theater prices. This year, the Citi Open sold cans of beer for 10 dollars each, and a 20 ounce water bottle for 5 dollars. Food is typically between 10 and 20 dollars. They don't like you to bring your own food and water, and bags are checked at the entrance. Security, you know.
Visiting Cincy
I had been going to the Citi Open, usually watching the first Sunday of qualifying over many years. Not every year, but many. You may think it's not interesting to watch qualifying, but some pros in the main draw come early, and it seems that pros are required (and perhaps want to) to have public practice sessions where they practice anywhere from half an hour to an hour a day.
If you're brave and agile, you might be able to get close to a star, and get a selfie. The concept was unknown when I was there in 2006. I took a picture of Agassi and Murray using a point and shoot camera, still my weapon of choice. This skill, I'd later learn, one needs to hone, if one can manage to get over the embarrassment (or rudeness, depending on who you ask) of asking for said selfie.
I had always wanted to go to one of the Masters 1000 held in the US. There are 9 overall, and three are held in the US. Indian Wells, Miami, and Cincinnati. Indian Wells and Miami end the first of two hard court seasons in the US. The first is relatively brief, and many of those tournaments no longer exist, e.g. San Jose and Memphis. Indian Wells seemed far away and expensive. Miami felt similar. If there was one tournament I wanted to go, it was Cincinnati. It was also the one Roger Federer was most likely to show up (he also likes Indian Wells). There is, of course, another North American Masters 1000 which is held in Canada.
A few months ago I went to an Essential Tennis clinic held in Milwaukee. I hadn't been back to Wisconsin since the last time they held a clinic there, in 2012. Back then, I met a guy that was local to Wisconsin. We briefly talked. I had mentioned I planned to visit Madison (I like visiting college campuses, and it was not so far away), and he lived in Madison. We stayed in touch mostly through the Essential Tennis facebook group where we'd see our occasional posts. We again met in the recent Essential Tennis clinic.
He mentioned that he had two week long tickets to Cincy, and that he had been going the past few years, and his usual friend that went with him wasn't interested that year. I was reluctant to buy tickets for the whole week mostly because of the hotel costs. I wasn't into AirBnB (still not into it), and the hotels jack their prices for the event so that it's about $100 a night unless you want to stay at a Motel 8. And this isn't even the fancier hotels.
He said he'd be willing to sell the tickets one event at a time (I didn't have to buy the week's worth), so the economics meant it was cheaper to buy the first 3 days. The last 3 days (as priced as individual tickets) would have cost as much as buying the whole week. In any case, there's a lot more tennis happening in the early parts, and you never know when someone might get upset early.
I flew into Cincy on Sunday afternoon. Qualies had already started, but I was a bit tired, and didn't plan on watching the tournament until Monday.
Now, Cincy is known for a few restaurants. Its most famous restaurant is Skyline Chili. It's a chain that sells a certain style of chili known as Cincinnati chili. Chili, for those that don't know it, is a tomato based soup usually made with ground beef, and sometimes beans. It's frequently fiery hot heated by chili peppers, say, jalapenos or maybe habaneros, or perhaps Chef John's famous shake-uh, shake-uh, cayenne pepper.
Chili has been known to have religious wars surrounding what makes an authentic chili and beans are at the center of that war. Should a chili have beans or shouldn't it?
And don't even talk about white chicken chili which, to some, doesn't qualify as chili, and is considered more of a white bean stew.
Cincinnati chili is it own thing. Apparently (before my time), Cincinnati struggled, as much of the US did, during the great depression. Finding creative ways to eat was key to survival in those days, and no city celebrates the cuisine that came out of this era as Cincinnati. The basic Cincy chili is not a soup or stew. It's called the three-way. It is spaghetti, covered by a thin layer of chili, followed by a mountain of shredded cheese. The shredded cheese has the consistency of cotton candy with wisps of thinly sliced cheese with an airy consistency. Cheese must have been cheap back then.
The most famous of the Cincy chili restaurant is Skyline Chili. I suppose the next most famous is Gold Star Chili. It is a chain restaurant, and if you grew up in Cincy, you'd think this restaurant was everywhere, but it's mostly just in Cincy.
And it's sadly disappointing. As begets its frugal start, there is a ton of cheese on this dish, and not a huge amount of meat or spaghetti. The chili itself lacks the fire you expect in a chili. It is bland with its most dominant flavor being cinnamon. But the locals seem to like it, and tourists seem obligated to humor the locals by sampling it.
Cincy is also known for the chain ice cream shop, Graeter's. For ice cream, it's a step up. At least, it's sweet and cold, and not too expensive.
I visited both places on Sunday, but it turns out the tournament has its own.
My friend asked if I wanted to see the "stars" at the player hotel. The players stay at a Marriott which has a breakfast buffer. My own hotel, not quite a Marriott, but reasonably suitable, and its own breakfast buffet.
Having been in enough hotels, the complimentary breakfast is that American experience that most Americans that travel understand. The breakfast typically consists of heated pans of scrambled eggs, breakfast potatoes (they) are small cubes of potatoes that are usually browned in the oven, sometimes premade pancakes, or biscuits and gravy, and some fruit, yogurt, coffee, a variety of juices. Those familiar with the experience also know about the do-it-yourself waffle maker where you fill tiny cups lined with wax (or something) with waffle batter into a waffle iron. Fill it up, close it, turn in 180 degrees, wait for it to beep, figure out, using the tools provided, how to extract said waffle from said waffle iron.
So, it turns out, despite the fact that top tennis pros go to the Marriott (not my hotel), the experience is roughly the same, except much nicer. The eggs look more appetizing, there's sausage and bacon, several varieties of yogurt, and yes, if you want the waffle, they will make it for you without the self-serve parts, and at no extra charge. Is it pricey for $17? Sure, but you're paying not just for the food, but to see the stars.
OK, those stars don't include Federer, Nadal, or Djokovic, but they do include the next tier. You just have to know either the ATP or WTA tour very well otherwise they just look like pros.
I arrived around 8:30 AM at the Marriott. I met up with my friend, and we sat at a table, and got the buffet. It seems, at one point, he (and possibly a friend) had bumped into Philipp Kohlschreiber who happened to like that most American of breakfast delights, frosted flakes. As we were being seated, we saw Patrick Moroutoglou, Serena's coach, sitting by himself. One thing you rarely notice on TV (for good reason) is the man has quads.
We also saw Andrey Rublev, the tall Russian player, and his coach, a guy with a beard and blond tints over brown hair, as if he had just lost an Andre Agassi look-alike contest. He seemed vaguely French, but he was actually a Spaniard.
A few minutes later, we saw someone that I had seen a few times on TV. That is, Denis Shapavalov's mother, who kinda looks like an aged East European tennis star, sort of that Martina, Jana Novotna, Hana Mandlikova look. I believe she was there with the coach, Martin Laurendeau, but she's probably as much coach as he is, and she travels with him.
Shapovalov showed up a few minutes later, and dropped his large Yonex bag. He didn't say much, but my friend and I were talking about one-handed backhands, comparing his to, say, Tsitsipas. My friend swore Shapo was eavesdropping, and I admitted, I might have talked a little louder hoping he'd do the same. I was hoping he'd leave his empty plate for me to photograph, but he was clever, and covered whatever he ate with the cloth napkin.
I also briefly saw Ivo Karlovic leaving the hotel site, and also the chair umpire, Damien Dumusois, who umpired the final between Federer and Djokovic. He was entertaining two other people.
My friend happens to be a big WTA fan, so he knows players I don't know. We sat near Maria Sakkari (of Greece) and her coach. It seems the mainstay of WTA tennis that most women are coached my venerable men.
Then, we drove over to the site of the tournament.
Compared to the Citi Open, the Western & Southern is huge. Everything the Citi Open does, Cincy does even bigger. You turn on a street called Paul Flory Way and it takes you past a building called Cintas, then you see the site and cars parking. Now, unlike the Citi Open, Cincy has free parking. It also has paid parking if you want to park close (a la Djokovic). As you drive along this road, it seems cars are turning left, and it seems you'll be one of those blessed to turn left, but the public parking is in the boonies. If there are cars going straight, you keep going straight. You'll be fooled maybe 3 or 4 times into thinking you can go left, but it's not for you.
Eventually, you'll be lead by volunteers to turn. The parking area consists of narrow strips of grass alternating with gravel. Each strip of grass is large enough to allow two cars to park, one behind the other, and wide enough to have maybe 30-40 cars? So maybe 60-80 cars per strip?
It seems like their are no labels, but if you wisely (unlike me) walk to the main road from the strip of grass, there are wooden stakes with tiny numbers starting at 86 and going to 99 and higher. It's useful to take note of these numbers if you want to return to your car in a timely manner, as I did not the first day I went. I spent 15 minute wandering around, and finally used the alarm feature in my remote to locate the car. At that point, I was some 5 cars away from where the car was located.
So, locate these markers, so you can find your car. Don't be Novak Djokovic (or me).
What should you bring to the tournament? If you read the restrictions, you're not allowed to bring a backpack. You can bring a cinch-sack. The primary difference between that and a backpack appears to be the use of something between twine and rope that serves as replacements for straps. These things can be quite tiny. I had a larger model made by Under Armour, with a separate pocket. That was useful to carry tickets, sunscreen, etc.
What should you carry inside the bag? I suggest a few things. First, sunscreen. You'll be outdoors for hours, and unless your melanin is off the charts, sunscreen lotion is useful. You're also allowed to bring a liter of water in an unmarked plastic bottle. Or you can buy Evian or Dasani, since they have some affiliation with the tournament. This is nice because I think DC doesn't quite do the same. I'd probably bring a cap to block the sun. I'd think of a large bath towel, in case it rains.
You don't think of it, but when it rains, they only dry the courts. The metal benches you sit on? Not so much. A towel can be useful to dry the benches so you can sit on it. Also, even if it doesn't rain, the towel can be used to sit on, as the benches are not conducive to pain free watching. Yes, it won't bother you the first ten or so hours sitting, but once you're in day 2 and hitting 20 hours, the towel might help alleviate pain to the derriere.
You might want to bring a smaller towel. If the sun is beating down on you, you might want to cover your knees or arms with a white towel to block the sun.
The other thing that's useful is to locate the place they sell water and ice. Apparently, they gave it away for free last year, but this year, it was $1 for a plastic cup and ice. By the men and women's bathroom, there's both a water fountain and water dispensers, that dispense water powerful enough to propel small rockets. With the ice and cup, you can have cold water that's cheaper than the $4 for the small or $5.50 for the liter.
Let's get to prices. You'd think Cincy would be costlier than DC for food and stuff, but DC seems more expensive, and they don't have options for drinking water cheaply. So, 20 oz of water in DC is $5 but for fifty more cents, you can get cold bottled water for $5.50. Beer is $8 (unless you get the fancier local brews), but $10 in DC (prices went up this year). You can get tequila as well, but that will be close to $20. I believe Powerade was $6. Hot dogs and brats were also $6.
There are about 10 restaurants in a semi-circular area. The DC restaurants are in booths where the line of people stand in the sun. In Cincy, the sellers are recessed inside a tent so the first dozen or so people come underneath a tent and are shaded from the sun. They sell coffee, pizza, Greek food, Italian food, sushi, gluten-free foods, bbq chicken/pork, etc. The prices are, again, somewhat like movie theaters.
The first day, I ate lunch at an Italian place, getting the equivalent of an Italian burrito. The second day, I ate at a Greek place. I discovered Greek fries taste like normal fries. I also had the gyros. The third day, I ate at a seafood place getting a seafood salad. That was the most expensive at nearly $20. I think typical prices are about $12, but you could get pizza at $4 a slice, and there was a Skyline Chili for $9 (more expensive than the actual restaurant, unless they served the large size) and Graeter's ice cream.
It's useful to visit Cincy at least two days unless you have a really good sense of direction, which I don't. After you make the trek from the parking lot to the entrance (you enter from the North Entrance, but the East entrance is a secondary way to enter if it gets too crowded). You have your bag (either a cinch-sack or a tote bag) inspected. Sometimes it's scrutinized, sometimes not so much. They also want you to empty pockets so they can see what metal items you have.
Then, you get your ticket scanned. Tickets are divided into day and night session, and you pay for both. These ticket are basically like getting tickets for Ashe stadium. You have a reserved seat in Center Court, but you can go anywhere else with that ticket (with some exceptions of which parts of the court you can sit). Basically, if there's a metal bench, your ticket should let you sit there. If it was seats or is covered by shade (which also have individual seats), then you need a different (more expensive) class of tickets.
The night tickets only let you in after 5 PM, so again, it resembles the US Open's night session. You can still watch anything off Center Court after 5 PM with daytime tickets. They don't even bother to check the daytime tickets in any court outside the Center Court, and often, not the Center Court either.
When you get in, it's useful to gather your bearings. As you head in, you'll see the Center Court in front. There are some booths and a court on the left (I think that's Court 10). The biggest court is Center Court, and it's huge. It's attached to a secondary court behind it (that is, walk to Center Court, then it curves either left or right...head left and follow the exterior of center court to Grandstand).
Center Court is useful to know because the rest rooms are on the ground of Center Court (from the outside of the court). There are also places to get food (hot dogs, burgers), as well as the cups and ice, and a new "market" to pick up premade sandwiches, drinks, frozen lemonade, etc.
You should also pass the row of restaurants on your left, and see the Midwest tent and other booths on the right. The Midwest tent is huge. They sell clothing, racquets, t-shirts, towels, pads to sit on, etc. It's also air conditioned, but they won't let you bring open bottled water or cups with drinks inside.
Prior to reaching Center Court, you may want to head left to East entrance. You should see Court 10. I think the four biggest courts are Center Court, Grandstand, Court 10, and Court 3. After that, they get quite a bit smaller. Even Grandstand is a fair bit smaller than Center. The one plus is some top players play on Grandstand (Djokovic, for example), and you can sit very close, as long as you get into the court soon enough, which may mean getting their for the end of the previous match.
By Court 10, there should be a number of other courts. Some are smaller courts for the less famous. Some are practice courts. If you download the Western and Southern app, you can find practice times. Just be aware that Federer's practices are super crowded. Everyone wants to peek at him. Sometimes they put him on a bigger court, but sometimes they put him on the smaller practice courts.
Day 1
On the first day, I spent time with my friend, the one that's a huge WTA fan. I didn't go to Center Court on Day 1 at all, so I missed some big names. My friend likes Larsson, and Rebecca Peterson (since she's friends with Larsson) and Svitolina and Bertens and a few others.
First match I watched was Nishikori-Rublev. Rublev had just had breakfast some 2 hours earlier, so he didn't head to the stadium that early. We were able to see his coach. I think we watched a set. Nishikori won the first, and eventually took it in straight sets.
Then, we caught practice sessions with Pliskova and Hurkacz (not with each other). He was supposed to practice with Kohlschriber, but we didn't see him. Also saw Querrey and Johnson practicing with each other. We saw Peterson and Larsson practicing with one another. There were probably less than a dozen players watching this practice.
Also saw Shapovalov play Tiafoe. This looked to be a match Tiafoe would win. He was down a break in the third, but broke back, then broke to get ahead and serve for the match. But he got broken twice, and Shapo managed to win. So it looks like we were good luck for Shapo.
I caught the tail end of Murray vs. Pouille. Murray still doesn't look 100%. He pushed the match to a third set. By then, Pouille was up a break, and both held serve until Pouille won.
As it turns out, I watched set 1 of Shapo/Tiafoe, left to get something to eat, then watched the end of Murray/Pouille, and came back to watch set 3 of Shapo/Tiafoe. It's frequently the case that one watches part of a match, and leaves to watch another, or take a break.
I caught the end of FerrePaire. Paire wasn't unhappy today, but Ferrer was making mistake after mistake. He seemed to want points to end quickly, and they did, but after Ferrer errors. Paire won something like 2 and 2.
I saw the Zverev brothers play a practice set with each other, and saw Djokovic practicing. I climbed on the metal bleachers to get high enough, and my camera has 25x zoom. We saw Rebecca Peterson play Siniakova. This turned out to be an entertaining match.
Now, as I said, my friend's a big WTA fan, so at this point, Djokovic is playing Steve Johnson, but we're out watching this match. Somewhere in the second set, someone spots a raccoon. It's across from us, up in the stands. Now, you would think everyone would watch Djokovic, but given any tournament, there's always fans that prefer watching lesser known players, so maybe there's 100 of us, and maybe 20 on the other side, mostly near the front.
Security folks are trying to chase this raccoon, but presumably, avoid getting bitten. This takes a long time. The players playing, Peterson and Siniakova, seem oblivious. Finally, they push the raccoon from one side the bleachers to the other side (I think we're on Court 10), and down the stairs. But surprise, surprise, raccoons are good climbers, and it climbs up a pole and to the top of the fence and starts walking down the railing (of sorts) at the top of the fence.
Siniakova is the higher ranked player, and wins the first set, but Peterson is a powerful hitter, and eventually wins the next two sets. By then, the match between Djokovic and Johnson is nearing conclusion. We rush to Center Court, climb the stairs, and watch the end of the second set tiebreak. It's already past 10 pm.
There's actually another match on, but I'd been there since 10 AM, and it was past 10 PM, so I'd been there 12 hours, and was rather tired.
Live vs. TV
Watching a match live is very different than watching it on TV. First, you never know what angle you'll get. Most tournaments have the seats for the common folk on the sideline, so you're watching tennis at an angle you don't see on TV. This gives you a better sense of pace. It also means it's hard to tell strategy.
But one positive tradeoff is you get a sense of how high the players hit the ball. You also get a sense of when a ball is hit slowly, and therefore, the other player can hit a winner off it. Sometimes you watch a player hit a winner, and it looks like they are doing it because they can. Quite frequently, it's because the other player has hit a weak shot off the prior shot, and this lets the player pounce on the ball.
Also, when you watch women's matches, you find that most serves are returned, so there is usually a rally. Those rallies may seem boring on TV, but when you see a Raonic match and he booms a few aces, those are just as boring live as on TV. Yes, you get a sense of the pace, but it doesn't make for good tennis viewing. If you really pay attention to the women's game, you'll start to see strategy.
For example, Peterson was slugging it out with Siniakova. That's her game. But her coach eventually had her hitting mini-moonballs, and this started to disrupt Siniakova's game, and eventually lead to a loss. Also, sometimes a player starts out a little nervous in a set, and then plays much better in the next set. Again, that's what happened to Peterson.
After the Djokovic match ended, there was a mad rush to get to the cars. However, I didn't exactly know where my car was. So, I walked around for a few rows, when I finally decided after about 15 minutes, to turn on my car alarm via the remote. The car, which was mere feet from me, flashed, and I finally got in. It took maybe 15 minutes or so to get off site because of all the cars trying to leave (and which got a head start).
I made it back to the hotel, where I was still buzzing for almost an hour after the match ended. My friend, who has been attending for a while, had brought serious camera (a Canon DSLR), and was spending the night at an AirBnb processing the photos he had taken that day. He had one of those mongo lenses to get close up pics. Technically, you're not supposed to bring such big cameras, but they don't seem to care.
Day 2
I had had breakfast at my hotel, but ended up going to a diner of sorts called Scramblers or something which was very near my hotel. While the quality of breakfast was better, it cost me nearly $20. I was told by a friend of my friend that I should have eaten at the Marriott for that price.
I should have.
I was tired the second day and wondered how I'd manage to stay awake, but turns out I got a second wind. I arrived at the site around 10 AM or possibly earlier. It's a good idea to arrive before the 11 AM start. You get to see practices which happen throughout the day, and you can get a sense of the layout.
I forgot to mention one part of Center Court. I mentioned that if you head from North Entrance directly to Center Court, then head left along the outer perimeter, you eventually reach Grandstand (and some other practice courts). If you head right and go around, you eventually get to a section called the Fan Zone. These are fenced off areas (sort of those metal gates that they set up temporarily when they want, say, parade viewers, not to jump into the street) and fans stand beside them. When the pros come onsite, they walk past the fans, get there stuff checked through security, then head indoors.
It's also a chance for fans to get selfies or at least take pictures. Yes, this is a thing.
Did I mention? My friend is a master at getting selfies. One advantage of liking the WTA (I mean, he also likes Federer) and liking some of the more obscure players is that few people get selfies with them, and they're more amenable to selfies. For example, we watched the end of Bertens-Wozniacki. This was a night match on Wednesday on Grandstand. Wozniacki retired.
So, my friend knows the layout, know where the player exits, and we head down there (this is Wednesday night), and as Bertens exits, he asks for a picture, and she says yes (apparently, she doesn't mind the attention). And, he gets another pic with her the next day! This is clearly a skill I lack partly because I find it embarrassing, but the pros don't seem to mind, and certainly fans like the idea of being with someone famous. He tried to help me get a pick with Hyeon Chung, but Chung wasn't into it.
Not everyone is really fond of it (though many realize it comes with the territory). I was told Sloane Stephens really doesn't like to interact with the crowd. She's gone so far (so I hear) to pre-sign tennis balls and hand them out.
On Tuesday, I finally step into Center Court. OK, I'd been there briefly at Djokovic-Johnson, but I come in, find where my seat is. Later on, I plan to watch Chung play Sock. There's some practice going on. One reason to get to the court early is to get into Center Court, walk down to the front row, and take pics of the practice. Normally, the lower bowl is for those that have money, so like the US Open, unless you sneak down there, you aren't watching match from down there.
Sock takes the opening set because Chung is misfiring. I decide to leave after the first set even though I think Chung could come back since Sock has been playing horrible this year. Turns out Chung wins handily. What I don't know is Chung is hurt, and this eventually means he loses handily to del Potro. Goes to show what shape Sock is in.
During this match, a cameraman is sitting at the end of the bench I'm on. Turns out they plan to give someone two free tickets to sit closer to the front. I head over to watch Raonic play Lajovic. This ends quickly with Raonic hitting huge serves then breaking. Raonic is a large man. He's not only tall, but broad.
Until I see Chung practice, I didn't realize he's similarly huge. He's not as tall as Raonic, but he's broad. He's still around 6'2". So when I say huge, I don't mean just in height, but legs, body, everything. This is something you miss on live TV.
Remember I said we sat by Sakkari and her coach for breakfast on Monday? We watch her play Naomi Osaka on Tuesday. Osaka has a huge serve. Most women, these days, hit 100 mph on their first serve. This means, yes, they can hit the back fence with their serve. I hit maybe 60 mph (or slower). This does not reach the back fence (which is closer in) unless I hit long. Osaka can crank it up to 120 mph. Even so, it's Sakkari, the Greek player, that wins the match.
There's a discussion about how much (or little) Japanese that Osaka speaks. At least, Japan, often known as a xenophobic country, has readily embraced players that want to represent Japan. For example, Taro Daniel (also half Japanese) represents Japan as well.
I catch some practices including a shirtless Kevin Anderson. I think, how does a white guy deal with that much sun? But he eventually puts on a shirt. Also see Bethanie Mattek-Sands playing doubles with Safarova. They put them on a small court, and it's crowded. Probably not the best decision.
I see Medvedev playing Coric. Coric wins handily. Then, off to Center Court to watch Tsitsipas play Goffin. Tsitsipas had just played the final of Toronto, and he played in the semis of DC the week before. So we think he must be tired. Although some people expect him to beat Goffin, Goffin is the winner.
Off to watch the women's match. This time, it's Kiki vs. Coco. Coco is being coached by Pat Cash, but Kiki is the better player. She pretty much dominates on serve despite not hitting faster than 110 mph. Coco loses 2 and 0.
I sit to watch Federer play Gojoczwk in the first evening match. Despite the Polish name, Gojoczwk plays for Germany. He's got a pretty big serve. Not Raonic big, but faster than Fed. Still, this is a match that is a typical Fed match.
If you'd ask Fed how he wants to win his matches, he'd say "Hold my serve without break points, and break once a set". So this match fits this to a T. This is one of those matches where it's just as dull to watch it live as it is on TV. There aren't a lot of great points in this, and Gojoczwk gets broken once per set even though I think he had a lead in both those games.
This also shows how people stake claims on seats. I'm sitting at the seat I'm assigned to which is in the middle of the bench. 2-3 guys are on my far right end. Over the beginning of the match, they move closer and closer to me. If my friend shows up, he has a seat beside me. He's opting to watch Svitolina vs. Kuznetsova, because he's a big WTA fan. Then, two guys say they have seats near me, so they essentially kick out the folks who have commandeered their spots. The same thing happens in the row in front of me.
Basically taking someone else's seat is usually not a problem because few sit in Center Court all day long, so seats remain empty. People then move to seats that aren't assigned to them to get a better spot. Except when Federer is playing, more people are there to sit in their seats. Anyway, sitting at your seat is not well regulated at all. Some even move from the general vicinity of their seats to way up in front which would cost them more money if they pay for it.
Apparently, some even get upset that they're being kicked out of seats they "stole". How dare you kick me out of seats I didn't really have tickets for. It's these minor infractions that people are willing to get away with.
One other thing. It turns out there's a big deal to change nets between men's and women's matches. Men's matches have nets with the ATP World Tour logo at the bottom. To do this, they use some rubber nets that allow for printing. The women's net are still the standard rope/twine nets. So physically, the nets are completely removed (poles too) and swapped out for the other nets. Basically, they are getting ready for Serena vs Kvitova.
I head to the Svitolina vs. Kuznetsova match. My friend is there with his friend. They've met on a common like of Svitolina. They encourage me to do what's known as a slow clap which is to clap slowly. Now, apparently coaches and such will do this to encourage their pupil. Actually, I find this to be a pretty competitive match.
But my friend and friend's friend are nowhere near what people go to support their woman. Twice in the third set, Kuznetsova is down break point, and twice, someone on the opposite side of the court says "Break, break, break!" and Kuznetsova can hear this. And, both times, Kuznetsova makes an error and is broken. Svitolina eventually gets the win.
My friends have secured seating in the very front row along the net. I am able to get down to site beside them. Both decide to leave after this match, but I decide to watch Shapovalov play Kyle Edmund. At that vantage point, they are very close, and you can see how hard they hit. With Shapo's unusual backhand motion, I'm surprise how consistently he hits. He gets a late break in the first set and wins.
In the second set, he gets up two breaks. Someone in the audience basically advises him how to win (hit winners or something). Instead, Shapo gets broken back twice. It's now 4-all. Someone yells out "It's break time" and this seems to fire Shapo up who starts being more aggressive, and holds his serve. Edmund then ties it up 5-all. Shapo holds again, and then he gets a series of break points which Edmund fends off for a while, but eventually gets the break and wins the match. It is almost midnight.
The difference between the two is Shapo's backhand is better than Edmund's and Shapo is taking a few more risks, and fends off his break points just a bit better. In the first set, Edmund's able to use his serve to save break points, but Shapo gets more opportunities, esp. later when he reads the return better.
Oh, also, when Shapo is down break points, Shapo's mom brings out the slow clap. While Shapo is frustrated getting broken back, he glares at his mother, who does the "stay focused" look. At the end, Shapo's mom high fives those near her (presumably with her).
....MORE IN COMMENTS...
submitted by dropshot to tennis [link] [comments]


2018.07.27 18:22 drihaveissues Contemplating my issues with my parents (LONG!)

I recently came back from a trip visiting my brother and his family. He has 2 great boys, and it made me think a little about my future. Do I want kids? Will I be a complete screw-up of a parent? This led me to contemplate my own upbringing and I'd like to share it here - mostly for catharsis.
I am a very lucky person. I am originally from a poor, difficult country. When I was 3 years old, my mother managed to find a job in Europe and a few years later, we moved there permanently and eventually got citizenship. I have been able to go to a good school, graduate university and finish my PhD. I now have my dream job - I'm a scientist! I have a wonderful boyfriend and, honestly, I can't complain about my daily life.
Despite all this, it's been a bit rough getting to this point. I'd like to get it all off my chest and continue to heal now that I am independent. Perhaps I'll consider going to therapy - if you have any kind of experience with the issues described below, please do let me know. It's really hard for me to gauge these things.
The first part is about my mother - it's more petty and angsty; the second part is about my father - darker, sadder.
My mother is a strange lady. She's a beautiful woman who's been told her entire life that she's pretty. She's also very sociable and charming. In addition, she's also clever and hard-working - she managed to make a career from nothing and move her entire family to Europe and sustain us. So when she found out that she is going to have a daughter, I'm sure she was very thrilled. When I young, she would dress me up in nice dresses and tell me how cute I was. As I grew up, I gained more weight. Not that much, mind you, but enough to have a little belly. At this point, she started hinting that I am fat, but always "assured" me that when I grow up, I'll get thinner. For the remainder of my childhood, I was always a little chubby - in retrospect, it wasn't actually that bad; I simply not skinny. As I grew up a bit more, her comments became increasingly hostile - probably because it was obviously not a matter of growing out of the fat "phase". She would constantly make me feel ashamed about the way I look - just a few examples:
Even when she needs to (rightfully) point out some blunders, she does it in such a horrible way. When I used to try to pluck my eyebrows as a teenager, I would sometimes… not do it quite right. Oh well, it's a learning process, time to grow some bangs! When she noticed, her response was always mockery. Not even a quick laugh and suggesting maybe next time we go to the salon next time. Mockery, calling in x relative into the room and laughing about it with them. Then, even when it's fixed, reminding me and continuing to mock me.
It's made me very insecure about my appearance in general. Even now, as an adult, I am at a healthy BMI, and yet I still feel like I am not thin enough. I acknowledge that my metabolism/bone structure or whatever dictates that I'll never be ballerina, but as far as I know, I'm perfectly healthy. When growing up, I never really thought of how strange it was for her to nitpick so strongly on this one aspect of my being. I just feel so sad that this is how she views me, and how a lot of my personal struggles stemmed from this. Surely, if a parent were to criticise their child for something, it would be to make them a better person?
This is unfortunately not something that has changed. Even now, when I'm wearing loose clothes (because comfy!), she would tell me that I look terrible. I almost started yelling at her a couple of Christmases ago when I went to see her for 3 days. I was in the midst of writing up my PhD thesis and finding a job, so naturally I'd gained a few pounds (I admit that I am a snacker when writing is involved). She told when I arrived that she was so shocked to see me, that I look awful, that she's worried about what my boyfriend thinks of me etc. I just couldn't believe it! I was stressed out of my mind and this is what she was concerned about?
Did I mention how incredibly toxic she is? The most obvious example of this is her relationship with my brother's wife (and her family). My brother is her little princeling who could do nothing wrong. He went and married a girl she didn't approve of - a shy lady who is Russian and raised in Canada. She doesn't like the Wife's personality or her background. She constantly picks a fight with the Wife, or makes rude comments all of the time and is downright disruptive. Even now when there are two little boys in the picture, my mother becomes so unpleasant. She even has the audacity to call the Wife's family "immigrants". Hello?? What are we??
She is also incredibly immature in her relationships. After divorcing my father (for good reason, mind you), she started dating a married man. She bullied this poor man to leave his wife and used any means necessary to get what she wanted - this involved a lot of emotional abuse. At every step, she would sit me down and try to get my view on this by acting really nice to me. Whenever I told her that I think she's wrong, she just scoffs and tells me that I'm too young to know what I'm talking about. The most recent drama? She found out that her partner was having an affair and managed to blackmail him into selling his property and buying her a brand spanking new house. She threatened to write to his ex-wife (and thus have this be known to his own children) and probably more. What kind of person does this?
Anyway, now I feel much better now that I am no longer financially tied to her (I needed some extra money to help cover bills when I was a student). I message her occasionally on WhatsApp to ask how she is, but I really don't want to do more. Whenever I receive a call from her, I always feel like my blood pressure and stress levels spike. Whenever I visit her, I try not to spend too much time with her alone. Despite this, I often feel guilty. This is my mother, the woman who has given life to me, put food on my plate and has given me the tools to forge my own future. Yet, each time I voluntarily try to speak to her, I always regret it. How do I deal with these conflicting emotions? Is there a good middle ground?
It's already quite long, but let me move onto my father. This is going to be a rollercoaster, hang in there. My father is a smart guy with a big ego. Back in our home country, he had a great job and was well-respected. When we moved to Europe, he came with us too. He didn't speak the languages necessary to work in the country, so he was either a stay-at-home father or did manual labour. He's a big strong man, so he worked as a mover.
My mother spent a lot of time travelling for work, so I would spend a lot of my time with my father and my brother. I love them both to bits. When he was in a good mood, he was a wonderful person. He's charming, knows everything, knows how to do everything and was just a great guy. Words can't describe how much I love him. He taught me so much, and encouraged me to be the best I can be whilst also indulging me in my childish hobbies. But what happens when this smart, capable man is forced to do a demeaning job and is constantly surrounded by "idiots" (his words)? Alcoholism, anger and living through his children.
See, back when I was 8, he found that I had a knack for tennis. His dream from boyhood was to become an athlete. So what does he do? It starts off as a few fun sessions on the tennis court and turns into a daily exercise with professional coaches. He would absolutely not listen to me whenever I tried to tell him that I don't want to play tennis, he would get so incredibly angry, often smacking me really hard to get his point across. Every day, I had to weigh what was worse - 2 hours of intense training, or getting yelled at and maybe hit. The low-point was definitely when it came to tournaments and matches. I am quite a nervous person, so I get a lot of jitters before matches or anything similar. Naturally, I lost my match. My father was fuming. He wasn't yelling or hitting me, but the silence and his face told me everything. Next match? I was so scared to lose again that I wasn't focusing on the game. I lost again. I got beaten. I lost another match. I got beaten again. This continued for some time.
The actual worst year of my life was when I was 11. My mother went to work abroad for 2 years and only came back twice a year. My brother went off to university. I changed schools and was having trouble making any friends (mixture of being foreign, with a weird name and oh-so-insecure). We were short on money - all of it was going to my brother's tuition fees. As a result, my father was under pressure to earn more money than usual. He coped poorly - he drank a lot of cheap whisky and continued to work for "idiots". In the evening, even the smallest thing would set him off on some days. Was the dinner I made too salty? Did I forget to clean the frying pan when I was done? He would yell and beat me. I'm going to describe the worst instances of this, for context, and also to get it off my chest.
He loves literature. His favourite book is the Count of Monte Cristo. For those who don't know, it's an epic tale of revenge - it's an extremely long book. He bought a paperback copy for me one day and told me that when he was my age, this is what he read. I said "ok great, I'll give it a shot". I admit that the beginning of the book, where everything was setting up was pretty boring to me when I was 11. I didn't care about the story, but I kept reading because I was worried about his reaction if I stopped suddenly. I figured that if I slowly phase it out, maybe he won't notice. One night, he came back from work looking quite drunk. He asked me, out of the blue, who Edmond's cell mate is. I had just read that part, but couldn't recall the man's name. And then he just lost it. He slapped me hard and asked me why he can remember this man's name after 25 years, and yet I can't remember it after a few hours. He then started hitting me and yelling at me. Finally, he took the book and ripped it into pieces. It's not a small book either, in hindsight, it's impressive how strong he was. He threw the remnants of the book and walked away in disgust. (A few years ago, I read it again in earnest - it's an amazing book).
That summer holiday, my brother was back from university and spending time with us. He also spent a lot of time drinking with his school friends. For whatever reason, on that warm July night, I had the courage to finally tell my father that I am done playing tennis, that I refuse to go to the tennis court ever again. I was ready for all kinds of bruises that night. Instead, he yelled at me, and only hit me once. Because at that moment, my brother walked in and witnessed for the very first time the physical abuse that was happening. They had a fistfight, and I honestly can't really remember what was happening. I just recall having my brother grab my arm to pick me up and going outside for a long walk and chat… what were we talking about? I have no clue. I just remember us throwing all of my tennis equipment in the dumpster. When we returned, father was nowhere to be found. Whenever we saw him for the next month, he would refuse to talk to us. In the evenings, when my brother would go out, he would take me with him and buy me some Coca-cola whilst he and his friends drank. It was actually a fun summer. Bless him, I love my brother. When he had to go back to university, it was a very difficult and scary to be alone again.
Despite all of the intimidation and physical wrongdoings, I could understand, to an extent, his frustrations. I resent him for not dealing with his anger better, but not that he was angry, if that makes any sense. And when he was in a good mood, I have a lot of fond memories.
When my mother returned, things went back to "normal". I was no longer a punching bag, and I was more-or-less left alone. It wasn't a bad time. My relationship with my father improved - he drank less and he and I spent a bit more time together. We had fun. Understandably, my parents' relationship fell apart - they're pretty incompatible people after all. They got divorced, and I lived with my mother and saw my father on weekends mostly. We would usually go and do something every weekend (however minor) - he'd turn up at the house around midday. One September, when I was 15, he just… didn't show up. I didn't think too much of it - sometimes he just wanted to be alone. Then the next weekend, same thing happened. He'd just left without saying goodbye. No contact. No nothing. I was really distraught, I felt like my heart had been ripped out. How could he do this?
I found out months later that he went back to our home country, but couldn't get any kind of contact information. I tried my best to cope with it - the sudden loneliness, living with my mother who drove me crazy, the fact that my beloved dog was getting old, having to prepare for exams, university etc. I contemplated suicide and started cutting myself during this time. I just couldn't understand why he left and had decided to cut all contact.
The summer before I went to university, my uncle managed to get a hold of him. I gathered my courage and went to the motherland to confront him and get answers. I had a whole speech in my head, so many questions, so much anger. And yet, when I saw him, I was just so happy and relieved. I gave him a big hug and told him that he looks older. We went out to eat some Korean BBQ (yum) and then sat outside drinking soju. He was in a great mood and told me all about his mishaps during his time in university and I was just so happy drinking soju and listening to him.
The next morning, I woke up with the worst hangover I had ever experienced haha. My dad laughed and gave me some medicine and made me the most delicious chicken soup. We spent the rest of the day hanging out. My flight was the next day, and I was gathering my stuff to go back to my grandma's house. Then he told me that he some a son. I just froze. How could he? What about me? What about all the shit you put me through? Why? How? Oh boy.
I pretended to be happy for him and cried my heart out when I got back to my grandma's house. A few years later, I visited again. He brought his son to meet me on my last day. I was so angry, I couldn't even look at the boy. I was so upset. Fast forward a few years, he's going to some conference near where I live. I'm ecstatic, I go see him. He brings his son and his new wife. Again, I'm just so sad. I'm not proud of this, but I spent the entire evening talking to him in English, rather than using my mothertongue. He would speak in the native language, and I would respond in English until he got my point. Afterwards, he let them go back to their hotel room. He gave me an envelope with a lot of money (about $1200) and told me to use it to cover my costs - I was still a student. I was a bit shocked, I wasn't expecting this at all. We then said goodbye and he asked how I plan to get home. I shrugged and told him that I'll take the metro. He shook his head, gave me $50 and called a taxi. I cried all the way home and I still can't write this without crying. I just miss him so much, and I feel so guilty for the way I treated his new wife and son.
This was pretty much my most recent interaction with him. I sometimes send him emails with some life updates. Recently, he hasn't been responding to my emails, and it makes me so worried and sad. What if something happened to him? I have no way of knowing.
That's it. I'm slowly working my way through these issues. Problems have cropped up in my personal relationships with people as a direct consequence of the various things I've outlined above. Afraid to be alone, insecurity, ashamed of my body, separation anxiety, difficulty warming up to people.
My deepest gratitude if you've managed to read parts or the whole thing <3
TLDR: Grew up with a narcissistic mother and abusive father. Somehow very attached to father, really miss him. Slowly healing.
submitted by drihaveissues to offmychest [link] [comments]


2018.07.16 15:24 somewheremeerkats Is there anyone out there like this?

Yo, I'm feeling super lost in life rn. I'm really not sure what's right or wrong anymore. I feel like everything I've done in the past few years was out of some hatred/jealousy. When I was 15 I had some eating disorder and was in cross team, found some resources online and decided I should work on recovering. I had to basically skip all the training sessions tho, because my parents + cross coach like didn't believe me/didn't care. Maybe it's cause the cross team had some like, actually genetically super skinny people and me losing a ton of weight was like, normal in comparison haha. Skipping is not a big thing I guess to a lot of y'all, but to me at that time it was because I was pretty proud to be in cross (even though I was like the worst lol) and in my country you can actually get kicked out of school for skipping too many sessions. So that was one thing. While I was recovering, I didn't have any like therapy (parents were against it) or support group (I'm awkward and super shy haha) or anything so I felt I was going on on my own. All in the meantime my classmates and schoolmates were observing my change in appearance and attitude (In the past I was like the class clown and quite slim, so it was super stressful for me haha). I could feel them like judging me and looking down on me, like 'what a wasted human being'. I live in a culture where its like super looked down on to show any outward signs of bullying, but tbh I sometimes wished they just did that. Cause then I would at least feel kind of vindicated. Instead it was just kind of passive, like shunning me or just looking at me in a certain way. I know it sounds paranoid, and sometimes I wonder if it's really all just in my head. Regardless, I was like blaming myself for all this (have self esteem issues my whole life haha) since who else's fault could it be? I was the one who was stupid enough to let this happen to me. I was like at rock bottom at that point. Considered suicide, but convinced myself not to by telling myself that once I recovered I would do even better than before and do something great to help the world. But every day was still super stressful, considering that like everyon'e judging you, and the back and forth with my coach trying to convince me to go back, and there was also a teacher that was like 'why did you grow fat', and my own feelings of inadequacy. My school is also pretty hardcore, and it felt pretty awful when my grades were slipping. I was thinking like 'why is this happening. Things were much better when you were starving. Why don't you go back.' etc. After some time, a new feeling started growing in me. Like when I was thinking of what an awful person I was and should just die, a feeling of indignation grew in me, and I was thinking 'no wait, there's too much stuff to be just you, maybe humanity is just cruel.' And so that's the thought I kept carrying to myself, humanity is cruel, terrible, and I'm terrible for thinking that and everything's terrible. I developed a hatred for everything that really was only mitigated temporarily by sad music. Whenever I felt like giving up I felt that hatred fuel me, like 'if you die now, imagine what they would happen at your funeral. They'll say, oh what a tragedy, we should have gotten to know him better etc. My parents would act real sad after they had forsaken me. The school would give some big speech when they didn't give a shit before. I hated it, and so that was my motivator. I started learning art, picked up piano again, worked hard to push my grades up, worked hard to recover all because I wanted to show them up. I had (and have) a dream that one day I'll be able to rise from the trash that I was and came from, up to the peak of humanity, and I would make sure no one will ever be forsaken again. The people who looked down on me before would quiver and be nice to me, and I would be polite and completely fair with them, but I'll never give them a second glance otherwise.
Truth be told, this wasn't really the first time I lost faith in humans. I had OCD before (not formally diagnosed, but uh, pretty sure). Basically I would go around picking up every piece of garbage I could see, and I would pick at least a certain amount everyday from point A to point B (eg. from home to the train station, at least 101). The things I picked were super weird as well, like empty cups, sweet wrappers, basically just real dirty trash. Could pick up like hundreds of these things a day. Another thing I would do was apologize profusely to anyone, even if I hardly did anything. Had to apologise a certain number of times too (like 5,6?) which was extremely awkward for the other people I'm sure. At a point I was apologizing to the ground in three languages like a hundred times, don't ask me why, I don't know. During this point I was also like obsessively exercising on top of cross training (body image issues lol) Well my classmates/friends were super avoidant, understandably. A teacher noticed it, and told my parents. And basically they sat me down for a long talk saying what I was doing was super abnormal and could I please stop, including a part where my mother got down on her knees and said like 'please be normal! where did I go wrong as a mother!' It's not that bad, I know, but it did make me feel like I can't really trust adults with anything important in my life anymore. So after that I felt really guilty, worked hard to change, and basically got over the OCD thing on my own. Straight into the eating disorder. Out of the frying pan into the fire I guess.
Fast forward to the current day. All things considered, I'm doing pretty okay outwardly. In a good school, results are decent, have a small group of friends to talk to, dabble a bit in art, music acting etc. But for all those years everyday I had this huge hatred in my heart, and I feel miserable, and I feel terrible for feeling it. I never really let it out, cause I'm pretty great at repressing stuff I think (being doin it since I was 9 lol), but it shows itself in other ways. Like I have a permanent moody face that scares people off. And in all the stupid things I've done recently. I'm in a writing club now, which is basically a big social club, but I never really connected with people in the first year. When other people join competitions, I work hard and join the competitions they do as if to show them 'hey! don't look down on me! You might just get bitten!' Recently, I've gotten to trying to be more social with people, but even that was kind of fueled by hatred (and loneliness) because I would see people talking happily with their friends and gaining influence, and I would think, I want that, I want it so much. So I tried, and I guess I did make some headway, though I think a lot of people saw me as a kind of charity case. That kind of made me mad inside cause I'm a jerk like that lol, but it was progress nonetheless I guess, so things were looking up for awhile. But the hatred was like still growing and killing me inside, so much so that I absolutely felt I had to tell somebody. Luckily I found someone in proximity, a really kind person. I basically spilled my guts out to her and she took it in stride even though we hardly really knew each other, giving encouragement and advice. I have a feeling she doesn't actually like talking to me (and who could blame her lol) but she was willing to help. Anyway, I made another stupid mistake recently. I kept telling her that I wanted to pay her money for her time, since I was basically using her as a therapist. But she declined, and still continued to put up with the times where I went crazy and sent like incoherent, emotionally charged walls of text. She was like, it's fine, I'll still let you be my friend. Should have left it there, right? But then one day I decided that wouldn't cut it, and I packed fifty dollars in an envelope, went to an event she was attending, and like forcibly gave her the money then ran away. Pretty funny, I guess, without context. But I don't know, it's terrible. Things with her were already strained before, and now it's almost definitely over. Tbh, I guess I'm just worrying for myself, because I don't think it matters to her much if I'm her friend or not. But to me, this is the first time I tried to make a real friend I guess. I've had other friends before, all kinds. Ones who think they're real cool, nice ones, model students but I don't think they were ever really 'real friends'. As in, we'd always sit together and tell jokes and laugh and seem real close. But like at the end of the day we hardly hang out after school and when we split classes at the end of the year we never keep in touch again. We could never tell each other any real problems, that was the silent agreement among us. She was the first one, and she probably doesn't want to talk to me again, and even if she does the year's almost over and we will never talk again. That scares me.
I know this all sounds crazy. I'm a pretty insane person, I know this. But still, I'm feeling really scared, particularly now. Scared that I'll be alone and feel this hatred my whole life. Some bad things happened recently, I failed 2 of my exams and probably another one. I know it isn't so bad, but I'm feeling like this could be the start of something like a few years ago. And I'm so tired, I don't think I can fight as hard as I did so long ago while feeling this hatred. I'm like watching a slow-mo of my life crashing, and like disconnected to it, and there's nothing I can do. And I'm confused too. Like, the most productive periods of my life was when I let the hate guide my thoughts. Should I just let it happen that way? Is this how all people feel, just that they are much better at hiding it? I don't know how to feel about people in general. I hate everything, but I know I can't stay like this forever. What do I do? I feel like a villain a lot of the time, with all the thoughts about hating humanity. I feel like destroying things, but I never actually show any behavior when people are around. I'm afraid that my current group of friends will leave me too, cause they're the good student type and I am totally not that and the veneer is beginning to crack and I really just want to drop out too. I feel like everything's lost, I feel like everything's falling apart. I recently thought that I might turn out like Willy Loman, an empty husk of a human being just chasing after some unattainable dream while dying inside. Somedays I don't feel human.
...I'm not sure what I intended to accomplish by typing this out. Maybe in the hopes that someone can relate to what I'm going through, though I know the chances are almost zero. Maybe for sympathy, but I got that before and I'm not sure if it can help the hatred. Maybe I'm looking for someone to slap me awake and tell me to the face that I'm just being a brat and my situation is comparably alright, and I should just work hard and try harder to make friends. Maybe for advice. I don't know, I'm real tired, I just felt like doing it. Thank you, if you read all of it.
submitted by somewheremeerkats to depression [link] [comments]


2018.04.25 19:02 FPSGamer48 Snake Charmer #8: Atom and Eve

From the moment I take my first step into Asansol, I can tell there’s trouble. Sirens blaring, empty streets, and tables at restaurants left with food still on the plates. Where has everyone gone?
“GET TO SHELTER! EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!” blared a nearby TV. Racing up to it, I change through the channels, and eventually find one not playing the warning.
“We have reports of an attack on Asansol’s nuclear power plant. All civilians have been moved to makeshift shelter areas,” explains the newscaster. The nuclear plant? Oh Gods…
“Chhota, it’s time we go nuclear,” I tell him as I begin to run towards the plant in the distance. He tightens around me in response.
“I know, buddy, I know,” I respond, petting him gently. As I run through the empty streets, I see a small child entering into a small bunker. Looking within the door, I see hundreds of faces crowded into the shelter. Unfortunately, it provides me with little comfort. The location is clearly makeshift, and most likely offers little to no protection in the event of a nuclear blast. Whatever is going on at this plant, I have to stop it, or else this entire city is dead!
A few minutes pass, and I’ve arrived in front of the facility. All across the entrance, bodies of nuclear workers are strewn without regard. Such a waste of innocent lives. Whatever is in there has to pay for their crimes.
“Saraswati, get ready to send whatever is in there to Naraka. Even if it’s human, they’ll fight right in there,” I alert the God within my head.
“Tread carefully, Adi. I sense something...more,” he replies. I enter into the facility, and am immediately washed down by a spray from each side of the hallway. Decontamination protocols are still in action. If someone has taken this place, it seems they haven’t removed the power source yet. Continuing further in, I find a hazards suit, and slip it on, letting Chhota wrap himself around my waist.
“Sorry, Chhota, I know it’s a tight fit,” I chuckle, zipping the suit up rapidly. I then step through another layer of security, and find a TV within sputtering sparks and glass chunks. The guard’s head has been smashed into it. What kind of monster is this? A Rakshasa, perhaps?
The further I step into the plant, the worse the situation seems. More and more guards at each checkpoint lay dead, and the normal protocols to protect people have clearly been breached. Entire walls of glass have been shattered, allowing a spread of unclean air to move across the facility.
“To think they believed they could ever stop me…” comes a murmuring voice from further in the plant. I walk towards it, only to find an intact glass barrier between me and it. On this glass, I see the label: Core.
“Hey! Whoever is in there, come out now, and I won’t hurt you!” I warn. Immediately, a green gaseous fog begins to cloud my view of the core. Quickly, however, the fog begins to solidify, and transforms itself into a human. Despite the glowing green aura around him, this man looks like any average Indian. I also notice the logo on the jacket he wears: he’s an employee.
“Ah! The Snake Charmer! So wonderful to see India’s little firecracker took time out of his busy schedule to see little ole me!” he cackles, beating against the glass.
“What are you? Who are you?”
“Oh, how inconsiderate! I must apologize, I normally don’t encounter celebrities, so you’ll have to excuse my tone! I am Kumar Agarwal, former employee of this magnificent plant! You, however, my musical friend, may call me the Isotope!” he responds.
“Saraswati,” I whisper, “is this guy another Rakshasa?”
“No,” replies the God, “this is but a mortal,”.
“What are you?” I ask my foe. As expected, he just laughs and continues to pound his fists against the glass in the chaos of his hysteria.
“I am what you would call a miracle. A messenger. A prophet. A messiah. There are many words you may wish to refer to me as,” he laughs.
“Sounds like insane is the best one,” I retort. His smile collapses and he looks on at me with contempt.
“That’s what they all said! Everyone always said that! Oh, don’t worry about inviting Kumar, he doesn’t go to parties! How would they know?! They never asked!” he spits.
“You wanna talk about it? How about you and I go find a sofa for you to sit on so we can discuss,” I suggest to him.
“As much as I would love a one-on-one therapy session with THE Snake Charmer, I’ll have to decline. My schedule is incredibly busy! Blowing up cities, conquering India, then the world, that sort of thing!” he explains.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask him. His laugh gets louder, and he falls to the ground in a hysterical fit.
“Oh my Kali, isn’t that rich!?! You really are a clueless do-gooder aren’t you?!?! Hahahaha!! This is beautiful! Have you not figured it out by now? The Rakshasa, the Monsoon, the ‘Ghost of the Taj Mahal’? This was all her!”
“Who?”
“Why Kali! You didn’t really think the moment you became a hero, suddenly villains just appeared, did you?! That they had some sort of superhuman sense that told them a superhero was made in India?! Every villain, every fight, every move you’ve made has all been orchestrated by Kali! She foresaw it all! All of this has led you to me! To your doom!”
“Kali? So you’re a Thuggee,” I insinuate.
“They all were! The Monsoon? Thuggee. The Rejars? Thuggee. Garrote? Thuggee. Everything you’ve worked so hard to accomplish was according to her design!”
“If she’s so powerful, why let me beat her minions?!”
“Isn’t it obvious?! She wants a challenge! Someone worthy of facing her! She knows you were weak, but over the days you have learned much of your power, Snake Charmer! She wants to defeat you at your full strength! You are merely her toy to play with. To train up to its potential, and then stomp into the ground! We are all but pawns in the game of chess played by the Gods above!” he proclaims, cackling between each and every sentence. I honestly can’t even respond. Garrote was obvious, she literally told me she was Thuggee, but Monsoon too? The Rejars? Has anything I’ve done so far made a difference? Or was it all for Kali’s amusement?
“So, Snake Charmer, what say you and I play our parts, huh? I am Kali’s final move! Her final piece! I am the one destined to destroy you!” he laughs. At this point, I’m starting to want to shatter that glass he’s behind.
“What are your plans?!” I question angrily, slamming my own fist against the glass, forcing him away for a moment.
“Oh! Oh yes! Yes! I got so caught up in your ignorance that I never even told you of your predicament!” giggles the insane Thuggee, “as you saw, I am the Isotope! Long ago, two years ago to be exact, I was inducted into the Thuggee, where I was given the challenge of using my intelligence to further their cause! Each and every day, I would ingest a small amount of radioactive material. Not enough to cause damage, of course. Just enough to begin the mutations! With each passing day, my human body began to wither as radiation took its toll, but with my steadfast will and Kali’s blessing, I made it to my final form!”
“That doesn’t make any sense! You can’t ingest radiation enough to gain powers!” I say, not really knowing if you actually can or not.
“It doesn’t matter if you believe me or not! All that matters is the world of atoms around me! Each breath I take, I absorb more radiation. With each passing second, I grow stronger! My radioactive powers will grow so strong, not even this core can contain me! Then, and only then, my little piccolo...boom!” he roars, jumping with glee into the air, his body breaking apart to form a giant cloud of green haze.
“My radiation,” speaks the cloud, “will envelop this city! Anyone within its radius will die in minutes! Imagine a thousand Chernobyls all done at the same time!” he gloats.
“I’ll find a way to stop you,” I warn him. As expected, he laughs hysterically at such a notion. As he does, I reach down, for my flute, and carefully bring it up inside the suit.
“YOU?! You think YOU can defeat me?! Piccolo, you can’t even touch me!” he exclaims, his cloudy form now racing in circles around the core.
“I don’t need to,” I reply, bringing the flute to my lips, “here”. The moment I blow into the flute, a bang comes from beneath the core. BANG!
“What?” he asks, returning to his human form. BANG! Another one rocks the ground, creating a crack in the concrete.
“Good luck,” I smile, waving him goodbye. BANG! A third tremor.
“What is this?!” he asks angrily, snarling from behind the glass. BANG! A fourth quake, and the ground splits, revealing a battering ram of cockroaches, each one poised to do some damage.
Swarm” I order, blowing my commands through the flute. The bugs jump, surrounding the villain like a typhoon. The moment they latch onto him though, he transforms into his cloud form, and escapes their clutches. He then reappears as his human self on the far side, pointing at laughing. The first thing I notice are the corpses left behind. Dead from the extreme amounts of radiation. Their sacrifice will be avenged, though.
Swarm” I command again, repeating the same tune. Again, they jump onto him, and again, he turns into a gaseous form, escaping them once more.
“Your pathetic little bugs aren’t even hurting me!” he cackles.
Swarm” I repeat a third time. Once more, the roaches swing around, and charge their enemy, engulfing him a third time. This time, however, I watch as from within, a glowing aura grows, followed by a burst of light. When I can see again, hundreds of dead roaches lay around him in a neat circle, their bodies still sizzling from the exposure.
“Don’t you see the pointlessness of this, my little flutist!” he asks. I merely reply with the same word I did before.
Swarm” I say. This being the fourth time, I expect the same result. And it works. Again, he blasts them off, searing the remaining roaches.
“So much for the bug’s life!” he smirks.
Swarm” I order.
“What can possibly swarm me now?!” he questions, banging the glass madly, “I have defeated your minions! Face me now and end this wasting of our ti-”. He’s immediately cut off, however, as a new swarm emerges from the hole, and grabs ahold of him. Again, though, he turns into his cloud form, and escapes them. As he tries to turn to human, however, he notices an opaqueness in his body.
“What is happening?” he asks me, eyes full of fear for the first time in our entire interaction.
“Oh yes, how silly of me!” I impersonate, chuckling obnoxiously, “how could I be so rude as to not alert you to your own defeat!”
“Hey! That shtick is mine!” he replies.
“I can tell you what sticks aren’t yours though…” I counter. His eyes grow wide. He turns around. The core has been opened. The rods are gone.
“WHAT?!” he screams in a violent rage, slamming his entire body against the glass. Fortunately, the semi-translucent ‘Isotope’ isn’t as strong as he once was.
“Oh, the roaches took them. A while ago. About the third time you got swarmed, to be exact,” I tell him casually, “So, yeah, your plan is over. Game. Set. Match”. He looks at me, his eyes squinting in rage, before bursting into laughter.
“You think this is it?! You think you’ve won!? There are other reactors I can find, you squabbling imbecile!” he mocks.
“I know. You can’t do it if you’re not around, though” I alert to him. He cocks his head in confusion.
“Wha-what?”
“You see, roaches can absorb high levels of radiation. Each time they’ve been swarming you, they’ve been absorbing some of your radiation. If my guess is right, you have about two swarms left before your physical presence here disappears entirely” I threaten.
“Impossible!”
“Afraid not, actually. Your monologging gave me a lot of time to think up a solution! Speaking of…” I pause, “Swarm”. With a blow of the flute, another cockroach torrent absorbs the Isotope, his screams of rage quickly silenced by the bustling of the loud insects. In a final attempt to survive, however, he sets himself off, detonating another nuclear blast around him, searing the roaches. With such a drain of his energy, however, his body has also begun to disappear. Only his torso seems to remain. Just once more, and every dead roach will be avenged.
“You are a fool,” he tells me, grinning as he continues to fade away.
“And I say…Swarm”. With a grin on his face, he’s absorbed by the mass of bugs, and when the dust has settled, only the corpses of my fallen soldiers and their surviving friends remain.
Return the cores” I command, blowing a series of commands into the flute. Immediately, the roach survivors begin to head down into their tunnel, and after a few minutes of digging around, they return with the glowing green rods, and place them back where they belong.
“Well, Chhota, looks like we-” I say, only to be interrupted. BOOM! What? I turn around, and immediately run down the hallway. With each passing second, another boom from the outside. In a last leap, I push myself through the decontamination chamber into the outside world. What I see is complete and utter devastation. In six different areas across the city, smoke has begun to rise. BOOM! Seven. Seven different areas. What is happening? Throwing off my contamination suit, I race to the nearest shop, and turn up the radio.
“Reports are coming in of suicide bombings at the shelters in Asansol” she says, voice shaking, “we have confirmed multiple casualties! Everyone needs to evacuate n-”. At the end, she’s cut off, and all that remains is static. I watch on from inside the building as smoke rises up from across the city. I reach for a phone, and dial the emergency number.
“We’re sorry, the line you are trying to reach is busy, please try again later,” speaks a robotic voice, hanging up the phone. No! I race out of the building, and towards the nearest smoke. Beneath the smoke, people covered in soot and ash try to escape the scene. I watch in horror as they trickle out, not because of who are coming out, but how few of them there are. A hundred, maybe less? These shelters probably held thousands. So many lives lost...who could have done this?! I shuffle my way forward, dedicated to trying to help these people in anyway.
“Excuse me, is there anything you ne-” I begin, only to be interrupted by a scream from one of the people in the crowd.
“For the Goddess!” he proclaims. My vision blacks out, and a wave of heat rushes over my body. I’m thrown back a good ten feet, and land roughly on the ground. I cough and sputter, dust clogging my throat. All around me, debris flies through the air violently, spitting ash and dirt up into the sky. My head continues to spin, but I have someone more important than myself to check on.
“Ch-ack-Chhota are you alright?” I manage to eck out from my throat. The snake pats his head up and down against my chest. I stand up, my back and legs aching with pain. I try my best to locate survivors and help them up. Anyone I see, I grab at and get them standing. However, I can only find around ten or so. Everyone else...there’s nothing left of them. As I help the final civilian up, I begin to replay the scene in my head.
“For the Goddess” I murmur to myself.
“What was that?” asks one of the survivors.
“That man, he said for the Goddess...he was Thuggee…” I whisper to myself, my eyes growing wide. Isotope was never the threat. Isotope was the distraction...and I fell for it! I allowed them to lead me on, listening to his ridiculous rambling and taunting! All of these lives...they’re on me! This is my fault! My head falls into my hands, and I walk away shamefully, rushing into an alley. Before I can even make it, tears are streaming down my eyes.
“I...I just wanted to help...I just wanted to protect...and I did the opposite…” I tell myself, throwing off my turban in rage and tossing it to the ground.
“Adi…” comes the voice of Saraswati.
“Why?! Why did this have to happen?! All this time I thought I was making a difference, then it turns out it was all a ploy by some cult to get me to murder thousands!” I cry out.
“Adi, it wasn’t…” he begins to reply, only for me to cut him off.
“You don’t understand how I feel right now, Swati!” I reply, “I’ve spent my life hoping to help the world! First as a veterinarian, and now as a superhero! Turns out, maybe I should have stuck with the former! I’m not cut out for this! I’m not some muscular hero! I’m just a normal guy!”
“The greatest of mortals are the most average of people,” tells the god.
“I beg to differ. Look at the heroes in America. The Hulk, Nova, all of them have larger than life personalities and traits! They have something to make them stand out! They have charisma, they have sway, they have everything I don’t!”
“That’s why I chose you, Adi,” he tries to explain.
“Wha-What do you mean?” I say, sniffling.
“Adi, you don’t have a big personality, and your charisma is about average. But you know what? I chose you as my avatar because I saw who you are as an individual. You are a compassionate man, Adi Bhasin. You are the kind of man to nurse a baby bird back to health after it hits your window, the kind of man who helps the old lady across the street with only a thank you taken as a reward! No, you don’t go out there and transform into a giant green monster, but it’s the little things that count. The little actions that build up to form who you are. You’re a good man, Adi. Don’t let this single event hold you down. Here, let me show you something. Go find a TV,” he tells me. With a nod and a sigh, I stand up, grab my turban, place it back on, and head back out into the street. We walk silently for a few blocks without seeing another soul, until we finally come along to a working television. Immediately, I begin to flip through channels. First thing I find that isn’t an emergency broadcast just so happens to be the same voice I had heard earlier, now with a face to assist.
“And the death toll could keep rising. All emergency personnel in the region have been redirected to the city, with UN soldiers provided by S.H.I.E.L.D on overwatch to prevent any future attacks. In related news, word is coming in of India’s rising superstar the Snake Charmer also patrolling the area! Surely the people of Asansol could not be in better hands! This is Priya Reddy, back to you, Arjun,” speaks the broadcaster.
“You see?” says Saraswati in his hopeful tone, “Adi, these people see you as a protector, as a hero! You know why? Because you are! You don’t need giant muscles or a golden helmet or a flaming skull to be a hero! You don’t need some fancy costume to be a hero! You need heart, and that, Adi, is something you have in great supply!” I sniffle at hearing this, and manage to crack a smile. Down around my waist, Chhota gently pats himself against me. I pet him back in affirmation.
“Thanks. Both of you. I...I really appreciate it,” I say through the tears.
“Now, more than ever, Adi, we need to get to Kolkata. We need to end this now. Once and for all. This is it,” explains Saraswati, inspiring me like a cricket coach.
“Yeah. This is it. Get ready Kali, the Snake Charmer is coming for you,” I smile, beginning my walk through the city once more. As I reach the city’s far side, I look back, making sure everyone seems to be in good hands. At the street’s end, I can see those same S.H.I.E.L.D vehicles pulling up, with a crew of ambulances and firetrucks rushing in behind them. I grin, knowing they’re in good hands. I have bigger fish to fry, and a city that needs avenging.
submitted by FPSGamer48 to MarvelsNCU [link] [comments]


2018.04.18 16:06 eventbot What's happening around town (Wed, Apr 18th - Tue, Apr 24th)

Oklahoma City's event list.

Wednesday, Apr 18th

  • 89er Days Celebration (Downtown - Guthrie) Thru Sun, Apr 22nd The annual '89er Days Celebration commemorates the Land Run of 1889 and the birth of Guthrie. On April 22, 1889,…
  • Aaron Hale and the Human Beings (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm Aaron Hale gets on The Deli stage with a full band! Check him out at http://www.aaronhalemusic.net Aaron Hale is a classically trained (Oklahoma State University) multi-instrumentalist…
  • Anthem Drown Night! (HiLo Club - Oklahoma City) Our local friends at Anthem Brewing Co. have some great beers! Every Wednesday night from 9pm to close enjoy $8 Drown Night! Their Power Pils will be flowing!
  • 🎨 Beyond ART: Lunch with an Artist - John Wolfe (JRB Art at the Elms - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 11:30am Bring your lunch and join us for our BEYOND ART: Lunch with an Artist Series. Eat, converse, and make connections to our art and artists. Artist John Wolfe will be in attendance. Artwork:…
  • Bi-Weekly Meetup (51st st. Speakeasy - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:00pm
  • Bringing in the Bystander Training (Robert S Kerr - Edmond) Start Time: 11:00am
  • 🎨 Can't Touch This: Visualization and Technology (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 10:00am Artists: *James Ewald Assistant Professor of Graphic Design *Amy Jacobson-Peters Instructor of Interior Design *Amy Johnson Chair, Department of Design & Professor of Graphic Design *Sam…
  • Caregivers Support Group (First United Methodist Church - Edmond) The first support group for caregivers will be held Wednesday April 18, at 11:45-1:15. Participants who can come only for lunchtime are welcome to come and leave to go back to work. While a…
  • 🎨 COMIX: OK (Oklahoma Contemporary - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 22nd Following the success of Not For Sale: Graffiti Culture in Oklahoma, COMIX OK looks at the thriving artistic culture of comics in Oklahoma. The comics genre is wide ranging and hard to…
  • COOP Showcase (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Early Season Pass Processing (Starlight Amphitheater @ Frontier City - Oklahoma City) Thru Fri, Apr 20th Start Time: 9:00am Skip the processing lines and have your Season Pass card made before your first visit to the park! Our office is open 9:00a-5:00p, Monday-Friday.
  • 🎓 Getting Ready for that Summer Job (Pioneer Library System - McLoud) Start Time: 4:00pm Teens, join us to learn tips on getting that summer job! We will discuss Child Labor laws, how to fill out a W-2, interviewing skills, how to fill out an application and more. Registration is…
  • 🎓 Making Robot Rovers (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Start Time: 4:00pm We will discover how a robotic rover, like those used on Mars, is designed. We will explore aspects of autonomous robotic systems and answer questions such as: What does it mean to be…
  • 🎓 Oklahoma Connections Academy Free Family Information Session (Embassy Suites - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:30pm Oklahoma Connections Academy, a tuition-free online public school, will host a free information session for families interested in learning about its online program and individualized approach…
  • 😂 Paul Hooper (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Apr 21st
  • 🎭 Pj Story Time (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Start Time: 10:30am This story Time is special! No need to change out of your PJs this morning, come ready to dance, sing, and read all while in your jammies! Talk Around Guthrie. The City of Guthrie, OK -…
  • Understanding Credit Workshop (Pioneer Library System - Blanchard) Start Time: 9:00am Join us to learn about the different types of credit, how to qualify for it and how to manage credit and debt. This presentation will also cover different types of credit, what affects your…
  • 🎨 Unlocking the Vault: Mysteries and Marvels of the Museum (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Thru Fri, Apr 20th Start Time: 10:00am Museums typically exhibit only a very small percentage of their collections. In the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum’s vast holdings, specific pieces, for one reason or another, are…
  • Wednesday Game Night (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Play the games you love for jackpots and then play more games you love for Extra Cash & Prizes on Game Night at Remington Park, every Wednesday! Starting at 6pm on Wednesday nights at…
  • 🏆 West Conf Qtrs: Jazz at Thunder Rd 1 Hm Gm 2 (Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm **VERY IMPORTANT !! ** Sales to the Oklahoma City Thunder 2018 Home Playoff Games at Chesapeake Energy Arena, will be restricted to residents of Oklahoma, Kansas, Arkansas, Missouri and…

Thursday, Apr 19th

  • 89er Days Celebration (Downtown - Guthrie) Thru Sun, Apr 22nd The annual '89er Days Celebration commemorates the Land Run of 1889 and the birth of Guthrie. On April 22, 1889,…
  • 🎨 Anime Night (Teen) (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Start Time: 6:00pm Indulge in CANDY, POPCORN, AND SODA POP as we dive into Ouran Host Club!: The boys in the Ouran Host Club please their clients in different ways. The new Host, Haruhi, seems to know exactly…
  • 🎭 Blood Relations (Carpenter Square Theatre - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 7:30pm Carpenter Square Theatre presents the Oklahoma City premiere of “Blood Relations,” an award-winning mystery-thriller by Sharon Pollock. The play explores the legend of Lizzie Borden ten…
  • 🎨 Can't Touch This: Visualization and Technology (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 10:00am Artists: *James Ewald Assistant Professor of Graphic Design *Amy Jacobson-Peters Instructor of Interior Design *Amy Johnson Chair, Department of Design & Professor of Graphic Design *Sam…
  • Charley Crockett et al. (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Join Texas bluesman Charley Crockett for a very special evening when he takes over OKC's historic…
  • El Reno Chocolate Festival (El Reno) Get ready for a glamorous night of live music and delicious samples at the El Reno Chocolate Festival. Chocolate of…
  • Chris Trapper (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • 🏆 Club One Special (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 6:00pm The popular Club 1 Special is back for all live racing dates at Remington Park. Enjoy this spectacular offer on every live race date, regardless of post time, day or night. The Club 1 Special…
  • 😂 Comedian Eric Schwartz (51st st. Speakeasy - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:30pm Deep in the California suburbs, multimedia and comedy collide in a freak accident to create Eric Schwartz, a mild man-nerd who unleashes a mind-blowing show filled with musical comedy,…
  • 🎨 COMIX: OK (Oklahoma Contemporary - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 22nd Following the success of Not For Sale: Graffiti Culture in Oklahoma, COMIX OK looks at the thriving artistic culture of comics in Oklahoma. The comics genre is wide ranging and hard to…
  • Day of Remembrance (Oklahoma City National Memorial - Oklahoma City) Each year, visitors gather at the Oklahoma City National Memorial & Museum in downtown Oklahoma City to remember…
  • Oklahoma City Dinner of Champions honoring Dr. Gabriel Pardo (Oklahoma City Golf and Country Club - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm The first annual Dinner of Champions, Oklahoma City event is April 19, 2018 and will support local programs that contribute to the quality of life of those affected by MS and to support…
  • Early Season Pass Processing (Starlight Amphitheater @ Frontier City - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 9:00am Skip the processing lines and have your Season Pass card made before your first visit to the park! Our office is open 9:00a-5:00p, Monday-Friday.
  • Oklahoma City Farm Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Apr 21st At the Oklahoma City Farm Show, you'll find everything having to do with agriculture in one location. With over 300…
  • 🍴 FREE paperwork organizing workshop (Edmond) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 6:30pm Professional Organizer and coach, Lorraine Brock, will be presenting information oh to tame paper clutter. Drinks and snacks will be served. Must RSVP name, phone, email, time of event to…
  • 🏃 Get Your Rear in Gear OKC (Church of the Journey - Oklahoma City) Enjoy post-run refreshments, tech shirts for all participants, and marathon quality medals for age group winners. Awards for the Most Creative Team, Largest Team, Top Individual and Top Team…
  • Herbert W. Armstrong College Choral Union (Armstrong Auditorium - Edmond) Start Time: 7:30pm The Herbert W. Armstrong College Choral Union is bringing the tale of Abraham from the Old Testament to Edmond. Directed…
  • The Infamists (Denton,TX)/ Dresden Bombers (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm The Infamists out of Denton, Tx are stopping by Norman for a night of rock n' roll. They are joined by Norman favorites the Dresden Bombers. Infamists are a trio of dragon riders from Dallas,…
  • 🎓 Learning about Parkinson's Disease (Touchmark at Coffee Creek - Edmond) Start Time: 11:00am Join Bruce McIntire, Executive Director of the Parkinson’s Foundation of Oklahoma, as he speaks about what resources are available to those living with Parkinson’s Disease in the…
  • Lyric Theatre - Fun Home's Pint Night (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:30pm You don't want to miss this! Join Lyric Theatre of Oklahoma and Coop Ale Works for Pint Night during the run of our production, Fun Home! Buy your tickets online at the link in this event or…
  • Meditation Class (St Stephen's United Methodist - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm Weekly meditation and discussion group conducted by the monks from Oklahoma Buddhist Vihara.
    St. Stephens UMC 6-7pm Look for the shoes.
  • Parkinson's disease support group (Touchmark at Coffee Creek - Edmond) Start Time: 11:00am Join other people in the early stages of Parkinson’s disease for discussion and sharing. Also open to caregivers. No RSVP required. Light refreshments will be served.
  • 😂 Paul Hooper (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Apr 21st
  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Management Support Group (Mental Health Association Oklahoma main office - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm PTSD is a psychiatric disorder that can occur following the experience of witnessing of life-threatening events such as military combat, natural disasters, terrorist incidents, serious…
  • 🎭 Share at the Showroom: Holey Kids and Tallows (Oklahoma Contemporary - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Oklahoma City-based artists Katie Rake and Elijah Scott will discuss what they call “a collaborative effort of creepy creations.” As the Holey Kids, Katie and Elijah are typically masked…
  • 🏆 Surf and Turf at The Bricktown Brewery at Remington Park (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 4:00pm
  • Survivors of Suicide Support Group (Mental Health Association Oklahoma main office - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Nearly 31,000 people take their own lives each year. As a survivor – a family member or friend of the victim – you may need help coming to terms with suicide. This group offers the…
  • Sushi Rolling Night (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 6:00pm Sushi Rolling Night is a collaborative event with the Japanese Student Association to bring an educational dining experience: teaching guests how to toll sushi, how to dine with each…
  • 🍴 Three Minute Thesis Competition (Othello's - Edmond) Start Time: 4:00pm
  • 🏆 Thursday Night $25 Dinner for 2 at Silks (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm SILKS DINNER for TWO, just $25! – Thursdays in Racing Season The Silks Restaurant is the place for a great value and view of the racing action on Thursday nights throughout the Remington…
  • 🎨 Unlocking the Vault: Mysteries and Marvels of the Museum (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 10:00am Museums typically exhibit only a very small percentage of their collections. In the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum’s vast holdings, specific pieces, for one reason or another, are…

Friday, Apr 20th

  • 89er Days Celebration (Downtown - Guthrie) Thru Sun, Apr 22nd The annual '89er Days Celebration commemorates the Land Run of 1889 and the birth of Guthrie. On April 22, 1889,…
  • 411 Band Sounds of Motown (VZD's - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm The 411 Band in a rare club performance doing all your R&B favorites and Motown review. After buying tickets, call ahead for dinner reservations to be sure you have a table seat. Full Menu…
  • 420 FEST Featuring Scattered Hamlet (Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm
  • Adult Night (Rose State College - Midwest City) Start Time: 6:00pm Adult Night is an event for design to help the community learn about what sexual health and resources are available to them. It is hosted by the Rose State College Sexual Identity/Sexual…
  • Norman Area Quilt Guild Quilt Show (Calvary Church - Norman) Day 1 of 2 Save the date for the Norman Area Quilt Guild's biannual quilt show. This year's theme is "Sew Full of…
  • 🎭 Blood Relations (Carpenter Square Theatre - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 7:30pm Carpenter Square Theatre presents the Oklahoma City premiere of “Blood Relations,” an award-winning mystery-thriller by Sharon Pollock. The play explores the legend of Lizzie Borden ten…
  • 🏆 Central OK: University of Central Oklahoma Baseball vs Missouri Western (Edmond) Start Time: 3:00pm University of Central Oklahoma Baseball vs Missouri Western http://www.bronchosports.com/calendar.aspx?id=5902
  • 🏆 Central OK: University of Central Oklahoma Softball vs Missouri Southern (Edmond) Start Time: 2:00pm University of Central Oklahoma Softball vs Missouri Southern http://www.bronchosports.com/calendar.aspx?id=5723
  • 🏆 Central OK: University of Central Oklahoma Softball vs Missouri Southern (Edmond) Start Time: 4:00pm University of Central Oklahoma Softball vs Missouri Southern http://www.bronchosports.com/calendar.aspx?id=5724
  • Clint Black (Grand Casino Hotel & Resort - Shawnee) Come out to see one of country music's brightest stars as Clint Black comes to Grand Casino Hotel & Resort in…
  • 🏆 Club One Special (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 6:00pm The popular Club 1 Special is back for all live racing dates at Remington Park. Enjoy this spectacular offer on every live race date, regardless of post time, day or night. The Club 1 Special…
  • 🎨 COMIX: OK (Oklahoma Contemporary - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 22nd Following the success of Not For Sale: Graffiti Culture in Oklahoma, COMIX OK looks at the thriving artistic culture of comics in Oklahoma. The comics genre is wide ranging and hard to…
  • Double Point Fridays and Saturdays (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm April in the Remington Park Casino makes Friday and Saturday nights with band better than ever before. Whenever the band is playing on Friday and Saturday nights, you are rewarded with double…
  • Downtown Edmond Fashion Show (Edmond Fine Arts - Edmond) Start Time: 6:45pm The businesses of Downtown Edmond are coming together to support the Fine Arts Institute of Edmond, by holding a Spring/Summer fashion show. The doors will open at 6:45, and the show will…
  • Early Season Pass Processing (Starlight Amphitheater @ Frontier City - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 9:00am Skip the processing lines and have your Season Pass card made before your first visit to the park! Our office is open 9:00a-5:00p, Monday-Friday.
  • 🏆 The Eliminator Challenge (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Remington Park racing guests have the opportunity to test their skill and take aim at a Grand Prize worth a minimum of $1,000, every Friday night in April. The Eliminator Challenge returns to…
  • Family Workshop: Flower and Leaf Pressing (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 2:00pm Preserve your favorite leaves and flowers and turn them into art, bookmarks and cards at this creative workshop. Participants will learn how to press leaves and flowers, look at some already…
  • Oklahoma City Farm Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) 1 day left At the Oklahoma City Farm Show, you'll find everything having to do with agriculture in one location. With over 300…
  • 🎨 Filmography: "Dior and I (21C Museum Hotel - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm Art goes to the movies with 21c Oklahoma City’s Filmography, a free monthly film series at 21c Oklahoma City in partnership with deadCenter Film and the OKC Film Society. Filmography takes…
  • Flasher (Opolis - Norman)
  • Fossil Youth (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm with The Tooth, My Heart & Liver are the Best of Friends, Kinderhook, and Gall • Fossil Youth Bandcamp - http://bit.ly/AGOSJBandcamp Spotify - http://bit.ly/FYspotify • The Tooth Bandcamp…
  • 🍴 FREE paperwork organizing workshop (Edmond) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 6:30pm Professional Organizer and coach, Lorraine Brock, will be presenting information oh to tame paper clutter. Drinks and snacks will be served. Must RSVP name, phone, email, time of event to…
  • 🍴 FREE paperwork organizing workshop (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 1:00pm Professional Organizer and coach, Lorraine Brock, will be presenting information oh to tame paper clutter. Drinks and snacks will be served. Must RSVP name, phone, email, time of event to…
  • 🎭 Free Zumba (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Start Time: 5:00pm Enjoy this free Latin inspired fitness dance class. Participants must sign waiver before taking part in this program. Space is limited, please RSVP for this event. The City of Guthrie, OK -…
  • Kick Start Concert Series (Rodeo Opry - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Georgiea Motley, Amy Duffy, Tammy Lynn, Jeremy Rodgers, Darla Hensley, Tina Stephens, Barron Baird, Alexis Christensen, Mary Bruce, George Garrison
  • Living History on the Chisholm Trail (Chisholm Trail Museum & Seay Mansion - Kingfisher) Day 1 of 2 Catch a glimpse of the past at Living History on the Chisholm Trail in Kingfisher. This event, held at the Chisholm…
  • Luke Pell / Logan Mize et al. (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Get your tickets for a night of fresh country music when Luke Pell and Logan Mize bring their Hometown & Highways…
  • Martha (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 7:30pm Performance Dates and Times: 7:30pm. Friday, April 20, 2018 7:30pm. Saturday, April 21, 2018 2:00pm. Sunday, April 22, 2018 Free for UCO students with current ID
  • Michael Fracasso (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Montgomery Gentry (Diamond Ballroom - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:30pm Head to Diamond Ballroom for a night of hard-driving and Kentucky fried country music when Montgomery Gentry comes…
  • Night on the Bricks (Downtown - Shawnee) Day 1 of 2 Gather in downtown Shawnee for a new festival in celebration of its status as Redbud City. Enjoy a night full of food,…
  • OCU Eagles: Season Finale Musical: Leonard Bernstein's On The Town (Oklahoma City University - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm Three sailors on the town belt out the iconic "New York, New York" as they tear through the city on 24-hour shore leave in 1944. Featuring music by Leonard Bernstein and book and lyrics by…
  • OKC Jazz Fest (Bicentennial Park - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 In downtown Oklahoma City, the OKC Jazz Fest takes over the Civic Center Music Hall and Bicentennial Park for six days.…
  • 🎭 Overly Designing Women (The Boom - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm “Overly Designing Women” is The Boom’s latest TV parody! In this production, the sassy group of gals at an Atlanta interior design firm (all played by men in drag) get themselves into a…
  • 😂 Paul Hooper (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) 1 day left
  • 🎨 ProtoProxy: an exhibit by Jordan Vinyard (IAO Gallery - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Prototypes are defined by their placement at the beginning of a perceived sequence.
    They are the unfinished postulate and the unwavering switch yet to be firmly tried. Human behavior…
  • Norman Round-up Club Open Rodeo (Cleveland County Fairgrounds - Norman) Day 1 of 2 Head to Norman to see cowboys and cowgirls participate in traditional rodeo events at the Norman Round-up Club Open…
  • Shen Yun (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Classical Chinese dance, dazzling costumes, impressive backdrops and a live orchestra make Shen Yun a performance you…
  • Shen Yun Performing Arts (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2
  • 🎡 Short Play Festival (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 7:30pm UCO Department of Theatre Arts students direct capstone projects during this two-day festival. Admission is FREE!
  • 🎭 SOONER THEATRE SHOWCASE 2018 (The Sooner Theatre - Norman) Start Time: 7:30pm The Sooner Theatre invites the community to celebrate the beginning of spring with The Sooner Theatre Showcase 2018! The theatre's 11th annual variety show will feature very special song and…
  • Thrive Mama Collective - Baby Signing Time (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 11:00am Join the Baby Signing Time revolution! Your baby can communicate with you using baby signs long before she is old enough to speak.
    • Reduce tantrums!
    • Stimulate early learning and build…
  • 🎨 Unlocking the Vault: Mysteries and Marvels of the Museum (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 10:00am Museums typically exhibit only a very small percentage of their collections. In the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum’s vast holdings, specific pieces, for one reason or another, are…
  • USTPA Spring Round-Up (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) Thru Sun, Apr 22nd Watch as riders race against time while showcasing their herding skills at the USTPA Spring Round-Up. Held in…
  • World Championship Series (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) Start Time: 7:00am

Saturday, Apr 21st

  • 89er Days Celebration (Downtown - Guthrie) 1 day left The annual '89er Days Celebration commemorates the Land Run of 1889 and the birth of Guthrie. On April 22, 1889,…
  • Norman Area Quilt Guild Quilt Show (Calvary Church - Norman) Day 2 of 2 Save the date for the Norman Area Quilt Guild's biannual quilt show. This year's theme is "Sew Full of…
  • Bonnie Bishop (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City)
  • 🏃 Cargo Classic (Heritage Church - Shawnee) Cargo Ranch will be hosting the 3rd annual Cargo Classic, a 5k and Fun Run, on April 21st, 8:00 am at Heritage Church at 2100 N Bryan Ave in Shawnee.
    \- USATF Sanctioned Event, Certified…
  • 🏃 Choose Your K (Oklahoma Christian University, Edmond, OK - Edmond) Choose Your K caters to the needs of runners in training for any distance!
    Runners need to test their fitness. Runners need to practice race pace and feel. Runners need to practice…
  • 🎨 COMIX: OK (Oklahoma Contemporary - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Following the success of Not For Sale: Graffiti Culture in Oklahoma, COMIX OK looks at the thriving artistic culture of comics in Oklahoma. The comics genre is wide ranging and hard to…
  • ContempCon (Oklahoma Contemporary - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Dive into the world of comics at ContempCon, a two-day comic convention in the heart of Oklahoma City. Hosted by…
  • Danielle Nicole (VZD's - Oklahoma City)
  • Oklahoma City Farm Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Last Day At the Oklahoma City Farm Show, you'll find everything having to do with agriculture in one location. With over 300…
  • Fort Reno Ghost Tours (Historic Fort Reno - El Reno) Come along on an exciting and spooky ghost tour at El Reno's historic Fort Reno. This ghost tour includes…
  • Heard on Hurd (Edmond) On the third Saturday of each month, downtown Edmond hosts a pop-up community celebration called Heard on Hurd. Walk…
  • Hinder (The State Theatre - Harrah)
  • Hot Rod Cookout & Concert (Beacon Drive In Theatre - Guthrie) The Hot Rod Cookout and Concert in Guthrie is an opportunity for car enthusiasts to gather to see awesome cars and…
  • Lebanese Heritage & Food Festival (Our Lady of Lebanon - Norman) Bring the family and your appetite to the Lebanese Heritage & Food Festival in Norman. Held all day at Our Lady of…
  • Living History on the Chisholm Trail (Chisholm Trail Museum & Seay Mansion - Kingfisher) Day 2 of 2 Catch a glimpse of the past at Living History on the Chisholm Trail in Kingfisher. This event, held at the Chisholm…
  • MercyMe (Starlight Amphitheater @ Frontier City - Oklahoma City) Spend the day splashing in the Renegade Rapids or screaming on the Silver Bullet at Frontier City Theme Park before…
  • Night on the Bricks (Downtown - Shawnee) Day 2 of 2 Gather in downtown Shawnee for a new festival in celebration of its status as Redbud City. Enjoy a night full of food,…
  • OKC Energy FC vs Saint Louis FC (Taft Stadium - Oklahoma City) Experience the excitement of major league soccer in Oklahoma as the Oklahoma City Energy Football Club takes on Saint…
  • OKC Jazz Fest (Bicentennial Park - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 In downtown Oklahoma City, the OKC Jazz Fest takes over the Civic Center Music Hall and Bicentennial Park for six days.…
  • OKC Pow Wow Club Spring Benefit (Oklahoma City) Don't miss the OKC Pow Wow Club's third-annual Spring Benefit in Oklahoma City. This inter-tribal powwow…
  • 😂 Paul Hooper (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Last Day
  • Reckless Kelly et al. (Firelake Arena - Shawnee)
  • Norman Round-up Club Open Rodeo (Cleveland County Fairgrounds - Norman) Day 2 of 2 Head to Norman to see cowboys and cowgirls participate in traditional rodeo events at the Norman Round-up Club Open…
  • Shen Yun (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Classical Chinese dance, dazzling costumes, impressive backdrops and a live orchestra make Shen Yun a performance you…
  • Shen Yun Performing Arts (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2
  • UCO Army ROTC Gold Bar 5K Run & Walk (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Held rain or shine, the UCO Army ROTC Gold Bar 5K Run and Walk invites everyone out to partake in this exciting event.…
  • USTPA Spring Round-Up (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) 1 day left Watch as riders race against time while showcasing their herding skills at the USTPA Spring Round-Up. Held in…

Sunday, Apr 22nd

  • 89er Days Celebration (Downtown - Guthrie) Last Day The annual '89er Days Celebration commemorates the Land Run of 1889 and the birth of Guthrie. On April 22, 1889,…
  • 🎨 COMIX: OK (Oklahoma Contemporary - Oklahoma City) Last Day Following the success of Not For Sale: Graffiti Culture in Oklahoma, COMIX OK looks at the thriving artistic culture of comics in Oklahoma. The comics genre is wide ranging and hard to…
  • ContempCon (Oklahoma Contemporary - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Dive into the world of comics at ContempCon, a two-day comic convention in the heart of Oklahoma City. Hosted by…
  • Jake Miller (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Hear the smooth pop crooning of artist Jake Miller live as he takes over the 89th Street stage. Best known for his…
  • J. Roddy Walston And The Business et al. (Opolis - Norman)
  • 🏃 P4C5K (Pray For Caleb 5K) (FBC Newcastle - Newcastle) On December 19, Newcastle cross country runner and basketball player Caleb Freeman was badly injured in a car accident -- #butGod! -- he is on a remarkable journey of recovery. Mark your…
  • SW 29th Street Children's Day Festival (Oklahoma City) Bring the kids out for the annual SW 29th Street Children's Day Festival in Oklahoma City. This fun-filled…
  • USTPA Spring Round-Up (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) Last Day Watch as riders race against time while showcasing their herding skills at the USTPA Spring Round-Up. Held in…

Monday, Apr 23rd

  • Jimmy Webb (OCCC Visual and Performing Arts Center - Oklahoma City)
  • Taste of Midwest City (Reed Conference Center - Midwest City) Pair rich red wines and dry white wines with the best eats Midwest City has to offer. The Taste of Midwest City features…

Tuesday, Apr 24th

  • The Book of Mormon (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th The Book of Mormon is coming to Oklahoma City's Civic Center Music Hall. Get ready for hours of laughter at this…
  • Festival of the Arts (Bicentennial Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th Known as Oklahoma City's annual "rite of spring," the Festival of the Arts is a six-day community…
  • Food Truck Tuesdays (Jackson - Blanchard) Every week, treat your taste buds to new flavors. During Food Truck Tuesdays, a different food truck will park in…
  • The Pritchard - April Fooled, Blind Tasting with Amie Hendrickson (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:30pm
  • Wheeler Criterium (Oklahoma City) Once the weather starts warming up, gather your crew and head south of the Oklahoma River for the Wheeler Criterium each…

See Also

submitted by eventbot to okc [link] [comments]


2018.02.13 18:28 Ungoliant0 [Guide] Gold to Champion: How I've done it, and how you can too

So a little bit about myself.
I'm by no means a pro, or even close to it. A while back, I was stuck at Gold after around 1900 hours (far too many for this level. especially seeing the latest rank/hours poll). I wanted to get better at the game, but wasn't sure how.
When I asked higher ranked players, they mostly told me I just needed to practice, but never told me how. I just knew what I was doing was not working out. As well as using my time wrong, I used horrible settings and hardware, that further slowed my improvement to close to nonexistent. Eventually I figured out what I needed to do, with the help of a great coach that showed me the right way. Hit C1 at ~2300 hours and C3 at 2800 hours. So now I'm hoping to give back to the community, and hopefully help some players that are stuck like I was.
I know there are many guides around, but the advantage of this one, is that I still remember how it was like to be stuck in Gold, and the things I was missing that might seem obvious to many of you, but weren't to me, and are probably not obvious to bronze/silvegold players. While this forum tends to attract higher ranked players, I know there are many here who could use the help.
This guide is for people that are stuck at bronze-diamond for a long time, or beginners, and not sure how to improve, but want to, and are willing to put in the time and effort to become the best they can.
This guide is focused on improving the way you use your RL time, thus improving your rate of improvement, rather than telling you to work on anecdotal mistakes you make, and specific things you need to improve.
Some things I list here might be subjective, or perhaps wrong. I might've missed something. Let me know if I have. Criticism is welcome, since I consider this guide a work in progress. Keep in mind, there might be other ways to improve. Some things might work for some, some might not, some might work for others. Some might be faster learners, and some might need to work harder for the same improvement.
Anyway, this is what worked out for me, and hopefully will help and won't get me flamed to death.
 

Practice/Training:

  • In order to learn new skills, you need focused training and many repetitions in order to develop muscle memory. You don't get that in a match.
  • Instead of using 100% of your game time in a match, use 20-50% of it to practice, and play matches with the rest. Even 10-20 minutes a day is far better than no training at all, as long as it's an effective training. Practice mechanics, from simple first, to advanced. Each time focusing on 2-4 new skills. At first you will have a hard time, and feel like it's impossible to learn, but with enough repetitions you would learn. You can watch videos or listen to music while you do it, so it doesn't get boring.
  • When to train: It is crucial to train daily. 10 minutes a day, for a week, are exponentially more valuable than 70 minutes, in one sitting, every week. Having a consistent schedule is important. This is true for any skill in life - playing an instrument, sports, going to the gym, studying a difficult course, or trying to solve a difficult problem at work, etc. So it is very important to work on the skills you're currently working on, every day, rather than once every week for a long time. Practicing and playing too much is also counter productive. Our brains are an incredible piece of software that needs rest and relaxation every once in a while, in order to gain improvement. Just like going to the gym, there's a set schedule, eating right, and working out right. But it is also important to get enough sleep, and get enough rest between workouts.
  • Custom Training:
    These are probably all you're going to need for a while. There are many other sources for packs, like RLCustomTraining, or just a simple google search.
  • BakkesMod: Use this mod to make your training/custom training sessions even more efficient. It lets you randomize custom training order, lets you randomize shots, mirror shots, gives your freeplay new abilities like passing the ball to yourself, passing the ball to the backboard and more.
  • Steam Workshop: Some things custom training cannot help you with. For that I recommend using the following:
    • Dribbling Challenge #2 - by French Fries - very important! not only for 1s, but for 2s and 3s.
    • Speed Jump 2: Remastered - By dmc - great for aerial car control. Once this starts becoming easy, start making turns using kuxir twists only. There are other workshop maps that might be useful, but these two are most important in my opinion. The point of workshop maps, is giving you non boring goals, and divide them to small chunks, so they are easier to accomplish and not get bored - example - driving around in freeplay trying to dribble the ball might be pretty boring after 5 minutes. Running the dribbling challenge workshop map though, is pretty fun, and easy to do for a longer time.
  • Guides: There are many great youtube channels for rocket league guides. Best one in my opinion is Kevpert's- start from the simplest one, work on it for a week, or however long it takes, and move on to the next one once you feel like you've mastered it.
  • Skills to read/watch guides about: Each time focus on 2-4 mechanics. Start with simple things like basic shots, goalkeeping, passing, clearing, aerials, rotation & positioning. Move on to some more advanced skills like bounce dribble, dribble, ball carry, flicks, fast aerials, wall clears, redirects. Then move on to the more advanced fancy stuff like air dribble, ceiling shots, flip resets, double taps. There are many guides online. Now that you know the name of the skill, you can just google it. Many of these are covered by Kevpert's guides. Those that aren't I tried to provide a decent guide for:

* Freeplay: Once you master skills, you need to incorporate them into your gameplay. Start going for these new-skill shots during matches and in freeplay. Just run around the map with the ball, and try to hit difficult shots, read wall bounces, clear shots, imagine you're passing to your team mate who's waiting somewhere, etc.

 

Positioning, Rotation & Passing

You can't learn this only by reading/watching guides. For this, you also need the next section (watching pros play).
 

Watch Pros Play & Your Own Replays:

Can do this while you eat or whatever.
Squishy is great. JohnnyBoi has some nice matches and commentary. Lots of pros on youtube/twitch as well.
This is important in order for you to start developing intuition for proper mechanics and positioning (your mind learns just by watching). For example, during my bronze-gold days, I used to play with ballcam only. I noticed pros take ballcam off when dribbling for example, and on other situations. Since I've seen many hours of pros play by then, I had no problem incorporating it into my game play. I just knew what to do, without even thinking about it. By watching pros play you'd also learn about positioning, rotation, passing & waiting\positioning to receive a pass etc.
Watch your own replays and compare to pros, or have a higher ranked coach analyse your replays with you.
 

1v1s:

Even if your main focus is 2s or 3s, play & watch some 1s as well, to develop 1s skills like when to challenge, shadowing, and how to attack 1 on 1, etc.
 

Challenge yourself and never stop practicing:

Challenge yourself, even in-game. Go for challenging/difficult shots/passes/clears/saves etc, and don't hesitate or wait for the ball to drop to an easier position (unless no one is challenging it, then you can just control the ball and slow down the game). For example, if there's a clear to be made that you usually struggle with, go for it. Even if you whiff, with enough repetitions, eventually you'll improve. As long as you do this only in ranked (and not in a tournament), everything is fine. Worst case, you'll lose a game.
When waiting between games, go to freeplay or custom training. After scoring (before the replay starts) practice kuxir twists, half flips, try to hit the crossbar flying upside down / sideways, or land with 4 wheels on the ceiling or any other mechanic that you're currently working on.
 

Video Settings:

Competitive Video settings (for an explanation - bottom of this guide) should be used for optimal play, instead of putting everything on max settings. These are the settings most pros use. The more FPS, the less input lag, even if your monitor is only 60Hz. You don't need all those fancy effects like dynamic shadows (that can reduce FPS by 50-100), or ones that are actively hindering your gameplay, like blinding rays of light. If you want RL to look beautiful, it comes with a cost to gameplay. If you're focused on improving, there's no reason to use other settings, even if your PC can overpower the game. These settings are for optimal competitive play. More FPS is an objective advantage.
 

Camera Settings:

Camera settings are subjective, but there are still some that would statistically work better than others. Use any pro camera settings list as a reference, and pick one that you like for yourself. If you're completely unsure what your preferences are, you could try choosing ones that are somewhat close to the pros average. Check out these links: - Liquipedia Pros Camera List - Prosettings Pros Camera List - Prosettings Pros Camera Guide
 

Monitor:

Get a 144Hz-240Hz monitor. Optimal (for RL) monitor features - 240Hz, 24", 1ms response time, TN panel, 1080p. Getting a higher resolution monitor, like 2k-4k, might be nice for other games/browsing/work, but for RL it makes your PC work harder, providing less FPS. Most pros use the BenQ XL2540 monitor (240Hz, 24", 1ms response time, TN panel, 1080p). Make sure your PC can support needed fps (more than 144 for 144Hz, more than 240 for 240Hz), with competitive settings, without overheating, otherwise there's no use getting the monitor. More FPS is an objective advantage.
 

Controller:

Controller is down to personal preference. I do encourage you to experiment and see what works best for you (might take you a few days to get used to a new controller). Having said that, this is my personal, anecdotal experience: I used to use XBOX360, XBOX One, Razer Wildcat controllers. XBOX controllers always felt more comfortable to me. After one week of getting used to DS4 (was a horrible week...) though, it just felt like this game was made with a DS controller in mind. The left stick control felt a lot smoother, and the small triggers felt better. Most pros use the DS4. It might not be a causative relation, as many pros used to play SARPBC (PS exclusive), but it does have some objective advantages, like double the polling rate (250Hz for DS4, compared to 125Hz of the XBOX360/One, and 100Hz of the DS3). Personally, I would recommend using a DS4 for RL, but I acknowledge the fact it is personal preference.
 

Input Shape:

Some controllers, like the DS3, come with a square input shape. However DS4, XBOX360 & XBOX One, have circle input shape. This means, the further you are from the axes, the more your movement is restricted. For example, having your stick exactly diagonally, will only give you square(0.5)~=0.707 of the x and y values possible.
To enable the full range of motion, you pretty much have 2 options that I'm aware of: - Square Input Shape: Up to 04:37 is an explanation about deadzone. 04:37 onwards is an explanation about square input shape, and gives simple instructions for a steam-built-in solution. Recent video by Rocket Science says the steam solution adds 1ms of input lag. So I would suggest using DS4Windows (to enable DS4 without Steam) and RL Durazno to square your input shape. RLDurazno enables you to see the effect of your transformation, thus enabling you to choose the perfect fit for your controller. - Increase Sensitivity: You can do this ingame (steering and aerial sensitivity). Some pros don't use square, like Squishy. Though he does use increased stick sensitivity 1.3. And since 0.707*1.3=0.92, he should have a close enough effect).
If you are aware of these options, and understand them but still choose to stay without square, that's fine as well. Some players tried both options, and find square input map is too sensitive for them resulting in less accuracy. If you do decide to make the change, expect a few days to 2-3 weeks of getting used to it. Use Durazno to make sure your controller gives you the full range of motion possible.
 

Keybinds:

As CBTactics wrote:
The important part is that you should not be hindered by your controls. Certain mechanics require being able to use all or some combination of boost, jump, and powerslide. Bad controls will prohibit these movements. Viable controls will allow them.
These keybinds are pretty intuitive and viable in my opinion (watch this for an explanation):
All default except:
  • Left BumpeL1 - Airroll + Powerslide.
  • Right BumpeR1 - Boost.
  • Square - Ballcam toggle.
Obviously, any other set of binds can work just as well if not better (or worse).
There are RLCS winners that use claw grip, many pros use default settings, Rizzo uses his left stick to drive forward/backwards, there are pros that use keyboard (Yukeo).
Find what works out best for you, making sure you can easily reach boost/jump/powerslide simultaneously, and don't be afraid of experimenting.
 

Car:

This is a great watch regarding the subject. It is pretty old by now, and some of the information in it is outdated. For example all cars are now using one of the standardized presets for handling and hitbox introduced in the Anniversary Update (Read more about it here). The argument in the video still stands though. Car choice is subjective. Some cars might work better for some, and worse for others. Some cars might statistically work better for more players. There might be a good reason to choose the popular cars, and there might not. Even with same hitbox, visuals have an affect on your game play, and how your mind perceives the information on the screen. You could use any car you're feeling comfortable with. Take in account that each car induces a slightly different kind of playstyle. If you're looking for a general guideline, I would say that statistically, Octane, Batmobile and Dominus are best. There might be a causation relation there, and it might just be only correlation. I would say its a mix of both, and your best bet is to probably go with one of these 3, unless you're seeing incredible results with other cars. But still you're free to choose for yourself.
 

Have fun!

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2017.12.06 03:05 patriotsfan543 /r/OnTheFarm Mods' 2018 Top 100 Prospect Rankings: 100-91

The Methodology 4 of our great /OnTheFarm mods created their own top 100 lists and combined we came up with a formula to fairly average the 100 out. We feel this was the fairest way to come up with a communal list. A huge shoutout to asroka, Tschirky4, and gpratt283 who made this all possible. And a special shoutout to enjoyingcarp650 who helped with some write-ups! We hope you enjoy.
TL;DR
100: OF Daz Cameron 99: 1B Yordan Alvarez 98: LHP Max Fried 97: RHP Jose De Leon 96: RHP Riley Pint 95: 3B Austin Riley 94: RHP Beau Burrows 93: RHP Jose Albertos 92: RHP Shane Baz 91: OF Jeren Kendall
100: Daz Cameron, OF Detroit Tigers - (50 Points) Written by patriotsfan543
120 games in Single-A: .271/.349/.466 with 14 HR, 73 RBI, and 32 SB
6'2" 180 lbs Throws: R Bats: R
Daz Cameron, son of Mike Cameron, kicks off our top 100 rankings. Daz had himself a great year in Single-A and was a piece of the trade that sent Justin Verlander to Houston. Daz Cameron was drafted 37th overall in the 2015 MLB Draft by the Houston Astros and has slowly climbed up the prospect rankings and is starting to make a name for himself. Daz was drafted out of high school in Georgia and he is still only 20 years old. His first season in rookie ball it took a bit of an adjustment as he only hit .222 with the GCL Astros, but later in the year would hit .272 still in rookie ball, but on a different team. Cameron got his first taste of ball above rookie ball in 2016 and he struggled heavily to the promotion, hitting .143 in 77 at-bats, but for a 19-year old it’s hard to expect a lot out of him that early. This past season (2017) was his coming out party as he started piling up some seriously good stats. In Single-A, he hit .271 with 14 homers and 73 RBIs. Those stats are impressive, but what really stands out is his stolen base total. Cameron swiped 32 bags during the season, getting caught 12 times. This is showing that his speed is legit and he could potentially be a five-tool player. Daz is still a little ways away from the Major Leagues as he is only in Single-A as of last year, but he will almost definitely begin 2018 in Double-A. Cameron’s path to the Major Leagues should be easier now that he is on Detroit, who are now rebuilding, instead of being in Houston where he might have been logjammed. Daz is a fantastic future Centerfielder and could be patrolling Center in Detroit by 2019. Cameron has potential to be a 20/20 guy at the very least with about a .260 or .270 batting average. He will be a very valuable fantasy commodity.
Highest Ranking: 73
Lowest Ranking: Unranked
99: Yordan Alvarez, 1B Houston Astros – (50 Points) Written by u/tschirky4
32 games at Low-A: .360/.468/.658, 15 XBH, 9 HR in 111 AB’s 58 games at HIgh-A: .277/.329/.393, 17 XBH, 3 HR in 224 AB’s
6-foot-5 225 pounds 1B/OF Bats: L Throws: L
Signed by the Dodgers out of Cuba during the 2016 international signing period, Yordan Alvarez was a bit of an unknown commodity, not showing up on MLB.coms list of top 30 international free agents, but that didn’t stop LA from giving him a $2,000,000 signing bonus. The Dodgers organization is one of the top scouting organizations in the league, consistently finding gems late in the first year player draft and signing under the radar international prospects who blossom into stars. Unfortunately, their lack of depth in the bullpen forced them to trade Alvarez to the Houston Astros for Josh Fields without him ever taking an at bat for the organization. While Fields has pitched well for LA, the Astros may have found themselves a steal.
At 6-foot-5 and 225 pounds with room to grow, Alvarez’s power will always be at the center of discussion. While his size certainly causes a lot of excitement in regards to his ceiling, his advanced eye and natural feel for hitting should calm any concerns about a low floor that usually comes with large power hitting first basemen.
Alvarez’s trips to two different levels of pro ball in 2017 were two completely different experiences. In his time at Low-A, he showed off that immense power that has scouts salivating during his BP sessions, smacking 9 homers in just 111 at bats. Unfortunately, that came with a 32% K-rate which he helped offset with a 17% BB-rate, good for a .468 OBP and .658 SLG. During his 224 at bat stint at High-A, he was a completely different hitter, focusing more on his patience and making consistent contact with the ball. This caused a substantial drop in his K-rate all the way down to 18% with his walk rate also dropping to 8%, all at the expense of his power, as he hit only 3 home runs.
While Alvarez’s defense is good enough to let him play in the outfield, he will almost certainly stick to 1B in the bigs, though defense will never be a focal point in his game. His bat will carry him to the big leagues and I believe that the diversity he faced at two different levels last year will ultimately help him become a better hitter. If he can find a happy medium between his Low-A and High-A numbers, we’re talking about a potential .300/.400/.500 hitter with 30+ home runs.
High Ranking: 51
Low Ranking: Unranked
98: Max Fried, LHP Atlanta Braves – (51 Points) Written by asroka
19 games started at Double-A (86.2 innings): 8.83 K/9; 4.47 BB/9; 5.92 ERA 9 games with Atlanta (26 innings; four games started): 7.62 K/9; 4.15 BB/9; 3.81 ERA
6-foot-4 200 pounds LHP Bats: L; Throws: L
Much has already been written about Max Fried, especially now that he’s made his Major League debut. He pitched in parts of nine games last season for the Braves, making four starts, since his call-up in early August. Despite entering the season as a 23-year-old, Fried had not yet pitched above Class-A ball. He was originally drafted by the Padres seventh overall in 2012 out of a California high school.
While recovering from Tommy John surgery in December of 2014, which forced him to miss a huge chunk of the previous season and all of the 2015, Fried was a part of the blockbuster trade that sent the Braves’ Justin Upton to San Diego. He spent the entirety of the 2016 season proving his health in Class-A Rome and made 20 starts and threw 100-plus innings before the Braves deemed his season complete and a success. His swing-miss-stuff remained post-surgery (26.4 percent), if his walk rates were still too high (11.1 percent). To start 2017, the Braves gave Fried his first career start in Double A where he looked like the same pitcher, only against stiffer competition. Nineteen solid starts with the Mississippi Braves was enough for his parent club to push him to Triple A where he had an abbreviated two-start stay before he was called up to Atlanta. Fried pitched four times out of Atlanta’s bullpen in August before he was given his first career start against the Cubs on September 3 at Wrigley Field. He pitched well enough to earn his first big league win that day and wound up making three more starts for the Braves before the season concluded. In those four starts total, Fried cut down on his walks and sampled some of his whiff-inducing stuff. Once the regular season ended, the Braves selected Fried to pitch in the Arizona Fall League where he wound up leading the league in strikeouts and finally allowed evaluators to see what he can look like while commanding his full repertoire -- he allowed just eight walks in his 26 innings pitched.
If you couldn’t catch any of his end-of-the-year starts, Fried has an electric arsenal and if he can harness his stuff and walk fewer batters he can take the next step and become one of the best lefties in the sport. Fried throws in the mid-to-upper 90s with regularity and has a big, sweeping curveball that’s hard to square up. His changeup is hard to hit, too, given his release point and his fastball velocity. As long as he’s locating his fastball, his changeup will be made effective by default. Fried is probably locked into the Braves’ 2018 rotation and is one of the few lefties on this list who we can say as true top-of-the-rotation upside.
Highest Ranking: 50 Low Ranking: Unranked
97: Jose De Leon, RHP Tampa Bay Rays – (53 Points) patriotsfan543
2017 Stats: MLB(TB): 2.2 IP, 4 H, 3 ER, 10.13 ERA AAA: 12 IP, 6.75 ERA A+: 14.1 IP, 1.88 ERA Rookie(Rehab Assignment): 12 IP, 0.75 ERA
Jose De Leon finds himself at #97 in our rankings, his stock dropping this past season. De Leon was part of the Logan Forsythe swap last offseason with the Los Angeles Dodgers, the Dodgers got Forsythe, and the Rays got De Leon. Injuries have derailed De Leon as of recent and is the major reason why his stock has fallen off as of late. In 2016 he missed five weeks of the season with shoulder soreness, but was able to pitch in the latter half of the season. 2017 was no different story and was even worse. He started out the season on the minor league DL with a strained flexor tendon in his pitching arm then in June he was diagnosed with a mild lat strain that kept him out for a while. All in all, De Leon pitched 40 innings combined in various levels throughout the 2017 season, far from ideal for De Leon. It is hard to believe in De Leon long term as some of the injuries he’s had have been known to be precursors to Tommy John surgery and even if TJ isn’t a concern it’s still not good that he can’t stay on the mound.
When healthy, Jose De Leon can be dominant, but it seems to be rare these days that he is healthy. De Leon has progressed through the minor league system steadily with inconsistent results. His first season in rookie ball he struggled, but picked it up in the 2014 season, having a 1.19 ERA in a short stint for the single-A team for the Dodgers. 2015 he really made a name for himself as he pitched a lot more innings in Double-A and posted good numbers(3.64 ERA). De Leon had a breakout campaign in 2016 playing in AAA, tossing 86.1 innings and carrying a 2.92 ERA for the RedHawks. De Leon has some Major League innings racked up, but he has been far from successful in them. This past season he appeared for the Rays in May for 2.2 innings and let up 3 runs before he got injured later in the season in the minors. The Rays definitely would like if De Leon could turn things around and they can slot him in their rotation, and I expect the Rays to give him a shot to win a job in Spring Training, but they may keep him in AAA to fix some things to start the season. De Leon is already 25 so the Rays are hoping that he can turn things around and quickly.
High Ranking: 72
Low Ranking: Unranked
96: Riley Pint, RHP Colorado Rockies – (58 Points) u/enjoyingcarp650
22 games started at Single A (93 IP): 7.6 K/9; 5.7 BB/9; 5.42 ERA, 1.67 WHIP
6 foot 4 195 lbs RHP Bats: R, Throws: R
Riley Pint was ranked the second best overall prospect in the 2016 draft (according to Baseball America), and the best pitcher in that draft. The Colorado Rockies took him 4th overall in 2016, hoping his raw stuff can give them a front of the rotation arm. You cannot teach the velocity and movement his fastball has, and Pint already has a good feel for the changeup which makes his ceiling as high as any prospect. Of course being a high school pitcher in Colorado there is a low, low floor.
The teenager from Kansas has one of the best fastballs in the minors, regularly hitting the upper 90’s and effortlessly getting triple digit velocity. Pint’s 88 MPH changeup is plus pitch and will only get better the more he throws it. The righty also features two different breaking balls - a power curve and slider, but sometimes they can look similar. His pure, raw stuff is advanced for his age, and he also has much less mileage on his arm. Pint took measures to limit his innings during his amatuer career to protect himself from future injury (he was profiled in Jeff Passan’s book, The Arm). Colorado took the same measure to limit his innings in 2016 and 2017, so it will be interesting to see if they up his innings next season.
Of course there are some concerns with Pint. The biggest issue with Pint are his violent and complicated mechanics. It is difficult to repeat which hurts his command; Pint walked over 5 batters per 9 innings at Class A Asheville in 2017. His 2017 numbers overall weren’t pretty - 2-11, 5.42 ERA, 79 SO, 59 BB in 93 innings. Those poor numbers could be related to his .325 BABIP and Pint is running into bad luck, but he needs to refine the delivery.
Being a pitcher in Coors Field doesn’t really bode well for his future projections hurts his rankings. There are plenty of Rockies pitchers who have outperformed their base numbers when you do an eye test. Riley Pint has the athletic skill and power repertoire to be a frontline starter, much like Justin Verlander. But expectations should be tempered when you look at where his home games will be played.
High Ranking:77 Low Ranking:Unranked
95: Austin Riley, 3B Atlanta Braves – (60 Points) u/tschirky4
81 games at High-A: .252/.310/.408, 23 XBH, 12 HR’s in 306 AB’s 48 games at Double A: .315/.389/.511, 18 XBH, 8 HR’s in 178 AB’s
6-foot-3 220 pounds 3B Bats: R, Throws: R
Scouts were split on Riley being a hitter or a pitcher coming out of high school in 2015, but the Atlanta Braves eventually decided that he belonged at 3rd base when they took him 41st overall. He showed everyone that the Braves made the right choice by hitting 12 homers with a .544 SLG in just 217 at bats in rookie ball. He spent all of the 2016 season at Single-A, accruing an under-the-radar .271/.324/.479 batting line with 20 HR’s.
Despite these solid numbers and his high draft pedigree, he was not ranked as a top 100 prospect by MLB.com. His underwhelming start to the 2017 season kept him off the mid-season list, but the damage he did in AA could finally see his arrival as a consensus top 100 prospect. Riley has always kept a reasonable strikeout rate around 25% with his walk rate always hovering around 10%. It wasn’t until AA when he stopped hitting so many balls in the air and started hitting more line drives that he saw more success. Though he’s topped out at 20 homers 2 years in a row now, his bat carries 25-30 home run potential that he may just now be starting to tap into. He continued his hot second half in the Arizona Fall League where he hit .300 with a .364 OBP and a league leading .657 SLG, beating his all-world teammate Ronald Acuna by 18 points. He also ranked second in the league in HR’s with 6 right behind Acuna’s 7.
Needless to say, Riley’s power is legit, and the rest of his game is starting to round into form. He had questions on whether or not he would stick at 3rd base, with many scouts believing he had no chance. However, he vastly improved on his defense this year and now has a legitimate shot to stick at the hot corner, with his cannon of an arm keeping the doubters at bay. Even if he does have to eventually move across the diamond, his bat is more than talented enough to warrant top 10 1st base type seasons in fantasy leagues.
High Ranking: 66 Low Ranking: Unranked
94: Beau Burrows, RHP Detroit Tigers – (62 Points) Written by asroka
11 games started at High-A (58.2 innings): 9.51 K/9; 1.69 BB/9; 1.23 ERA 15 games started at Double-A (76.1 innings): 8.84 K/9; 3.89 BB/9; 4.72 ERA
6-foot-2 200 pounds RHP Bats: R; Throws: R
A former first round draft pick, Burrows wasn’t the most popular selection amongst Tigers fans back in June 2015. Detroit picked Burrows ahead of fellow prep pitchers Mike Nikorak, Mike Soroka, and Nolan Watson, all of whom had significantly more draft “helium” than Burrows. Yet, two-and-half years later, the Tigers 2015 first rounder is definitively the more desirable prospect to control than Nikorak or Watson and is on a similar level to Atlanta’s Soroka.
Like Soroka, Burrows achieved a promotion to Double A in 2017. Unlike Soroka, Burrows’ career trajectory has fluctuated up and down. He had a great pro debut in Rookie ball and seemed to justify his first-round status in the late summer of 2015 but faltered the following year in a full-year stay in Class-A ball. Burrows struck out well over 10 batters per nine during his Rookie ball days in his draft year but his K% plummeted in 2016 to just 17 percent. Aggressively, the Tigers decided to challenge Burrows and promoted him to High-A Lakeland at the start of the 2017 season and he’s since regained nearly all of the optimism he initially garnered as a 2015 draftee.
Burrows’ delivery is a little funky -- he doesn’t stride much -- but he’s shown that he can repeat it well and it’s added a level of deceptiveness to his opposition. At Lakeland, Burrows flourished. He sustained a K/9 of 9.51 and walked fewer than two per nine across 11 starts and nearly 60 innings pitched. That was enough for the Tigers to promote him in June to their Double-A affiliate where Burrows was more or less the same pitcher. His walk rate jumped to 10 percent, but he was still striking out nearly 23 percent of batters faced -- a great number for a 20-year-old Double-A debutant.
In his arsenal, Burrows is mixing a mid-90s fastball with a changeup, curveball, and slider. His changeup might be his best secondary offering; it has late life it’s made more effective by Burrows’ good command. But, if not his change, his curveball is a big strength; it breaks hard and he’s demonstrated confidence in it, tossing it to both lefties and righties. According to some evaluators, the way Burrows delivers doesn’t necessarily facilitate the development of a strong slider, so that’ll be something to watch. Still, three pitches and good-to-great command makes Burrows one of the best right-handed pitching prospects in baseball and is contributing to a future Tigers rotation that could roar in the not-too-far-out future.
High Ranking:77 Low Ranking:98
93: Jose Albertos, RHP Chicago Cubs – (67 Points) Written by u/asroka
2 games started at AZL (8.1): 6.5 K/9; 3.2 BB/9; 4.32 ERA; 1.08 WHIP 8 games started at Low-A (34.2): 10.9 K/9; 3.4 BB/9; 2.86 ERA; 1.10 WHIP
6-foot-1 185 pounds RHP Bats: R, Throws: R
Jose Albertos’ profile is the blueprint of a high-risk, high-reward pitching prospect. He throws a heavy fastball in the mid-90s that has generated tons of groundballs and swings and misses, and he has two other pitches that can carry him to a big league rotation one day; a sharp curveball he throws with confidence and maybe one of the minors’ best changeups that ducks barrels with relative ease -- when it’s on.
That’s the thing, Albertos was signed as a lottery ticket 16-year old when the Cubs scout staff dove into the Mexican international pool and came up with a few prospects, Albertos being one of them. Two years later, having only just turned 19, Albertos is still a lottery ticket, but one who’s taken the necessary developmental steps to earn a spot on a list like this. He’s far from putting it all together and has reportedly not yet grasped the command over his enticing arsenal. This is a common flaw within prospects who’ve only just made it out of Rookie ball. But it’s a little different with Albertos because he does not possess any of the athleticism his peers have demonstrated that elicit the confidence in pro scouts that can assure them he’ll be able to withstand the rigors of starting a full season in and out. In addition to his lack of athleticism, Albertos also struggles to repeat his delivery, so a mechanical change may still be in his future, especially considering he’s dealt with some vague injuries the past couple of years.
Still, Albertos was able to strike out over 28 percent of the batters he faced during his introduction to Low-A last season. He managed 34.2 innings (eight starts) pitched in Eugene, Oregon, at the Northwest League and is the type of prospect who could feasibly be labeled, in the next few years, either the Cubs’ next big thing or fail to ever make it out of Triple-A Iowa.
High Ranking:34 Low Ranking:Unranked
92: Shane Baz, RHP Pittsburgh Pirates (70 Points) Written byu/tschirky4
10 games started at Rookie ball: (23.2 IP) 7.3 K/9; 5.4 BB/9; 3.80 ERA, 1.69 WHIP
6-foot-3 190 pounds RHP Bats: R, Throws: R
When I first saw Shane Baz’s scouting report leading up to last years draft, I prayed that an organization with a history of developing pitchers drafted him. That is exactly what happened when he fell to the Pirates 12th overall. The Pirates have a recent history of developing solid minor league arms with Tyler Glasnow and Mitch Keller, and to a lesser extent Steven Brault and Nick Kingham. While Glasnow has struggled at the major league level, he still has the chance to be a star due to the Pirates development program and current major league pitching coach, legendary Ray Searage. Searage has turned around the careers of guys like JA Happ and Francisco Liriano recently, and though we have to wait a few years, I can’t wait to see what he can do with Shane Baz’s deep arsenal.
That said arsenal includes five different pitches that are all seen as average or above average. With a high school prep pitcher, you usually hope to have two or three pitches to work with, with the possibility of adding another if necessary. To already have five to work with is unheard of. His fastball is his best pitch, consistently sitting in the mid 90’s throughout games and reaching up to 98 MPH with some sink to it. He also features two different offerings in his cutter and slider, as opposed to most pitchers who throw one or the other. His cutter reaches the high 80’s and generates a lot of swings-and-misses while his slider sits in the low 80’s and induces a lot of soft contact. His curveball is his 4th best pitch, one that he doesn’t use too often but can still generate strikeouts by catching batters off guard during his third time through the lineup. He has a solid changeup that he can throw if he desires, though he almost never needs it with his already impressive arsenal.
While Baz didn’t have the same immediate success as his fellow prep pitcher draftee McKenzie Gore, his first 24 pro ball innings do not indicate what type of pitcher he is or can be and should be taken with a grain of salt. His secondary pitchers weren’t as electric as the pirates had hoped and his fastball command was lacking, but this could all be due to fatigue from throwing more innings than he was used to. Scouts have praised his pitchability and his understanding of pitch sequencing and dedication to honing in his craft. After showing what he can do over a full season, he can easily shoot up the pitching prospect rankings and with his hard work, dedication, and advanced arsenal, he could be on the fast track to the majors.
High Ranking:56
Low Ranking:Unranked
91: Jeren Kendall, OF LA Dodgers – (71 Points) Written byu/patriotsfan543
5 games at Rookie ball: .455/.455/.727, 1 HR, 4 SB in 22 AB’s 35 games at Single A: .221/.290/.400, 2 HR, 5 SB in 140 AB’s
6-foot-0 190 pounds OF Bats: L, Throws: R
Jeren Kendall was drafted by the Dodgers 23rd Overall in the 2017 MLB Draft out of Vanderbilt. Kendall showed his offensive prowess at Vandy, hitting .332 his sophomore year and then hitting .307 this past year. Kendall is a speedy centerfielder and has plus speed to go along with it. He has drawn a couple different comparisons, but one that seems closest is Jacoby Ellsbury. Both are lefty batter, although Kendall throws right, but they both have similar skillsets. Kendall fell a little in the draft because in wood bat leagues(Cape Cod), he struggled mightily at the plate and some teams were worried about him not being able to adjust at the pro level. Besides that there is a ton to love about Kendall and as a recent draftee he finds himself at #91.
Kendall came onto the pro ball scene guns blazing this season, hitting .455 in only 22 at-bats in Rookie League. Although it was a very small sample size, he quickly put the wood-bat haters in their place. The Dodgers quickly promoted him to the Single-A team and presented him with a challenge. Kendall struggled to find the same success at that level, slashing .221/.290/.400 with 2 HR, 18 RBI, and a 27.1 K% over 140 at-bats. Some struggles are expected for players in their first year in pro ball, but Kendall is a college draftee, not High School, so he better turn things around soon. His struggles are understandable though as it must have been a long season, playing a full college season in the spring. Expect Kendall to try to turn things around this year at Single-A and potentially jump to AA. Probably won’t be in the Majors for at least 2 years and it is compounded by the Dodgers’ crowded outfield, but a lot can change in 2 years.
High Ranking:56 Low Ranking:Unranked
submitted by patriotsfan543 to OnTheFarm [link] [comments]


2017.11.14 15:41 kyle-kranz Coach Kyle's FAQ's: Consistency

Greetings!
Welcome to Coach Kyle's Frequently Answered Questions!
Here, I touch base on the questions I most frequently answer. But, always wanting to learn, I want to have some dialog with YOU on what you think of the subject, practices you've put into place, and other questions you may have on this topic!
You can see past FAQ's here:
So, let's chat!
If there is one overarching training characteristic that will lead to improved running, it’s consistent training so you can remain healthy.
Obviously, there are other aspects of running that result in improvements, but being consistent with them is what matters. Eating 7 apples on Saturday isn’t going to cut it, people!
Below I want to talk about what I’m most mindful of in my own training to ensure that I am able to run as consistently as possible.
Easy, Easy Days
Generally speaking, the easier your habitual mileage is, the more you can run. That’s more mileage, more frequency, and more consistency. Basically, everything every runner loves ;)
In the winter I’ll do some of my easy mileage on the treadmill. I find that I run at a lower perceived effort and likely a slower pace indoors and I suspect this is far easier on my body (but it does increase my time on feet and per step)
Other ways to make sure your easy days are easy are to use measurements of effort or speed to keep yourself under control. For the majority of my easy mileage, such as today, I’ll go without a GPS and only use a simple stopwatch + perceived effort. I suspect that not actively having a piece of electronics tracking my every running movement helps me run easier. What I actually do is estimate a slower average pace when I log the run than I would probably run, which further helps me slow. If I’m going out for 10 easy miles and I am going to log 90 minutes (9:00 pace), I’m probably going to run easier since I’m probably running quicker than 9:00 pace.
Using a heart rate or pace range for easy mileage can be helpful too. The Maffetone Method of 180-your age = max training or average heart rate is a nice general suggestion if heart rate is your thing. For pace, 1.2x1.4 X your 5k race pace is a nice easy pace range. I actually run a bit slower than this pace range but well under the heart rate ceiling.
Infrequent Hard Days
I consistently do infrequent hard days.
What this means is that I only do a couple hard runs weekly, but I do them every week! Just because something is consistent does not mean it has to be frequent.
Currently every Tuesday and Fri/Sat I run hard, they’re not super frequent in the micro but in the macro, they’re consistently done twice every week. The only times I really don’t do two hard weekly runs are when I take a period of rest. Long runs are done almost every week. Since I’m focusing on the 5k distance I prioritize the two workouts, but will often still get in 10-14 mile days that include a harder session.
Proper Recovery Practices
The thing about only running hard a couple days weekly means, on the flip side, that I’m running easy or resting 5 days weekly! Is one more important than the other? No, both are necessary.
Outside of the actual easy running to facilitate regeneration/adaptation, there are other things that can be done. Sleep, nutrition, mobility, etc. The probably with this is that outside of a true study, it’s really not possible for me to determine if or to what extent recovery practices play a beneficial part in my training, but they’re part of my training.
I try to take some slow release protein the evening of every hard/long workout. I have 3 pairs of compression socks and thus typically spend 3 full days in compression socks during the week. I try to consistently get 100g+ of protein daily.
Be Willing to NOT Run
Skipping a run when you feel like not running is easy and you’ll probably regret it in the future.
But being willing to skip some miles when you want to run but suspect you should rest is an extremely challenging thing to do.
Recently I had a funny feeling above my ankle. No idea what it was or where it came from. I’ve been putting more time in on the treadmill and it occurred during a long treadmill run, but who knows if it’s related. The important thing is that I ended the run early and reduced the training load the next day compared to what I had planned. The result? nothing. No injury, no more recurrence of the odd feeling. However what if I had pushed through during the initial run and finished the 4 or so remaining miles that I had planned and/or done the mileage the following day? Maybe nothing, maybe I’d have a full-blown injury.
I hope that personal case study shows the importance of what even a couple days at a lighter training load can do for something that caused me enough worry to end a run early. I hope you remember it next time you have a niggle that could develop into a full injury.
What I’m NOT Consistent With
It’s also good to be aware of what you’re missing out on. For how much I suggest general strength & mobility, I will often go half a week and realize that I have not done any!
Another thing I need to work on is taking my iron pill in the AM immediately upon waking so I give it enough time before I drink coffee (which decreases iron absorption).
Questions!
1) Name two things you do consistently well. 2) Name two things you wish you did more consistently. 3) NOW, what are you going to do about it?
submitted by kyle-kranz to running [link] [comments]


2017.08.19 03:04 clearliquidclearjar Tallahassee Events: 8/19 - 8/31.

This is not quite finished. expect an update.
Hey, I’m trying to find a way to get this list out to more people. I mean, I don’t mind making it just for y’all, but the idea is to tell more people about events in Tallahassee. Does anyone have any ideas? Should I set up a mailing list?
Don’t forget to check or add to the other list for things I may have missed. Have fun out there!
Tally’s Independent Cinema and Theater Offerings:
ALSO:
SATURDAY 8/19
  • FAMU Developmental Research School: Southside Neighborhood & Community Engagement Symposium. “STRONG NEIGHBORHOODS BUILD RESILIENT, VIBRANT & SUSTAINABLE COMMUNITIES... Do you LOVE Southside Tallahassee, FL? Are you a resident of a Southside Tallahassee neighborhood and participate in an active neighborhood association? Do you want to get to know other regular, everyday folks who are working together on the neighborhood level to make Southside Tallahassee a caring, vibrant, and culturally robust place to call home? If so, then you are invited to join us for our first ever Southside Neighborhood & Community Engagement Symposium!” 8am
  • Mission San Luis: Free TOUR Day at Mission San Luis. “Be a Tallahassee T.O.U.R. Guide! T.O.U.R. means Tourism is Our Ultimate Resource. If you spread the word about all the things to see and do in Tallahassee, it helps support the local economy. Visit Mission San Luis for free on August 19 to get your tour guide “training"! Enjoy time-traveling to 1703 with the following: Living history (including historic cooking & blacksmithing demos ), Archery, atlatl spear throwing, and historic military drill activities for all ages, and a kids' bead craft activity. El Criollo Grill Foodtruck is scheduled to be on hand!” 10am-4pm
  • Challenger Learning Center: Kids' Free Day. “The third Saturday of every month is Kid's Free Day at the CLC! At 10:30am, please join us for Interactive activities, science demonstrations, and a FREE IMAX OR Planetarium show for kids 12 and under (with a paying adult).These activities may include a Chemistry Magic Show presented by members of Alpha Chi Sigma, FSU's professional chemistry fraternity, a presentation by the FAMU-FSU College of Engineering, and/or presentations by CLC education staff. Visit the Kids' Free Day page for more information on this month’s free screening: http://www.challengertlh.com/kids-free-day/” 10:30am
  • Tallahassee Capoeira: Open House and Family Class. “Come out and see what Capoeira is like! All ages are welcome to participate in this fun and playful way of learning more about this Brazilian martial art. Whether you are a regular student or are just interested in learning more about our program this will be a fun and engaging experience. All children under 6 will need an adult to assist them in participating.” 11am
  • Lake Jackson Branch Library: 5th Anniversary Celebration. “Free cake and activities for all! Come help us celebrate 5 years of fun at our new Lake Jackson Branch location!” 1pm-3pm
  • 7th Hill Taproom (Under Corner Pocket): 7th Hill's 1st Birthday Bash! “We are excited to celebrate our first year by taking over our parking lot and hosting a local craft beer fest and amateur BBQ cookoff competition! Join us on Saturday August 19th from 2pm-10pm for a party with our friends from Tallahassee's local breweries, live music from Old Soul Revival, and delicious food! Did we mention birthday cake?! Tickets will include a commemorative cup, two locally brewed draft beers, BBQ samples, a full plate of BBQ and fixins while they last, and a slice of birthday cake!” 2pm/this is where I’ll be tomorrow, because fuck yeah bbq/$30
  • Cap City Video Lounge: Sweet, Sweet, Summer-A-Thon! “2pm: A Goofy Movie/3:30pm: Meatballs (1979, dir. Ivan Reitman)/5:15pm: Addams Family Values (1993, dir. Barry Sonnenfeld)/7pm: Moonrise Kingdom (2012, dir. Wes Anderson)/8:45pm: Wet Hot American Summer (2001, dir. David Wain)” 2pm
  • The Moon: The Pyramid Players present Game of Fortune. 5pm
  • Krewe de Gras: Purple Willie Jam III. “Third annual evening of great, live, local music benefitting the Tallahassee Walk to End Alzheimer's. Featuring The Fried Turkeys, and Hal Shows and D'amnesiacs.” 6pm/$15
  • Cascades Park: Sundown Summer Series: Roosevelt Collier w/ JB's ZydecoZoo. 7pm-10pm
  • Junction @ Monroe: Ally Venable Band. 8pm
  • Fifth & Thomas: Top Shelf Band. 9:30pm/21+/free
SUNDAY 8/20
  • Carter Howell Strong Park: Food Not Bombs Meal Share. Noon-2pm
  • The Junction @ Monroe: Sunday Afternoon Bingo. “This isn't your grandma's bingo! We have a blast with some very cool folks. Cash prizes.” 5pm
  • Salty Dawg Pub & Deli: The Famous Acoustic Jam w/ Wayne, Glenn, and Bo. Open mic, free beer for performers. 6pm
  • 1529 S Adams: V89 Summer Car Wash. “Come out and support your local station and get your car washed at the same time (woah!). Boombot will be making a celebrity appearance and we will be selling refreshments, what more could you ask for?” 11am-3pm
MONDAY 8/21
  • Under Wraps on the Parkway: Bar Trivia With Hank, all things SIMPSONS AND FUTURAMA. “50 questions of friendly trivia. Plus great Mediterranean food, delicious wraps, and beer by the bottle or bucket that won’t kick you in the wallet. $20 tab for 1st place. Near all the state offices – start your week off right.” 7:30pm/free
  • Junction @ Monroe: Monday Night Bingo. “Good food, good drinks, good friends, and a chance to win some big cashola! It doesn't get any better than [email protected]. Every Monday from 7pm-9pm we've got cash payouts up to $250 per game with multiple games each night PLUS a 50/50 drawing each week benefitting the Tallahassee Area Musicians Guild.” 7pm-9pm
  • Burrito Boarder: Trivia Factory. “General Knowledge, 20 questions + Wager Final. $35/$25/$15, and Best Team Name gets a round of shots.” 7pm
  • Cap City Video Lounge: Monday Mercy. This week: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club. 7:30pm
  • Blue Tavern (N Monroe St): Lost Mondays with Jon Copps. 8pm
  • Waterworks: Patio Theater. 8:35pm/21+
  • Finnegan’s Irish Pub: Karaoke with DJ Paul Cornish and Hospitality Night. “If you're a hospitality worker, don't forget to bring your most recent paystub or work schedule to receive that sweet 25% discount!” 10pm
  • The Warrior: Hip-Hop Open Mic Monday's // Dj T Wixx on site // Bring your Tracks. 10pm
  • Challenger Learning Center: Solar Eclipse Viewing. “In addition to the eclipse viewing, there will be educational activities and a planetarium show about the eclipse playing at 1pm, 2pm, and 3pm. All solar eclipse activities and planetarium shows are provided free of charge by the Challenger Learning Center of Tallahassee and the Tallahassee Astronomical Society.” 1pm-4pm
TUESDAY 8/22
  • Corner of Georgia & Macomb: Frenchtown Farmers’ Market. “Find your favorite local goodies now on Tuesdays! Join us at Frenchtown Farmers Market for all-local produce, eggs, gourmet jelly, and more. The market opens at 3pm and we're here unitl 7pm, so come after you pick the kids up from school or on your way home from work. We can double SNAP benefits through the Fresh Access Bucks program. Our farmers accept WIC and Senior farmers market nutrition program coupons.” 3pm-7pm.
  • Junction @ Monroe: Live Rehearsal Tuesdays. “Tuesdays are Live Rehearsals at [email protected]. Sponsored by the Tallahassee Area Musicians Guild. Utilize our complete backline and PA for rehearsals, jams, or hold auditions. Up to one hour slots (or more depending on number of signups) per artist/group.” 4pm
  • Madison Social: Trivia Social. They do half and half theme and miscellaneous, so check their FB every week for an event page. 7pm
  • Brass Tap in Midtown: Trivia. Check their FB page for the theme. 7pm
  • Cap City Video Lounge: Trash Tuesday Trash Cinema Double Feature. Featuring Deathrace 2000 & Deathrace 2050. Hank’s Dystopian Pick Of The Week 7:30pm
  • Bird’s Oyster Shack: Trivia With John Carpenter. Lively and fun. 7:30pm
  • GrassLands Brewing Company: Trivia Factory. 7:30pm
  • Midtown Pies: Bar Trivia With Hank. 50 questions of sweet, sweet trivia. Food! Beer! Something random in a bag! 8pm/free
  • Blue Tavern: Roda Vibe. “FSU musicians and others join to create a fun musical event that everyone can enjoy. In Portuguese, Roda is pronounced "Hoda." If it doesn't make you want to dance, check your pulse.” 8pm/free
  • Fire Bettys: Now That's What I Call Tuesday! Dance Party. 8pm
  • Fourth Quarter: Trivia With Professor Jim. AUCE wings. Truly a trivia favorite. 8pm
  • Krewe de Gras: Karaoke With Pete. 8:30pm
  • Brass Tap on Gaines: Karaoke with DJRah. 9pm
  • The Warrior: Open Mic "Full Band / Acoustic " Edition. “Free Cover / Free to Play. Each Artist Receives a Free 16 oz Draft.” 9pm
  • 926 Bar & Grill: Trivia Tuesday! 9:30pm
  • Applebee’s on the Parkway: Karaoke with Amanda Goram. 10pm
  • Pockets Pool: Karaoke with Dwight. 10pm/21+
WEDNESDAY 8/23
  • Bird's Oyster Shack: Lab Sessions with Jim Crozier with Kayla Williams with Mickey Abraham and Noah Wise. 6pm
  • Fermentation Lounge: Quizmaster General Knowledge Trivia. “Quizmaster is hosted by Bennett Miller from 7-9pm every Wednesday, and features three rounds of general knowledge trivia (and a weekly food special). It is free to play and teams of up to 6 are welcome. The winner of each round receives a sample flight, and the Quizmaster for the night receives a $25 gift card and serious credit on Geek Street.” 7pm
  • Brass Tap on Gaines: Trivia. Check their FB page for the theme. 7pm
  • Hurricane Grill & Wings: Trivia With Greg. 7pm
  • GrassLands Brewing Company: BYOBG! Bring Your Own Board Game. “Our gracious host, Trevor Bond, will be featuring one game each week. Feel free to bring your own games to play & share.” 7pm/21+
  • Junction @ Monroe: Bike Night, Bingo, and Karaoke. 7pm
  • Cap City Video Lounge: CineMashup: SLC Punk and The Green Room. 7:30pm
  • Proof: Bar Trivia With Hank. Drink delicious brews and show off all those random factoids you thought you’d never use. Local beer, local trivia in the heart of Tally’s Art District. A food truck is always out front for this, too, or you can order and pick up something great at the Crum Box Gastgarden (the caboose in RR Sq). Bar tab for 1st and 2nd place teams. 7:30pm/21+/no cover
  • The Warehouse: Open Mic feat. Mike the Prophet. “There is a lottery for time slots. Now smoke free!” 8pm
  • Finnegan’s Wake: Waxy Wednesdays. “Feelin' waxy, Tallahassee? That's probably just because it's Wednesday. At Finnegan's Wake, Waxy Wednesday means DJ Ryze will be hitting our floor again to spin some vinyl and get your feet moving tonight. Feeling a bit sour, girls? Not to worry- we'll also have some fantastic $5 drink specials going for all those Tallahassee ladies looking for a bit of fun. Come out and help us get the party started!” 8pm
  • The Skybox (Crawfordville): Karaoke with Mark. 9pm
  • 926: Woman Crush Wednesdays. Lesbian night, and I think they have karaoke, too. 9pm/$5/18+
  • Krewe de Gras: DÉJÀ VU Latin Wednesdays. “FREE Salsa/Mambo classes by Barry C. Williams. The duration of the class is 9-10 and having a partner is not necessary. If you've never danced Salsa/Mambo before then don't worry about it. The classes are made to be easy and fun so you can come learn some moves and then stay and dance until 2am to the sounds of DJ Jimmy Suave.” 9pm
  • Just One More: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • Corner Pocket: Karaoke. 9pm
  • Bird’s: Comedy Night. I’m pretty sure this is both a performance and an open mic. 9:30pm/free
  • Sharkey St: Rushmorefl, SFS, Cooper. “This is gonna be one of the first shows at a new house on Sharkey St. Come hang out here at a BRAND NEW HOUSE VENUE before heading over to Franklin Manor to mourn the end of the longest running house.” 6:30pm
  • Junction @ Monroe: Ladies Night - Music by Stewie James. 9pm
THURSDAY 8/24
  • Lake Ella Area: Food Truck Thursday with The Crawlers. 6pm
  • Beef O’Brady’s: AJ Johnson Trivia. 6:30pm
  • Junction @ Monroe: Open Mic Night. “Bring your instruments and play an open slot or just come and be entertained in Tallahassee's best sounding room!” 7pm/free
  • Cap City Video Lounge: MST3K Thursday! 7:30pm
  • Skybox: $10 Cornhole Tourney. 7:30pm
  • The Wilbury: Bar Trivia With Hank. “Fan-fucking-tastic trivia and bbq, and the host is good looking, too.” 8pm
  • Junction @ Monroe: Comedy Zone: Frank Del Pizzo & Mark Evans. 9pm
  • Dux (Crawfordville): Karaoke with Big Bob. $25 bar tab given away every week. 8:30pm-12:30pm
  • Midtown Caboose: Trivia Factory. “General Knowledge, 20 questions + Wager Final. $35/$25/$15, and Best Team Name gets a round of shots.” 8pm
  • Unique Wonders: Live Comedy with Big Hou! 8:30pm/$5
  • Pockets: Karaoke Dance Party with Keith Welch. 9pm/21+
  • Brass Tap Midtown: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm-Midnight
  • Applebees on Cap Cir: Karaoke with Amanda Goram. 10pm
  • Birds: Karaoke with Nathan. All the songs. $1 Pabst drafts. 10pm
  • Main Library: Leon County Library Lecture Series. “Dr. Nelson’s "Importance of Crucial Conversations and Accountability" lecture has been given nationwide and teaches individuals and organizations how meaningful conversations help to increase organizational effectiveness and achieve bottom-line results. Dr. Nelson brings more than thirty years of experience in corporate training and serves as a personal coach to many hospitals, educational institutions, and corporate executives. Dr. Nelson has given lectures to a number of organizations including NASA, Disney, BMW, Florida State University, and the IRS.” 7pm
FRIDAY 8/25
  • 926 Lounge: The Friday Night Party. “Tallahassee's premier LGBTQA dance party night is back again! Pregame with Tom in the pub during happy hour from 4PM-9PM. Join Cerulea for the RuPauls Drag Race watching party at 8. The dance floor kicks into full gear at 10PM so you can rage to your faves as DJ Carben and DJ Brian Gladden keep you dancing all night. The Drag Show starts at midnight when the 926 Ladies join our hostess Sassy Black on the stage to entertain. It's a show you definitely don't want to miss, so arrive early to get a good seat!” 4pm
  • Fifth & Thomas: Backstage Garden Happy Hour. 5pm-8pm
  • Cap City Video Lounge: Fright Flick Friday (Horror Triple Feature): SUMMER CAMP HORRORS featuring Friday the 13th, Sleep Away Camp, The Burning. 7:30pm
  • Hobbit (P’Cola): Trivia Factory. “General Knowledge, 20 questions + Wager Final. $25/$20/$15. 7:30 pm - ADULTS ONLY Trivia Show at 9:45pm.” 7:30pm
  • Hobbit South: Karaoke. 8pm
  • Leggetts: Karaoke with Paul. 8:30pm
  • Just One More: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • Skyzone: GLOW- Featuring DJ LooseKid. “Grab all of your friends and get your jump on with live music featuring Dj Loosekid, glow lights & laser beams! Check in early to take advantage of the full 2 hours of jumping! Each jumper must wear a reflective shirt, or purchase a shirt in the park. Due to the popularity of this event and early sell outs- we highly suggest you reserve your tickets online beforehand. We cannot guarantee tickets for GLOW will be available in the park at the time of the event.” 9pm-11pm/$25/no one under 5yo
  • Stetsons @ The Moon: Karaoke with Devin Cywinski. 10pm/$5/18+
  • Student Life Center: Sweet Success Courtyard Block Party. 2pm-4pm
  • Fifth & Thomas: Jimmy Gillis & Brooke Bruner on the Patio. 5pm
  • Corner Pocket: 6th Annual Jeff Cameron Show Libations Friday Fest. “It's our 6th Annual Libations Friday Fest, our thank you to everyone who listens and supports the Jeff Cameron Show. We get to do what we love at 97.9 ESPN Radio because of you, so let's kick back and have a few beverages and some delicious food together.” 6pm
  • Old Capitol: Movie Night at the Museum. “Throw on your casual Friday T-shirt and join us under the stars to watch the classic film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off in the Capitol Complex Courtyard. Attendees are encouraged to bring lawn chairs or blankets, and picnics are welcome. The event is free and open to the public and complimentary popcorn, soda, and snacks are provided.” 6:30pm
  • Crum Box Gastgarden: Comedians Against Cards Against Humanity (CACAH). “Do you like going out to bars, suck at trivia, but have a twisted sense of humor? Then this is for you!! Come out to The Crum Box Gastgarden on Friday, August 25th at 8:00pm and join us in playing Cards Against Humanity! In a combination of CAH and comedy, comedians will be reading, joking about, and scoring each team's card submission, with prizes for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place! This is an absolute blast and you don't want to miss it!” 8pm/not child friendly
  • The Wilbury: Girls Rock Camp Benefit! Feat. Surrounder, Popular Adults, Night Witch, Pool Kids & Big Pup. 8:30pm/free
  • Club Downunder: Road To III Points. “We invite you to come out and experience a taste of III Points Festival before making your way down to Miami in October! Each attendee will be entered in a raffle to win tickets to III Points Festival! Featuring: Nick Leon, Skeleton Boy, True Vine.Local Support: Blacksunblackmoon.” 8:30pm/$5 GP
  • Junction @ Monroe: Josh Buckley Band with McCall Chapin. 9pm
  • Fifth & Thomas: Neil Alday and Further South, Pat Puckett. 9:30pm/free/21+
  • Fifth & Thomas: DJ Brad Ashwell on the Patio. 10pm/free/21+
SATURDAY 8/26
  • Park at Monroe: The Downtown Marketplace. 9am
  • Corner of Georgia & Macomb: Frenchtown Farmers’ Market. “Find your favorite local goodies! Join us at Frenchtown Farmers Market for all-local produce, eggs, gourmet jelly, and more. We can double SNAP benefits through the Fresh Access Bucks program. Our farmers accept WIC and Senior farmers market nutrition program coupons.” 10am – 2pm.
  • Cap City Video Lounge: Saturday Morning is for Kids. (Childrens Movie Double Feature). 11:30am
  • Salty Dawg: Karaoke with Paul. Family friendly! 8pm
  • Leggetts: Karaoke with Cowboy Chris. 9pm
  • Geo's Pub & Pool: Karaoke with Sam. 9pm-1am
  • The Skybox (Crawfordville): Karaoke with Mark. 9pm
  • El Patron: Pasion Latina. Bachata, Merengue, Salsa, Reggaeton. 9pm
  • 926 Lounge: Sanctuary: Tallahassee’s Longest Running Goth Night. 10pm/$5/18+
  • Lucky’s Market: Back to School Bash & Green Chile Fest. “Green chiles are here, school is back in session and its time to celebrate! Join us for a day of food and fun. We'll have the chili roaster going, the grill fired up with our Chile Bacon Havarti Burgers, corn hole, live music from Just Chameleons and more. Also enter for a chance to win $50 to stock your fridge for back to school.” Noon-4pm
  • Madison Social: 3rd Annual Tallahassee Beer Mile. “On August 26 at 6PM join us for the third-annual Tallahassee Beer Mile. The Tallahassee Beer Mile is a one mile run/walk hosted by the Tallahassee Brew District in which participants are asked to drink one 12 ounce beer at each location. This is a non sanctioned event and for fun...but love folks that race hard. Register at TallahasseeBeerMile.com” 4:30pm/$25
  • Fifth & Thomas: Tyler Denning Pre-show Party. 5:30pm-8pm/free
  • FSU Union Green: Last Call ft. Hundred Waters, Tank and the Bangas, and Hop Along. 7pm/free/no coolers
  • Fifth & Thomas: Eli. 8pm/$10/21+
  • Cap City Video Lounge: Line, Please. - A Live Movie Riffing of "Zombi 3". “Come watch as Reymun Jarbage, Dillon Toups, and John Michael White, three of Tallahassee's best local comics, live riff the movie "Zombi 3", Lucio Fulci's awful 2nd attempt at ripping off George Romero( RIP GEORGE!), at Cap City Video Lounge, Tallahassee's only video rental store and indie movie theater. If you love MST3K then this is a show that you're sure to enjoy. The show is free but donations are welcome. This movie is Rated R so it is not suitable for children. We have BEER! $5 gets you a cup for to partake in the free beer(loopholes). Bring your ID.” 9pm
  • Junction @ Monroe: Reflections Dance Party. “Shake your groove thing to the sounds of the 70s to today with DJ Ced.” 9pm/free
  • The Wilbury: 70's Disco Party. “Please join us at the Wilbury for a back to school 70's disco party with Proof Brewing Company and Ballast Point Brewing Company! We'll have a special selection of beers from both breweries. DJ Ryze will be spinning all vinyl disco hits from 10PM - Close. Costume contest starts at 11 PM. Brewery reps will be on site with prize packages for first and second place best costume. This event is 21+ Hope to see you then!” 10pm/21+
SUNDAY 8/27
  • Carter Howell Strong Park: Food Not Bombs Meal Share. Noon-2pm
  • The Junction @ Monroe: Sunday Afternoon Bingo. “This isn't your grandma's bingo! We have a blast with some very cool folks. Cash prizes.” 5pm
  • Salty Dawg Pub & Deli: The Famous Acoustic Jam w/ Wayne, Glenn, and Bo. Open mic, free beer for performers. 6pm
  • Cap City Video Lounge: Twin Peaks Season Three Episode Fifteen LIVE Streaming Event! 7:30pm/$5
  • Tallahassee Junior Museum: College Student Appreciation Event - Free Admission! “The Tallahassee Museum is hosting a College Student Appreciation event (WITH VALID COLLEGE STUDENT ID) on Sunday, August 27th from 11am to 5pm. FREE general admission to Florida WILDLIFE TRAIL, 1880's FARM, Guest Animal Exhibit, and more! PLUS, GROUP RATES for all Tallahassee Tree-to-Tree Adventures tickets, LIVE MUSIC on the outdoor stage, and SWAG BAGS filled w/ koozies, goodies and coupons to some of the great local restaurants for the first 100 college students. Don't miss it!” 11am-5pm
  • Railroad Square: Welcome Back Students 2017. “Welcome back to school, FAMU, FSU, and TCC students! We want to celebrate YOU with this 6th annual event. There will be vendors, free school supplies whle they last, free food and more. Join the fun and get a great start for a wonderful year!” 2pm-6pm
  • Junction @ Monroe: Zane Turner Memorial Benefit. “Memorial Benefit for Zane Turner. All proceeds will benefit his one year old son Blaze. An auction and raffle will be held. Music by Krooked Kilts, Dylan Allen, Baby Gray, Boo Radley, Drew Tillman, Lisa Barry Trio, Old Soul Revival, Maurice Mangum, Adventures of Annabelle Lynn, & more.” 3pm
  • 926: Afterlife, Vagrants, Black Canoe, Heelturn. 7pm/$10
  • Krewe de Gras: Krewe de Comedy Show. “Krewe de Comedy Show is Tallahassee's newest monthly comedy showcase, bringing together the best local comedians and guests from all over the country right here to Tallahassee's own Krewe de Gras.” 7pm
MONDAY 8/28
  • Under Wraps on the Parkway: Bar Trivia With Hank featuring PIXAR! “50 questions of friendly trivia. Plus great Mediterranean food, delicious wraps, and beer by the bottle or bucket that won’t kick you in the wallet. $20 tab for 1st place. Near all the state offices – start your week off right.” Random fun at 7pm, trivia at 7:30/free
  • Junction @ Monroe: Monday Night Bingo. “Good food, good drinks, good friends, and a chance to win some big cashola! It doesn't get any better than [email protected]. Every Monday from 7pm-9pm we've got cash payouts up to $250 per game with multiple games each night PLUS a 50/50 drawing each week benefitting the Tallahassee Area Musicians Guild.” 7pm-9pm
  • Burrito Boarder: Trivia Factory. “General Knowledge, 20 questions + Wager Final. $35/$25/$15, and Best Team Name gets a round of shots.” 7pm
  • Cap City Video Lounge: Monday Mercy: Revenge of the Nerds, Animal House. 7:30pm
  • Blue Tavern (N Monroe St): Lost Mondays with Jon Copps. 8pm
  • Waterworks: Patio Theater. 8:35pm/21+
  • Finnegan’s Irish Pub: Karaoke with DJ Paul Cornish and Hospitality Night. “If you're a hospitality worker, don't forget to bring your most recent paystub or work schedule to receive that sweet 25% discount!” 10pm
  • The Warrior: Hip-Hop Open Mic Monday's // Dj T Wixx on site // Bring your Tracks. 10pm
TUESDAY 8/29
  • Corner of Georgia & Macomb: Frenchtown Farmers’ Market. “Find your favorite local goodies now on Tuesdays! Join us at Frenchtown Farmers Market for all-local produce, eggs, gourmet jelly, and more. The market opens at 3pm and we're here unitl 7pm, so come after you pick the kids up from school or on your way home from work. We can double SNAP benefits through the Fresh Access Bucks program. Our farmers accept WIC and Senior farmers market nutrition program coupons.” 3pm-7pm.
  • Junction @ Monroe: Live Rehearsal Tuesdays. “Tuesdays are Live Rehearsals at [email protected]. Sponsored by the Tallahassee Area Musicians Guild. Utilize our complete backline and PA for rehearsals, jams, or hold auditions. Up to one hour slots (or more depending on number of signups) per artist/group.” 4pm
  • Madison Social: Trivia Social. They do half and half theme and miscellaneous, so check their FB every week for an event page. 7pm
  • Brass Tap in Midtown: Trivia. Check their FB page for the theme. 7pm
  • Cap City Video Lounge: Trash Tuesday Trash Cinema Double Feature with Toxic Avenger and Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD. 7:30pm
  • Bird’s Oyster Shack: Trivia With John Carpenter. Lively and fun. 7:30pm
  • GrassLands Brewing Company: Trivia Factory. 7:30pm
  • Midtown Pies: Bar Trivia With Hank. Moving into Midtown from the Northside! 50 questions of sweet, sweet trivia. Food! Beer! Something random in a bag! 8pm/free
  • Blue Tavern: Roda Vibe. “FSU musicians and others join to create a fun musical event that everyone can enjoy. In Portuguese, Roda is pronounced "Hoda." If it doesn't make you want to dance, check your pulse.” 8pm/free
  • Fire Bettys: Now That's What I Call Tuesday! Dance Party. 8pm
  • Fourth Quarter: Trivia With Professor Jim. AUCE wings. Truly a trivia favorite. 8pm
  • Krewe de Gras: Karaoke With Pete. 8:30pm
  • Brass Tap on Gaines: Karaoke with DJRah. 9pm
  • The Warrior: Open Mic "Full Band / Acoustic " Edition. “Free Cover / Free to Play. Each Artist Receives a Free 16 oz Draft.” 9pm
  • 926 Bar & Grill: Trivia Tuesday! 9:30pm
  • Applebee’s on the Parkway: Karaoke with Amanda Goram. 10pm
  • Pockets Pool: Karaoke with Dwight. 10pm/21+

WEDNESDAY 8/30
  • Bird's Oyster Shack: Lab Sessions with Jim Crozier with Dadburn Varmints with Ben Banks, Bo Lawrence, and Mike Stone. 6pm
  • Fermentation Lounge: Quizmaster General Knowledge Trivia. “Quizmaster is hosted by Bennett Miller from 7-9pm every Wednesday, and features three rounds of general knowledge trivia (and a weekly food special). It is free to play and teams of up to 6 are welcome. The winner of each round receives a sample flight, and the Quizmaster for the night receives a $25 gift card and serious credit on Geek Street.” 7pm
  • Brass Tap on Gaines: Trivia. Check their FB page for the theme. 7pm
  • Hurricane Grill & Wings: Trivia With Greg. 7pm
  • GrassLands Brewing Company: BYOBG! Bring Your Own Board Game. “Our gracious host, Trevor Bond, will be featuring one game each week. Feel free to bring your own games to play & share.” 7pm/21+
  • Junction @ Monroe: Bike Night, Bingo, and Karaoke. 7pm
  • Cap City Video Lounge: CineMashup with Robocop and Predator 7:30pm
  • Proof: Bar Trivia With Hank. Drink delicious brews and show off all those random factoids you thought you’d never use. Local beer, local trivia in the heart of Tally’s Art District. A food truck is always out front for this, too, or you can bring in something tasty. Bar tab for 1st and 2nd place teams. 7:30pm/21+/no cover
  • The Warehouse: Open Mic feat. Mike the Prophet. “There is a lottery for time slots. Now smoke free!” 8pm
  • Finnegan’s Wake: Waxy Wednesdays. “Feelin' waxy, Tallahassee? That's probably just because it's Wednesday. At Finnegan's Wake, Waxy Wednesday means DJ Ryze will be hitting our floor again to spin some vinyl and get your feet moving tonight. Feeling a bit sour, girls? Not to worry- we'll also have some fantastic $5 drink specials going for all those Tallahassee ladies looking for a bit of fun. Come out and help us get the party started!” 8pm
  • The Skybox (Crawfordville): Karaoke with Mark. 9pm
  • 926: Woman Crush Wednesdays. 9pm/$5/18+
  • Krewe de Gras: DÉJÀ VU Latin Wednesdays. “FREE Salsa/Mambo classes by Barry C. Williams. The duration of the class is 9-10 and having a partner is not necessary. If you've never danced Salsa/Mambo before then don't worry about it. The classes are made to be easy and fun so you can come learn some moves and then stay and dance until 2am to the sounds of DJ Jimmy Suave.” 9pm
  • Just One More: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • Corner Pocket: Karaoke. 9pm
  • Bird’s: Comedy Night. I’m pretty sure this is both a performance and an open mic. 9:30pm/free
  • 201 Diffenbaugh: V89 Fall Cattle Call. “Interested in working at WVFS Tallahassee? Attend our fall Cattle Call and get all the details you need! We are hiring in all departments: Public Relations, Development, Continuity, News, Sports, Production & Announcing! No experience necessary. You don’t have to be a student.” 5pm-6pm/bring a pen
THURSDAY 8/31
  • Lake Ella Area: Food Truck Thursday with Common Taters and the Turn-Ups. 6pm
  • Beef O’Brady’s: AJ Johnson Trivia. 6:30pm
  • Junction @ Monroe: Open Mic Night. “Bring your instruments and play an open slot or just come and be entertained in Tallahassee's best sounding room!” 7pm/free
  • Cap City Video Lounge: MST3K Thursday! 7:30pm
  • Skybox: $10 Cornhole Tourney. 7:30pm
  • The Wilbury: Bar Trivia With Hank. “Fan-fucking-tastic trivia and bbq, and the host is good looking, too. Full bar, fantastic pizza, and fun facts.” 8pm
  • Dux (Crawfordville): Karaoke with Big Bob. $25 bar tab given away every week. 8:30pm-12:30pm
  • Midtown Caboose: Trivia Factory. “General Knowledge, 20 questions + Wager Final. $35/$25/$15, and Best Team Name gets a round of shots.” 8pm
  • Unique Wonders: Live Comedy with Big Hou! 8:30pm/$5
  • Pockets: Karaoke Dance Party with Keith Welch. 9pm/21+
  • Brass Tap Midtown: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm-Midnight
  • Applebees on Cap Cir: Karaoke with Amanda Goram. 10pm
  • Birds: Karaoke with Nathan. All the songs. $1 Pabst drafts. 10pm
  • Oglesby Union: Part-Time Job Fair. 10am-2pm
  • Junction @ Monroe: Comedy Zone: Grandma Lee & Bob Lauver. 8pm
Keep checking back, sometimes I update. Got anything to add?
submitted by clearliquidclearjar to Tallahassee [link] [comments]


2017.06.21 15:16 hubdaba Est-MON Haardi Boys Player Review

Hi everyone,
Your favorite drama whore here, reviewing players for your viewing pleasure. First of all, I want to say "fuck you kristian"; you know who you are. Secondly, I want to say "fuck you haters"; you know who you are as well. Now let's go to the actual review.
Overall, I believe I was cucked super hard on the drafting position, because my mmr was very low and I was sorted to the last position in my range, which was also the largest range group during the draft. So, working on a handicap, I felt that I drafted the best available player when it came to my position, relative to the slots I needed to fill on team; luckily enough, I was able to put together a competent team in the end.
[M]aster [M]y [R]age
Worked out very well for a first pick offlaner. I had some information on him from my friend sasquatch, so I knew that MMR would play, show up, and speak during games. He played very well just about every game, and had some very flashy plays through the season (pogchamp! , woaw!). This worked out great, but then everything change when the fire nation attacked, and by fire nation, I mean PLAYERUNKNOWN'S BATTLEGROUNDS. My first pick offlaner got DEVOURED by this new awesome game (apparently, I haven't tried it). He stopped playing dota at all unless we had an official game. He was already very hard to reach because he turns off all discord notifications and required me to text message him on his phone to reach, which he was still not very responsive of. Coupled with his new favorite pastime, it became impossible. MMR became a bit rusty at some heroes, probably, and I had to resort to only picking him his two most comfortable offlaners towards the end of the season. Lala picked up on this and just banned both of them (smh). I would draft him again though, because he has actually started playing a bit more dota this week and climbed quite a bit of mmr (I believe hes 5.4k now). Top 20 anime downfalls.
MegaWeeb 若い男の子低スキル
This was my second pick for the season. This guy was much value, but had a smaller hero pool than I am used to for my mid player. I actually met him thanks to echo league, where he would beg me for scrims on the daily. Then I played him and I realized he and his band of young weebs were actually pretty good at this dota game, so I really wanted to draft his friend lance. However, lance didn't make it to the draft sheet, so I was stuck with 若い男の子低スキル instead (I also had the chance to pick their brit bro, but I heard he needs sleep during est-mon games; poonani took him right after though). 若い男の子低スキル held his own against all the higher skill mid players, except lala time; he got owned by lala time every time, except for the last time, where lala puck lost to 若い男の子低スキル sf (solo killed and everything); a true anime ending... just like in 鋼の錬金術師, when エドワード gave お父様 a good thrashing after all the defeats. That's where it counts honestly. However, given that 若い男の子低スキル is only like 10 years old, he will be a monster at this game in a few years once his fingers grow long enough to reach all the keys! During the season, he defeated other scary final boss monsters such as Kc and バイキング. He also had a great attitude throughout, despite the fact that I gave him 0 help from the support position (unlike some other young lads from Canada, you know who you are). I'm sure he will be better by the start of next season. Top 10 anime proteges. Don't forget to ask for his myanimelist!!!! kawaii!!!
finite
I've written one for this guy before, I will just reproduce it below, for your reference, and comment on it:
this one is really tough to write. I like this guy a lot as a person (he grew up around the campus where I went to college and frequented the local favorite fried chicken shack), but my dota experience with him has been... trying to say the least. I am OK with people who tend to become out of position on my team in general, because I can watch the map for them and tell them where to go; finite is definitely one of these people who tend to be out of position. The problem with this finite player is that HE DOESN'T FUCKING LISTEN. I can recall so many exchanges where I would say "hey finite, back off, they are heading towards you with blink stun" and he would proceed to go towards the enemy to an eventual death. Those people who have played pubs with us can attest to how many times per game I yell at him for his FUCKING MISTAKES. At this point, I have given up on this guy and I only yell at him when I am trying to be funny. The mistakes and feeds hurt especially because he would be playing carry for us most of the time. His untimely deaths lost us quite a few games. If you are trying to win as a captain in Est-Mon, I would avoid drafting him given the reasons above.
Let's see, so you probably all know finite is like basically 5000mmr now. He has improved quite a bit over the season. At the end of this season, finite and I decided to part ways forever. This was triggered by his stupid requests for heroes and my unwavering refusals. We also had breakfast together after he visited my hotel room during the season, so that was nice. Top 100 anime break ups.
phosphorylation
Our resident spirit breaker only player. We would first pick him spirit breaker every single game when it isn't banned. He has to unfortunately leave during the middle of the season to go to Asia, and we stopped picking spirit breaker completely in order to honor his departure. It is kind of like when pidgeot left ash after season 1 of pokemon. Top 10 anime leaving. This guy was trained by our resident froggo from last season, so I picked him for 4th to help me support. He was very good about calling out his targets and actually has a much larger hero pool, but we just liked him playing spirit breaker. Very valuable pick at 4th pick, too bad he left though!
forn
My replacement for phosphorylation from the draft sheet. This guy is actually an associate of 若い男の子低スキル! 若い男の子低スキル was so happy when we were able to reunite them on the Haardi Boys team. I was lucky that he was stuck on the draft sheet because he signed up late so that he can become a free agent replacement. He has a very large hero pool and calls out his plays as well. I noticed that he is out of position sometimes though, but that might just be because he is 3k mmr you know ;). I am so glad that he joined us though, because he also plays the initiation 4 position heroes so that I can just keep spamming my defensive 5 position supports. Then I let him get all the wards anyway so that I can keep feeding the enemies in peace. I would totally draft him again, if he were on the sheet at all! Top 30 anime reunions.
pok
He was our resident benchwarmer number one. He scrimmed with us alot in the beginning of the season, and I noticed that he went the classic OP witch doctor starting build (facepalm!) yes, the 5 position support required a shared tango from the 4 position support this game. However, he improved a lot after we had some scrims and coaching sessions on twitch (thanks everyone for tuning in!). Then he proceeded to destroy fuckboi dark in our official games with his warlock play. Top 10,000 anime training montage (we have to admit there are a lot of them).
patch
Our in house aspiring dota casteanalyst! Patch is a great sport, but he went into our official game against Pablul with 10k ping while he was uploading a youtube video (the series where he flames other rd2l teams); too bad! Patch also sat in for us in our scrims in the beginning of the season, and he played a very good io. Plus he had a great attitude, which was why I presume beastwood really wanted to draft him. I think he can improve a lot if he watches his positioning and surrounding more. I hope he does well in the future! Top 500 anime filler!
Please leave your comments and favorite animes in the comments below! I would love to hear from the fellow Haardi Boy detectives.
submitted by hubdaba to redditdota2league [link] [comments]


2017.03.19 19:27 sts_ssp All the normal Gold medals - a small outlook from a player in Japan

Imgur
Sorry in advance if it's more a blog-like post than a real research post, but since I completed all the non-secret Gold medals and reached level 38 (Valor) the same week, I felt like doing a small statdump and review (I know a lot of player have already completed their medals). No Unown medal yet. Getting it and reaching level 40 is the next milestone for me.

Context

Biome

The Tokyo area is heavily street-grass-water biome, with mountain/desert types being rare. Actually, 72% of Japan is mountainous and get mountain spawns, but the Tokyo area is a huge plain. Pocket mountain biome can be found in Tokyo though. The south side of Shibuya station has the mt Moon biome on a small area. The area around Shinagawa station is also Mt. Moon biome and gets an everyday Dragonite. And many parts of the Tokyo Bay, including Odaiba and DisneySea are mountain biome too (among other things).
There's a lot of very small streams everywhere in Japan, and canals that are leftover in now residential areas that used to be rice fields in the past (requiring a lot of irrigation). So, water spawns are commonplace.
The spawn density in a city like Tokyo means you can walk around and never run out of things to catch (or pokestops to spin), no lure needed. In addition to the already high number of pokestops, many pokestops and gyms were added through the multiple sponsorhips (Mc Donald, NTT Docomo, Aeon, Itoen, Tully's Coffee and probably other ones I forget).
From what I've read, rural players in Japan are no different than other rural players around the world. The get a whole ocean of nothing. No spawns, no sponsored pokestops, level 10 gyms filled by non local players.

Nests

There is something like 30-40 "usable" nests in Tokyo itself and its direct vicinity (excluding parks with an entrance fee). If you count the nests that aren't really worth going to (less than 10 nest species per hour), you get more than a hundred nests.

Weather

In summer it can reach 37-39°C (98-102°F) with 95% humidity. Phones were getting really hot when playing PoGo. In winter the temperature is usually around 10°C (50°F), not really cold. That's for Tokyo though, northen parts of Japan like Hokkaido average on -5°C(23°F) in winter. September is the typhoon season. Actually, the start of a typhoon was the first time I managed to colelct on 10 gyms (nobody else gymming in the streets).
The day comes early in Japan, but so does the night. In summer, the sun is well up in the sky at 5:00AM and it's dark at 6:30PM. In winter, it's respectively around 7:00AM and 4:30PM.

Player base

There is less players now than in summer, but Tokyo and its surroudings make ~35 million of people, so there is still many players out there.
The engaged playerbase seems quite "old", mainly above their thirties. I see salarymen playing, or even old ladies catching things while walking their dogs. Housewives on their bikes too. There were some kids playing in summer, but they seem to have disappeared. Teenagers never played it much either. During special events, I often see parents with 3-6yo kids playing, or couples in their twenties trying to catch the event pokemon and getting all excited to see that cute pikachu with a hat. But they don't touch gyms. Gyms are mostly touched by 30yo-60yo men from what I saw.
It's hard to tell the average player level in Tokyo since the high gym turnaround doesn't let high level players stay in gyms. Level 35-37 trainers seem plentiful though when I check gyms, and there is sometimes level 40 players too. In my town, I'm the highest level player (38).
Walking while looking at your smartphone is something very common in Japan, and not restricted to PoGo., in spite of lal the warnings about that. We also heard a lot about the PoGo related accident in Japan, but this kind of lethal traffic accident happen quite often actually. If it's not Pogo, it is the driver checking SNS, watching video or reading manga.

Social groups

Not much social groups actually. Reddit is mostly unknown to japanese people. PoGo facebook groups per town aren't a thing. Discord is unknown. 2ch is anonymous and mostly trolling. There is a strong ""inside the group"" vs ""outsiders"" aspect in many things in Japan, be it at school or work. It feels abit the same in PoGo, no open groups welcoming everybody. There is some PoGo news sites, but it's mostly anonymous commenting. Most gym players seem to play solo.

Gyms

Mystic is often the dominant team, Valor second and Instinct last. Gyms in Tokyo are impossible to hold, too many players. Everybody is a nobody. On Tokyo's outskirts, there is more level 10 gyms, known names in towns and rivalries. Since tracker use is common and Snorlax/Dratini aren't that rare in the first place, gyms are filled with Vaporeon/Gyarados/Snorlax (a lot)/Dragonite (a lot). Even low level ""casuals"" usually have their Snorlaxes and Dragonites. Rhydon is a bit less frequent. Not much Tyranitars yet, and Larvitar is very rare. A lot of Blissey because hardcore players grinded as much as they could during Valentine, even if we didn't get the amounts that were available in mountain biomes.
A lot of players walk or bike (an ultra common mean of transportation here). Bike works well because everybody owns one anyway, and you can ride indistinctly on the road or on the walkways with it. Since winter hit, there has been a rise of car players though. Car players are usually 4ssholes roadwise, they just park in front of the gym, on the side of the already narrow roads, rather than parking at a better location and getting there on foot. I have also seen them stopping in the middle of a busy street just to catch something that had spawned.
Playing at night in Japan is quite safe, never got any trouble. Of course, crimes happen in Japan like everywhere else, but the crime rate is usually low. You can often let/forget your belongings in a place and still find them there when coming back. In my home country, letting your bag with your wallet/smartphone on your seat while you go to the restroom would be an incredibly stupid thing to do.

Cheating

Maybe I'm a bit naive, but I had the feeling there wasn't too much spoofing until december (when it started to get colder). These days I think there is a good share of spoofers in my town, but they don't seem to be botters. The lack of botters is probably because most of the documentation and community seems based around the english language, and japanese aren't very good at that. GPS spoofing probably requires a simple app installation.
Multi accounting is rampant though. Either for shaving, adding 3 pokemon at once, putting an easy prestiger, or gimping rival gyms. A mystic guy I met at a gym also taught me recently that buying services to fill your inventory with elite pokemon is also a thing (we were talking about an another Mystic player who already had high IV and fully powered Ampharos, three 3500 Tyranitar 5 days after release). Yahoo Auction is the most popular auction site in Japan, and from what he told me, you share your credentials with someone selling such service and he fills your account with powerful pokemon. Probably by sniping or botting. I saw many people wih 5-6 smartphones at the Lapras event, I guess it wasn't only their own alt-accounts, they were probably filling inventories on demand.
Some players can get ultra obsessive. I have a nemesis couple (Mystic) who are not only waiting for me/stalking me on 2 specific gyms, but who are also using a whole collection of alt accounts to add Flareon prestigers (Mystic account), block a gym with more Blissey (Instinct alt) or Valor alt to fill empty spots in Valor gyms with pidgeys, negating all prestiging work you could do for your team and blocking Valor players from taking the empty spots in new gyms. I highly suspect them of being the ones who have vandalized 2 of my bikes too, but that's an another story.

Tracking

It's the absolute norm. The kids playing in summer ? Tracker ? The girl in her twenties who looks like she's on her way to a fashion magazine photoshoot ? Tracker. The hardcore guys grinding in nests for hours ? Tracker. The 2 old ladies walking their dogs ? Tracker. The car players looping around the town in the night ? Tracker. The japanese youtubers or level 40 guys tweeting about PoGo ? Tracker.
There has been an single online tracker since forever in Japan, and it's not frowned upon. The Silph Road equivalent japanese websites consider it standard. It's actually the normal way to play for most players, and I think many never even considered it could be a TOS violation (or don't care anyway). TV shows showing PoGo stuff also openly featured trackers, it's just a normal thing. That tracker has been down for a few week in october, and a lot of players simply didn't want to play anymore without it. From what I've discussed, japanese players don't really know hom to hunt and track down a pokemon ""manually"", or at least don't want to go through that hassle. We still don't have the new pokestop-base sightings & nearby deployed in Japan. We still use the old sightings tab. Not sure why Niantic holds back on that, might be related to the tracker existence. Or maybe it's because there's too many pokestops.
There's a catch though. It isn't actually a complete tracker showing absolutely everything, it shows the grouped results of manual searches launched by the players, with a small cooldown on repeated searches. On a city like Tokyo, pretty much everything is covered since there's always players launching the search everywhere, and they don't care about sharing with rivals since pretty much everybody is anonymous in the gym scene.
Outside of Tokyo, less activity means less results. And there's the local gym rivalries to take in account and can be an incentive to not use such tracker. During Valentine I got 10 Chansey in one night biking through all the town (not Tokyo), while the tracker only showed one. Randomly encountered my 96% Chansey that way, and even though it might not be fair play, I definitely didn't want to share the loot with rivals, so no search spamming on that tracker.

Some places of interest for PoGo players in Tokyo

Shinjuku

World's busiest train station with 3.64 million commuters on average weekday. No spawn point on the huge station (36 platforms, 200 exits !) itself. Probably removed on demand. But there's a lot of spawn points outside of the station. The area is mostly commerces, restaurants, offices, entertainment. It's a good place for urban pokemon like Porygon. You'll mostly be catching things while walking in these busy streets, so try to not bump into other people.

Yoyogi

A very large nest in west Tokyo, between Shinjuku and Shibuya. Directly out of the Harajuku station. You can usually catch 35 nest pokemon/hour (and not be able to go after every single one). Somehow, I always have a Snorlax spawning when I happen to go there. Often get a Farfetch'd too. Helped me a ton for Charmander and Growlithe candies since fire pokemons are a bit rare around here. A pond in the center will spawn a few Dratini during a farming session. A good number of pokestops too.
You can follow a looping footpath through the park. You can also cut anywhere in the park, but there isn't much footpaths to help to do so. Night falls early in Japan, so in december taking shortcuts (not lit areas) meant tripping every 4 meters on some tree root while farming Charmanders. By the way, the loud message repeating that skateboard/rollers are forbidden in the park and dangerous gets a bit annoying. You can't do it either in the street in Japan, but the cops will only tell you to not do it and you'll be fine if you stop. You usually only get warnings for minor offenses. In my home country, cops would usually fine you ~$50-$90 no matter what.

Shibuya

World's busiest crossing is there, with an estimated 2500 people crossing the street every time the green light switches on. It's also world's 4th busiest train station with 2.4 million passengers going through on weekdays. It's also well known because of the story of Hachjiko, the dog who waited 9 years in front of the station for his dead master to return. Mostly shops and fashionable things.
Thanks to Mc Donald and NTT Docomo's sponsorship, the Bic Camera building got many stops at the same place, and it's possible to reach 7 lures at once if you're at the right spot. It's a very popular lure spot, although it has fallen a bit out of grace since december because of the birth of a 9-lure spot in an another part of Tokyo. Still, it's in an interesting mix of biome, and the lures placed at Shibuya draw from the street, grass, water biome and from the rare mountain biome. If you're lucky, you can get both Dratini and Larvitar from these lures.
People often stand in front of the building or near the shop's entrance. The store employees never tell people to leave, although the swarm of players is obstructing the way. If the weather is too hot or too cold, you might rather enjoy the AC at Mc Donald. It's not unusual for players to just buy the cheapest things on the menu (usually a coffee) and then sit for hours inside. Even in busy hours, you never get kicked out of Mc Donald. Mc Donald is also quite popular with high school student, who buy french fries + drink and stay studying in group for hours, or passing business men who work on their laptops. Well, in the case of PoGo players you can argue that McDo wanted you in their shop with their sponsorship, so they got you sitting there. McDo Japan had actually been on falling profits in recent years because of a few food scandals, but their results have gotten better since last summer.

Meguro river

It's a good location to farm Dratini around Tokyo. The alleys along the river are very quiet in spit of being in the city, and there is some nice cherry blossoms in spring. Not that many people there, you get the occasional PoGo players, old ladies with their dogs, and people running. Sometimes there is some high school girls running too, not sure if it's part of their physical training or if it's because their coach told them to be uber polite to everybody, but they run and stop to bow and say "hello" everytime they come across somebody. I can't help but feel embarrassed to indirectly force them to stop by being there playing PoGo.
Pokemon clusters spawn all the way and there is always pokestops to spin. There is also a few small parks with nests on the side. Often encounter 5-6 Dratini per hour while grinding there. Even managed to encounter 6 Dratini in 5 minutes on a 25 meters section, one RNG lucky day. Actually, the abovementioned Shinjuku-Yoyogi-Shibuya and Meguro river are adjacent from north to south. So, someone up for a 3 hours walk can have a nice grind session through heavy street biome -> heavy grass biome + current massive nest -> mountain biome -> heavy water biome.

Ueno

A very large park in Tokyo. It was founded during the Meiji era (19th century), when Japan was opening to the western world. The northern part of the park has many trees and footpaths and is a large pokemon nest.
The southern part of the park (a road splits it in two) was extremely popular back in summer among Pogo players. It contains ponds with a temple in the center. The massive amount of spawn points meant a lot of Dratini. Hundreds of players were swarming the park in spite of the summer's 37 degrees Celsius and the humidity. The pokestops around the temple were constantly lured, spawning even more Dratini. But the issue was that PoGo players were completely blocking the access to the temple and to the food stalls nearby. Tourists could barely go through, no way to take good pictures, and hard access to food stalls.
In late september, it became forbidden to play in the temple area. Some players were still ignoring the messages though, or were just going through to trigger at lest the encounters. The pokestops have been removed since then. There is still Dratini, but it's not as interesting as it was back in summer, and this part of the park is now part of the nest rotations (the northen part was the only affected in summer), which means Dratini spawn points get ""cannibalized"" by nest species. I only farmed 3 times there in summer, but in the end the Meguro river gave me as much if not more Dratini per hour and was my daily grind anyway.

Kinshicho

Wasn't anything out of the norm until around november, but the new sponsorships added even more stops than before and it's now a 9-permalure spot (the multiple floors station and its shops helped). But it mainly draw from street/grass biome, so you might prefer the 7 lures at Shibuya for mountain biome.

Hibiya park

A good-sized nest, with a small pond that will spawn a few Dratini. Expect to catch around 20 nest species/hour. There is a lot of footpaths in every directions, making it easy to go around. Pokestops all over, you always have one to spin while walking. There's also a 4-5 close pokestops spot that is often lured. The Tokyo Christmas market is held there, so in december you had the bright Christmas market in the center, and PoGo players lurking in the dark around it to farm Jynx, who was the only practical way to get the ice medal in gen 1. Ice types are still very rare in tokyo in gen2, we don't really see wild Sneasel or Swinhub outside of nests.

Imperial Palace East Garden

A nest with a good spawn rate. Can get around 30 nest species/hour. Free entrance, but there is opening and closing hours. In this season, the place closes at 4:30pm and the last admission is at 3:45pm, so it's difficult to use if you work in weekdays. You're basically walking in a loop, with no shortcut possibilities. It's not that wide, so you're not going to miss any spawn.

Odaiba

An artificial island in the Tokyo Bay. Has a lot of shops, restaurants, entertainment utilities and exhibitions. There's also the Toyota City Showcase, where you can try cars, simulators and get a display of Toyota's technologies. People who are into manga probably know the Comicket, which is held at Odaiba's Big Sight. It's also home to the real size Gundam statue. It has been removed 2 weeks ago though, and will be replaced by an another Gundam model. Mostly a place for tourists though, Tokyo people are more likely to gather in other places during their spare time since Odaiba is a bit off the way.
Tokyo's area pokemon mecca. Most of the island get the rare mountain/desert biome but also the ocean biome, the electric biome. So a lot of Fighting types, Fire types, Seel, Shellder, Magnemite, Voltorb... Pokemon that are rarely seen in other parts of the Tokyo region, except in nests. And also a fair number of Dratini (not very rare in Tokyo though) and Pikachu/Porygon. Of course Larvitar, Tyranitar, Chansey, Miltank, Mareep, Lapras also spawn there. Unown has spawned multiple times too. Somehow, Swinhub and Drowzee spawn quite a lot there too, although there mostly no shows in other parts of Tokyo.
Lapras is a no-show in the Tokyo region outside of the Tokyo Bay, so Odaiba was THE place to go to get one. Took part in a ""Lapras dash"" in summer. Some guys ran across the beach screaming ""DETAAAAA"" (""appeared""), and all the players waiting Lapras on the beachside immediatly knew what they were talking about and started to run. Hundred of people running 1.5km to catch Lapras. Office ladies, salarymen, young girls, typical hardcore players. He was at a busy crossing and it ended with around a thousand people massed here to catch him. Some guy was on his knees screaming he was happy to be alive. An another guy was going berserk at his phone saying ""why error ? WHY ERROR ???"". Nowadays there isn't much people waiting for Lapras. Most players probably got one now (and there was the Lapras event), and he isn't much relevant anymore in the gym meta.
Note that most of the Tokyo bay gets the mountain biome for some reason, in spite of an almost sea level elevation. Odaiba is only 3.5m above the sea if I trust what was written on some toilets. Tokyo DisneySea is also the same biome mix as Odaiba, but buying tickets just to farm pokemon there would be quite expensive.
Odaiba is quite large, so the best way to go around is to use the rental bike service. It's quite cheap and you can return the bike at a lot of stations. It's electric bikes, a breeze to use. The place can also be rage inducing because some spawns appear right into the sea, impossible to reach. I once tried to get my first Larvitar there. One eventually spawned in the sea, near an elevated ridge. Many players (including myself) disregarded the security barrier and went as close to the border as possible, in spite of a slippery slope. No luck. But 10cm more and it was a straight 10 meters fall into the sea.

Akihabara

Known as a mecca for videogame, manga, animation and hobby stuff. But it's not much in PoGo in spite of what one might expect. Nothing really special, there's a lot of better places to play PoGo in Tokyo.

Comments about the medals :

Jogger: 2,551.6 km Imgur
Well, probably more than that in reality. Unfortunately, 1000km were spent with a Lapras buddy. But I then got almost the same amount of candies by going a few hours at the Lapras event, so I should have walked something else. Still, he was very useful in gyms all the time, so maybe it wasn't completely wasted. And now that Lapras got nerfed, these spare candies won't even be used for the once planned Lapras #2.
Kanto: 143 Imgur
No regionals except Farfetch'd. Last entry was Aerodactyl. Saw him once in my nearby while in the train and didn't got off at the station since I thought searching him would be too much of a hassle in an overcrowded area like Shibuya. I was sure I would had other chances but it never happened. Got him 2 months later in an egg, when I was already level 36.
Collector: 42,731 Imgur
These days I often grind 300-400 pokemon/day. My level isn't that high (38) considering some level 40 players caught less pokemon than that before reaching said level. But I don't buy lucky eggs and get incubators with gym coins, so my XP progress is a bit slow as a mostly F2P player.
Scientist: 2,350 Imgur
Pidgeotto, Raticate, Kakuna, Golduck, Metapod, Pidgeot and Slowbro make 72% of that.
Breeder: 807 Imgur
I usually only use the infinite incubator, and use gym coin bought incubators when I fill my inventory with 10km eggs. Which happened very rarely until gen 2. So, my count is very low. I often see people on this sub who are at a lower level and yet have hatched 1500 or even 3000 eggs, I guess they always run 9 incubators ?
Backpacker: 39,656 Imgur
Stops are everywhere in Tokyo. It often looks like that: [img]
Fisherman: 902 Imgur
Got the initial 200 Gold back in September. But at the time I wouldn't have imagined reaching a number like 902.
Battle Girl: 10,345 Imgur
Valor in a town where Mystic is the dominant team. I need to tear down everyday a few level 5-7 gyms rebuilt daily by Mystic if I want my coins.
Ace Trainer: 2,598 Imgur
Not much prestige to do. Gyms are often not Valor when I'm in my gym run. And when I conquer a gym, I rarely prestige it anymore since the empty spots will get filled by Pidgeys, ruining the prestige work. Yup, Mystic guys using alt accounts to fill empty spots in Valor gyms with useless stuff.
Youngster: 458 Imgur
Got it in december. Expected to get all the Gen 1 gold medals at that time, but a few poor nest migrations made it hard to complete the Ice and Fighting medals.
Pikachu Fan: 341 Imgur
Half done in nests, half done with the Santachu event.
Johto: 80 Imgur
Was far quicker than expected.
Schoolkid: 14,296 Imgur
Pidgey, Rattata, Pidgey, Eevee, Rattata, Pidgey, Rattata, Spearow, Pidgey, Rattata...
Black Belt: 232 Imgur
The final medal. Fighting types are quite rare in Tokyo. Completed it thanks to a Machop nest.
Bird Keeper: 8,026 Imgur
Pidgey/Spearow.
Punk Girl: 6,521 Imgur
Probably from the Grass/Poison types (a lot of them in Tokyo) and Nidorans
Ruin Maniac: 725 Imgur
It's currently at a high number, but it was amongst the latter half of completed medals. Ground type pokemon weren't so frequent in Tokyo, but the Halloween event and its Cubone spawns made it easier to complete the initial Gold Medal.
Hiker: 436 Imgur
Like Ground types, pure Rock types aren't that common in Tokyo. 2/3 of the initial 200 Gold Medal was done on Kabuto and Omanyte. Since there is a heavy water biome here, it was an easier way to do it (barring nests).
Bug Catcher: 4,217 Imgur
Many bug types in our grass biome. Paras, Venonat, Caterpie, Weedle... and now Spinarak and Ledyba.
Hex Maniac: 631 Imgur
Mostly due to the Halloween event.
Depot Agent: 274 Imgur
Not many Magnemites around in Tokyo, except in specific places in the Tokyo Bay, where they're as common as Pidgey. Basically went there and farmed until reaching 200.
Kindler: 626 Imgur
Fire types are a bit rare in Tokyo (like Fighting, Ground, and Rock, ). Most of the medal was done on nests (Magmar, Charmander, Growlithe) and event (Charmander).
Swimmer: 18,425 Imgur
Well, heavy water biome. So many Magikarp, Psyduck, Slowpoke...
Gardener: 3,080 Imgur
Bulbasaur, Chikorita, Oddish, Bellsprout, Exeggcute, Paras, Tangela are all over the place.
Rocker: 883 Imgur
Usually not much electric pokemon around here. A large part of the medal was done in Pikachu (nests, events) and Magnemite (in their pocket biome). But it's increasing since gen 2 because of Chinchou, who is only uncommon. Mareep is ultra rare though.
Psychic: 3,786 Imgur
Slowpoke and Exeggcute.
Skier: 207 Imgur
Ice pokemon are ultra-rare here. It was that way in gen 1, and gen 2 didn't change things. No Swinhub plague in Tokyo. I've caught 2 Swinhub since gen 2 release (and around 8k mons in the meantime). I've caught only 1 ""real wild"" Jynx in 40k pokemon, and that was in the abovementioned Odaiba, which has a very special set of overlapping biome. 43 points of the medal were done on Lapras thanks to the event, ~10 on Dewgong/Closyter, and ~150 by farming a Jynx nest multiple times. Said nest rotated during december before I had finished the medal. Luckily, 3 migrations later it came back at the same park.
Dragon Tamer: 1,050 Imgur
Never caught a wild Dragonite, but caught a lot of Dratini and Dragonair. I have a small river 150m behind my home, and it goes through an all-girl high school. The river spawn points seems to have been removed from the high school itself, but they are massed at the front and back entrances. When a Dratini appears on the sightings (a few times a day), I only need to hop on my bike and quickly check both entrances while trying to not look too suspicious.
My office is also ~10 meters away from a much larger river in Tokyo. There is a ton of spawn points, so Dratini aren't that rare there. Sometimes I can run into 7 Dratini during a 1 hour walk, without really looking for them. With Pinap berries, I usually get ~75 Dratini candies per day now. Had a good number of Dratini, Vaporeon and Gyarados spawning right at my desk too.
Taking a Dratini buddy is an absolute no in my case, but Larvitar got buddied right away and is already at 400km done in 2 weeks. They're very rare here.
Delinquent: 330 Imgur
Murkrows everywhere. Houndours are around too, but not nearly as frequent as the birds. The only non-nest Sneasel I saw was from a lure.
Fairy Tale Girl: 487 Imgur
Not many fairies. Actually got ~50 done during 1 day at the Lapras event since the event place happened to be a mountain biome (a Dragonite also spawned that day). Most of the Fairy medal was done while grinding lures at Shibuya, which happens to have a pocket mountain biome. But it's now rising quickly because of Marril.

Spawns

edit: the post is far too long for reddit's limit, will split a part in a topic reply
Valentine event
Tokyo was mostly plagued with Lickitung and the already common Slowpoke and Exeggcute. Lot of Porygon in the central parts too. Not so much Chansey unless you went to the small mountain biome areas. Barely saw any Clefairy.
Farfetch'd
I randomly come across 2 Farfetch'd a week, they're definitely uncommon. There doesn't seem to be a set biome for them, they were in streets or parks, where you would expect Pidgey/Rattata. No sure way to find them, but the best way to do it is probably to stay at the 9-lure in Kinshicho or at the 7-lure in Shibuya and stay a few hours, hoping that the number of spawns will eventually help to roll it. Often got 1 during lure farming sessions.
Drowzee, Swinhub, Tangela
These 3 pokemon are apparently latitude-based (but not latitude-locked like Corsola). We never got any Drowzee plague in Tokyo, apart from Halloween spawns, and Swinhub is a rarity unless you go to a nest or to Odaiba (which has everything anyway). On the other hand, Tangela is only uncommon-rare, you randomly run into a few every week. From what I've read from people living in Drowzee-Swinhub zones, Tangela seems ultra rare for them.
Dratini, Dragonair
As mentioned before, streams of all size everywhere, so Dratini isn't really rare. Everybody has Dragonites. There is specific places to optimize Dratini farming such as Shinobazu Pond in Ueno or Meguro river, but you can otherwise catch some of them anywhere.
Dragonite
Fully evolved Dragonite is quite rare due to the lack of mountain biome in the Tokyo area. Spawns in the pocket mountain biome, like Shibuya (unfrequently) or almost everyday at Shinagawa station. Somehow, not that much in Odaiba, which makes me think that Shibuya-Shinagawa mountain biome (with Dragonites and Clefairies) and Tokyo Bay mountain biome (with common mountain spawns but not so much Clefairies/Dragonites) are actually different things in spite of sharing most of their pokemon pool.
Snorlax
Snorlax isn't so rare in the region. Can often be found around train stations thanks to the amount of street biome spawn points. Often in Yoyogi park too. Even had 5 spawn directly on my home. Got my first Snorlax by following into a back alley 2 guys who seemed ultra excited. Turned out they were indeed looking for a Snorlax.
Lapras
For the Tokyo area, Lapras seems to only spawn in the Tokyo Bay and nowhere else. Waiting at Odaiba is the best bet.
Miltank, Mareep, Aerodactyl, Chansey, Larvitar family
Very rare. Mostly spawn in the pocket mountain biome like Shibuya, Shinagwa, Tokyo Bay (Odaiba, DisenySea...). Aerodactyl seems more frequent around Shibuya and Shinagawa than it is in Odaiba. And the Larvitar family shows up much more in Shinagawa and the Tokyo Bay than it does in Shibuya. Same for Mareep.
Unown
Has spawned multiple times already at Odaiba and in DisneySea. Also spawned at least once in Shinjuku. Its own tier of rare. Since there is an Unown-dedicated twitter feed in Japan, some japanese player with too much free time on his hand will probably complete the gold medal in a few weeks.
My maxed lineup
Just in case somebody asks. Hope it doesn't make the thread a bragpost. Playing in Tokyo is a bit like being on easy mode anyway (many nests, rare candies, tons of spawns and pokestops for XP/dust grinding), so it's not impressive considering that. It's the ones at level 39, not always the highest CP in the collection (many of them actually have non maxed Gyarados above them CP-wise)
Imgur
Pokemon CP IV Quick move Charge move
Dragonite 3530 100% Dragon Tail Hyper Beam
Dragonite 3522 98% Dragon Breath Dragon Pulse
Dragonite 3521 98% Steel Wing Hyper Beam
Dragonite 3513 96% Steel Wing Dragon Claw
Dragonite 3512 96% Dragon Breath Dragon Claw
Dragonite 3505 93% Steel Wing Hyper Beam
Dragonite 3505 96% Steel Wing Dragon Pulse
Dragonite 3488 82% Dragon Breath Hyper Beam
Dragonite 3486 89% Dragon Breath Dragon Claw
Dragonite 3485 89% Dragon Breath Hyper Beam
Dragonite 3485 89% Steel Wing Dragon Pulse
Snorlax 3238 76% Zen Headbutt Body Slam
Snorlax 3231 76% Lick Body Slam
Rhydon 3224 91% Mud Slap Earthquake
Gyarados 3188 87% Dragon Breath Hydro Pump
Blissey 3160 96% Zen Headbutt Dazzling Gleam
Vaporeon 3092 93% Water Gun Hydro Pump
Vaporeon 3076 89% Water Gun Aqua Tail
Espeon 2958 100% Confusion Futuresight
Alakazam 2845 100% Psycho Cut Dazzling Gleam
Exeggutor 2840 91% Zen Headbutt Solar Beam
Machamp 2831 96% Counter Close Combat
Flareon 2830 91% Fire Spin Overheat
Machamp 2829 96% Counter Close Combat
Arcanine 2776 93% Fire Fang Fire Blast
Jolteon 2666 91% Thunder Shock Thunder
Charizard 2599 89% Wing Attack Fire Blast
Lapras 2488 80% Frost Breath Blizzard
Umbreon 1999 93% Feint Attack Foul Play
Well, I intended to write a small review of my medals + species statdump and ended digressing and writing a much longer review. Kinda became a tourism/tokyo playguide. Maybe it makes the thread more interesting. I don't think many will actually read that wall of text. Since english isn't my main language, this wall of text might be painful to read.
tl;dr: Tokyo is mostly grass/watestreet biome, not much mountain/desert biome.
submitted by sts_ssp to TheSilphRoad [link] [comments]


2017.01.06 20:53 BlueLightSpcl Rough draft of a section of my introduction for my forthcoming book "The Unofficial Guide to Gaining Admission to UT-Austin." My journey from high school to working in college admissions - Feedback welcome [OC]

I am currently writing a book. I begin with a memoir of sorts. I have reproduced my first draft below. I will periodically post sections of my book so yall can get a sneak peak. I hope to have it published by the beginning of the next application cycle.
I recently received an e-mail from an anxious parent of an extraordinary son. Let’s call him Peter. Peter does all the right things – he performs well in rigorous courses, scores near perfect on standardized exams, and plays lead oboe in his school’s award-winning band. He will soon achieve the honor of Eagle Scout. His project collaborates with a writing non-profit that hosts free workshops for low-income students. He taught himself to code and he composes his own music, suiting him well to future studies in computer science. He’s quirky, energetic, curious, and responds well to criticism. Seemingly, Peter is the type of student any university would love to have and the sort of son that would make any parent proud.
His mom, Anne, reported literally losing sleep over the uncertainty and stress associated with helping her oldest navigate his transition to college. What if UT-Austin rejects Peter? What if he doesn’t gain admission to his chosen major, computer science? Are we doing everything in our power to maximize his chances?
Peter and I worked together nearly every day for over two months revising and editing his essays and resume. His final submissions bore little resemblance to his first efforts. We worked hard and I pushed him past his limits as a writer. His responses challenged me as an editor and strategist.
Answering Anne’s last question, I felt comfortable that his application would stand out amongst a crowded and competitive applicant pool. We’ve done everything we could. Peter seemed pleased with his final product, and presumably looks forward to playing at football games and otherwise enjoying his senior year. We won’t know until March whether UT invites him to join the Longhorn family.
To her first two reasonable questions – what if Peter fails? For many students, college admissions will be the first time they have done every “right” yet fallen short. For some, it is the first time they are told no. It disparages me that students and families tie self-worth and perceived success with totally uncertain, unknowable, and often disappointing outcomes. I find that, as an independent college consultant, parents think that they hire me to get their kids into college. The reasons they think they hire me often differ from the relationship that we build over time.
Frequently, I occupy the roles of “worry manager” equally with application strategist. As one anxious parent said after finding out her son received early admission to an honors program, “You were my life coach during this process. You held my hand while I held his.”
It’s worth reproducing my response to Anne, the quintessential worried parent. I have conversations like this every day with students and families around the world.
"I’m really sorry to hear you are losing sleep over all of this… Rightfully, I imagine it comes from your desire to want the best for Peter, and the educational opportunities open to him. I wish this process wasn’t so stressful and anxiety-inducing, and it saddens me to see people worrying over it. I’m not a parent and I’m not in a position to give parenting advice. I just know my parents, raising my brother and I the best they could, always trusted me to make the right decisions. I imagine you’ve raised a wonderful son. We will do our best to get him into UT, but I have no doubt he will excel wherever he ends up.
...One thing within an applicant and their family’s control is what they decide to worry about. It’s easy for me to sit here and say not to worry about it, or not pay attention to what his peers are doing, but I’m not the one applying nor have a child who’s future is wrapped up in this process. I recognize that.
The best advice I can give, truly – breathe, everything will be okay.
Trust in the process and not the outcome. Peter can’t control the outcome, only his attitude and the work he puts forward. Students and families who put so much emphasis on the admissions results are undoubtedly set themselves up for disappointment."
What I really feel as I dampen endless worry fires – this process sucks. College admissions sucks.
It was April 2011 during my senior year at UT, and I had no idea what to do with my life.
I had recently completed human rights work with genocide survivors in Bosnia and Rwanda. I spent my first Christmas and New Years away from home in East Africa. Years later, I still reflect on my month in the Land of a Thousand Hills as the most transformative and profoundly jarring experience of my life. Until that point, I had never conducted an hour of volunteer work or anything nominally called “service.” I left that Apply Texas section blank. Jetlagged, I hurried back to Austin, missing the first two classes of my final semester. Within a few days, I executed a series of life changing decisions.
I spent my Tuesday and Thursday mornings that semester swimming and lifting weights for three hours – the first time in my life. I figured if Rwandese genocide survivors living with HIV in absolute poverty running a community garden could eat healthy, I could finally shed my Sophomore Thirty. I broke up with my long-time girlfriend. I stepped away from my Peace Corps invitation to teach English in Eastern Europe.
I withdrew from the George H. Mitchell competition – our university’s most prestigious award honoring undergraduate research. I worried about disappointing my thesis advisor, at the time our second highest paid professor behind the Nobel physicist. He said of my thesis it was the single best he had ever received. Part of me felt I was “wasting my potential.” Despite being a favorite for the $20,000 top prize, I acknowledged deep down that I wanted neither to attend Law School nor pursue graduate studies.
More than that, I began not just questioning everything. I set fire to my beliefs. I concluded my inch-thick thesis about ethnic cleansing in 1990s Yugoslavia dismissing everything in the preceding 150 pages.
What was the point of academic research divorced from living, breathing people? I spent my final chapter sharing the stories of a few incredible heroes and survivors I met along the way. Pouring through thousands of pages of court testimony and legal documents cannot substitute for listening, embracing, and learning from people I soon called friends.
I didn’t realize walking into the Undergraduate Admissions Office at John Hargis Hall that April afternoon would be the first step towards finding my life’s calling: mentoring people navigating difficult and uncertain transitions.
Like most of my colleagues working in college admissions, if you asked me at eighteen, “Do you see yourself working in higher education four years from now?” I would have stared blankly. What’s “higher education?” Unless you worked as a student tour guide or ambassador, it is almost certain that the dozens of university representatives you see at college fairs never intended to work in college admissions.
I was late to my interview because I didn’t know exactly the admissions office location. Like many prospective students and families attending those information sessions off Red River and MLK, I had trouble finding parking. I wore clothes borrowed from my trendy Business Honors roommate (thanks David.) I responded to the job posting thinking, “That sounds pretty cool – be a Longhorn for a living.” Why not apply?
My future boss and I chatted for over an hour and a half. I still didn’t have the first clue what, exactly, a college admissions counselor does, but we got along really well. Since I never did an internship, went to a job fair, or participated in interview workshops, my mom reassured me that no, it isn’t typical for an interview to last that long, and yes, that is probably a promising sign.
In my final interview with the Director of Admissions and her second-in-command, I boldly answered ‘Where do you see yourself in five years?’ with, “I have no idea. If you make me commit to a two year contract, I appreciate the opportunity, but I am walking out the door.”
I erred towards sincerity rather than singing the tune of undying loyalty that employers typically want to hear. It worked. Sparing me the humiliation of prolonged under- and unemployment that many of my friends – despite doing all of the “right” things, coming from educated families, earning employable degrees, and checking off boxes for honors, internships, and networking – suffered after graduation, I received a phone call a few days before commencement. I was hired to be a UT-Austin Admissions Counselor working in the Dallas Regional Admissions Center – whatever that meant.
Stumbling into college admissions mirrored my transition from a working class, mixed-ethnicity high school in suburban Dallas to the Liberal Arts Honors program at UT-Austin. Neither of my parents received college degrees. Out of necessity, both began working jobs immediately after high school. I don’t think they identify their early careers in childhood retail and driving bread trucks as “their calling.” I would like to think, however, that my mother finds meaning in facilitating music concerts for elementary students and that my dad enjoys driving local school and long-haul charter busses. If nothing else, it put the fried chicken fingers and boxed macaroni on the table.
Most of my high school friends didn’t attend college after graduation. I didn’t learn much math or science. My freshman Geometry teacher lost our second semester grades, for example, and gave us 97s instead. Only five of my 500 classmates attended UT. Since my class rank guaranteed admission, it never occurred to me to apply elsewhere. My father always cheered for the Longhorns, and like having a positive first impression of my eventual first boss, that intuition seemed good enough for me.
I never visited with an admissions counselor, explored campus, or attended an information session. I didn’t know there was a “regional admissions center.” I applied to honors as an afterthought; in hindsight, I was very fortunate to receive admission. If not for a close friend who had older sisters attending UT, I would have been lost navigating the application and meeting deadlines. I didn’t bother to check out the location of my future home, Blanton Dormitory, during Summer Orientation, so my parents and I had an adventure fighting traffic on move-in day.
Unlike many of my honors peers, I never met with the LAH Director Dr. Larry Carver or his team of wonderful advisors prior to enrolling. I thought it was strange that, during my first honors meeting at orientation, he already recognized many of the people around the room addressing them by first name and asking about older siblings.
I was a “ghost applicant” – a technical term describing an applicant who never interacts with the university. Ghost applicants hurt a college’s ability to forecast and project which admitted students will enroll.
I blended in well enough – being white helps – but I didn’t relate to many who came from prestigious high schools and professional families. I talked different. I wore a sweat-stained hat from my high school baseball days and sported hopelessly-unhip Hollister cargo shorts. I had twin, ten-inch, peace-disturbing subwoofers in the trunk of my Honda Civic hatchback pumping the latest hip-hop. I had never owned a Polo and certainly didn’t understand the word “Sperries.” I stared blankly when asked, “Bro, you gunna rush?” I was a little dismayed by the obnoxious conversations in the honors dorms during my first days in Austin.
“Yeah, I applied to fourteen schools. I got into a few Ivies and honors at Michigan, but I decided to settle for UT.”
“My parents wouldn’t pay for the University of Chicago. Swarthmore and Williams deferred me. I applied Early Decision at Stanford but eventually received the waitlist. I guess Plan II is an okay backup.”
What was a Swarthmore and Williams? What is “deferred?” Early decision? Waitlists?
What in the hell were they talking about?
I initially challenged my friends, “What do your test scores and applications matter if we are all literally living in the same place and participating in the same honors programs?”
They blinked.
I couldn’t have realized it then, but I now understand that families and school districts groom their children for many years to enroll at elite universities. They hire consultants like me to gain additional advantages. Equally, they couldn’t believe I only applied to UT. To them, that seemed wildly irresponsible and reckless, almost comical, inconceivable. Their parents would never allow only applying to one university, especially a state school.
In hindsight, they’re probably right. If I knew then, I should have applied to more universities and actually visited campus before enrolling. Much of my time working for UT and even now is “do as I say, not as I did.”
Though I don’t come from rural Appalachia or the Rust Belt, and I am forever thankful for my loving and supportive parents and maternal grandmother, commentary on social mobility and class culture shock featured in J.D. Vance’s Hillybilly Elegy resonates with me. Along with adjusting to the rigor of an honors curriculum, I needed to learn how to interact cordially, send professional e-mails, and seek out resources.
I always felt a tinge of shame when people asked what suburb I came from. Meekly, I would answer Mesquite. And no, I didn’t attend Poteet – our predominantly white high school known for academics stronger than the other four high schools in our district. Even today, I tell prospective clients I come from Dallas lest I be judged for something I can’t control – where I was born and raised.
I slipped up a lot. Once, junior year, I addressed my African-American female professor as “Ms.” instead of “Dr.” Her eyes fired caustic barbs. It didn’t immediately occur to me where I screwed up until one of my classmates quietly corrected me. I didn’t mean to be insulting, I just didn’t know what I didn’t know – you always address an instructor as professor or doctor. I feel bad about that day, seven years later.
Even in my final days at UT, I didn’t feel like I belonged. I didn’t learn about dining etiquette and the nuance of utensil use until serving as a counselor for a high school business leadership camp called Subiendo shortly after graduation. Irrationally, I still feel uneasy about eating at fancy restaurants or going to country club weddings.
But everything turned out okay. Even though the braggarts and future fraternity boys seemed to have it all figured out, I recognize now that they were probably just as insecure and intimidated as I was. We all had our different reasons for being there even if we weren’t entirely sure what they were.
Unlike many of my classmates who already seemed burned out from what appeared to be a stressful time in high school, or who started caving under parental pressures, I flourished. They all seemed so focused on getting in, they didn’t have a clue what to do once they arrived. For the first time in my life, I was learning from world-class instructors and hanging out with highly motivated people.
My family had no expectations – it pleased them that I finished high school. Even if they still don’t understand exactly what it was I studied or did in college, it was more than enough that I was happy, had a lot of great friends, and brought home good grades.
Although I wasn’t initially at the top of the honors hierarchy who received special attention from our director, I eventually graduated at the very top of the University of Texas. At first, I wasn’t going to attend our commencement ceremony. What was the point? A cool fireworks show? Listening to an admittedly interesting Kay Bailey Hutchison speak?
I already possessed my education and lifelong friends. I didn’t need the recognition of the Mitchell research scholarship to validate work I found meaningful. I rejected any pretentions of pomp claiming to affirm my transformative, challenging, and rewarding four years in Austin. My parents, happy to watch me walk the stage during the Liberal Arts ceremony, were indifferent about the university-wide commencement.
A few weeks before graduation, I happened to be in Dallas. I received a call from the President’s Office. President Powers chose me and two other students from the Class of 2011 to literally highlight and showcase in his commencement speech. I walked into the kitchen as my dad was bringing in his famous grilled chicken wings, “Hey so, uh, I got a call from the President’s Office, and he wants to talk about me in his speech or something. They feel like I should attend commencement.” We shrugged, not really understanding the significance of this honor. My sister-in-law (Cockrell ’08) assured me it was a big deal. I guess I would be attending the commencement ceremony.
I look back on the photos of my 15 minutes of fame from that humid evening in May. I am standing proudly, squinting under the blinding spotlight, extending my Hook ‘Em Horns on behalf of the College of Liberal Arts. My face beams on huge televisions broadcasting to over 20,000 people in attendance. I look equal parts frightened and ecstatic and kind of goofy.
Holy crap Powers is actually telling my story!
“…These experiences from his UT education transformed his philosophy of life, which he summarizes as ‘Love the beauty; don’t hate the injustice.’ Kevin’s long-term plans are to teach English in a developing country.”
No doubt my mom was losing it, going wild, probably getting dirty looks from the other VIP tables, people who probably paid top dollar or had connections affording front-row seats.
“That’s my baby!!!”
While surrounded by my friends who I snuck to the front so we could share this moment together – at one point screaming so obnoxiously that President Powers had to pause his speech – I realized something.
My graduation cap was on backwards.
  • Kevin
submitted by BlueLightSpcl to ApplyingToCollege [link] [comments]


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